Thursday, January 12, 2023

The Tools - Phil Stutz and Barry Michels

 Stutz is known to be an unconventional psychotherapist who actively offers solutions and is the star of the Netflix docu 'Stutz'. This book is written by Michels and him (they have 60 years of practice between them) and primarily addresses five tools that he says will help you lead a better life. They are rather simple tools, which you may have heard about already but the key is to practice them and see how life changes magically.

Tool 1. Reversal of Desire

We don't do things that are for our growth and our good simply because we are afraid of pain and stay in our comfort zone. We avoid doing certain things. By doing this we miss endless possibilities of life which is a high price to pay. The comfort zone is supposed to keep you safe, it also keeps you small. 

Stutz says 'if you cannot tolerate pain, you can't be fully alive'. Or in other words, get used to pain. It will be there - one way or another, whether you do things or not. So it's better we meet pain.

How does one desire pain? Only when we have a sense of purpose that moves us forward which will help us go through pain (Steve Jobs said that too). In such a case the force of forward motion is greater than the desire to avoid pain. The central task of every adult is to find her purpose in this world. Choose it consciously and the pain that comes with it. To harness higher power you have to become one with it. You need to change your state of being.

The Reversal of Desire is a tool that trains you to desire pain. Here's how it works.

- See the pain (of whatever you are avoiding) appear in front of you as a cloud
- Scream at it 'Bring it on' and go into it (make the cloud, the pain as extreme as you can, the worst possibility)
- Scream 'I love pain'  be one with it
-At some point the cloud spits you out - say 'Pain sets me free'

Use this tool whenever you catch yourself avoiding something.

Tool 2. - Active Love

We are often triggered by people's reactions, past triggers and we enter a maze and go deeper and deeper into it with no possibility of coming out. This maze damages you, your relationships and even your relationship with your life. When you're caught in the maze, life passes you by.

    'Fairness is a childish expectation. Be bigger than fairness'

To overcome this irrational trigger and reaction, tap into love in its highest form - an outflow. An outflow is like a huge tidal wave. Be one with it. It takes work to be truly loving.

When in the maze 
- imagine you are surrounded by a warm liquid light of love
- feel your heart expand and engulf you so you are one with it
- bring it back and concentrate it in your heart
- focus it on the person who triggered it
- send energy directly to them (their solar pleaxus), like a deep breath exhalation
- feel it enter, feel the connection from you to her, feel one

Tool 3 - Inner Authority

Our insecurity makes it difficult to connect with one another. It makes us stiff, ungiving. 'People don't give us opportunities because of merit - they do because they feel connected to us.'

What makes us insecure is our second self - the shadow self (it is everything we don't want to be but fear we are in one single image). Our shadow is our other person who is insecure. We are ashamed of our shadow so we look outside. But actually this second self is a place deep inside us which gave us much strength and insight as children. We have hidden this inner self deep inside, made it into a garbage dump, of our worst qualities. We turned something beautiful into something we hate.

To get over our insecurity before we perform
- Face the audience but have your shadow face you
- Focus on yours shadow...feel an unshakeable bond with your shadow however it may be...
- as a unit you two are  fearless
-together turn to the audience and command them to 'listen' to you

There's nothing to be afraid of, to be ashamed of.

Tool 4 - The Grateful Flow

When we worry incessantly we create a black cloud over our head which blocks out all the sunshine. This black cloud annihilates the sense of peace that we feel fleetingly. To defeat our negativity, we have to access the sun. (The universe works mysteriously and we are the constant beneficiaries of it)

When you sense negativity come on

- Pick things you can be grateful for (five things, say them to yourself)
- Pick more things and say them to yourself, feel gratefulness move upward
- Generate gratefulness without words - feel the grateful flow as it breaks through the black cloud

Tool 5 - Jeopardy 

We can never escape life's endless struggles. We need a deadline, a wake up call to take life more seriously. This constant state of jeopardy will keep us on our feet and help us go through fear. You must be aware that your future is in jeopardy because of your actions.

- imagine yourself in your deathbed looking at you now
- act as directed by that deathbed you

We need a permanent source of jeopardy to keep us at our potential. Will power is the missing link to human potential    


Simple but powerful advice. I loved the five tools. There are enough testimonials to testify that. Stutz looks to evoke higher forces which he says are out there to help you. Just use these tools and get yourself into a position to receive. Thanks Mythily for the book!

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