Lessons Others Taught Me 4 - Dr. Nalini Nargundkar

Dr Nalini Nargundkar is my mother in law. Now 91, she lives alone in her bungalow in Pune in bliss. It has been close to three decades now that my father in law passed away and ever since then, i have never heard her sound happy or talk about boredom or sadness etc. In fact, she is full of beans, always happy and has tons of stuff to do.

Dr Nalini Nargundkar

I asked her one day what the secret to her happiness was and she told me something very profound. She said 'I work for my happiness. We cannot expect happiness to come by itself, it is our responsibility to make it happen.'

So she does things that make her happy. very consciously, not hoping, not expecting, nothing. I want to eat this, she gets that, I want to watch this, she watches that, I want to go there, she goes there. even the slightest change in taste or brand and she discards it, so particular is she. Now, it's not like she throws a tantrum or anything, she expresses herself fully and moves on. And when things just don't go the way she wants, she wastes no time being unhappy, she moves on to the next thing that makes her happy. Incredible.

It is we who are responsible for our happiness. No one else is. Brilliant insight (I always thought happiness happened to us if we were lucky - didn't know we could be happy by ourselves, by choosing.)