Thursday, June 18, 2015

Thought for the Day - How to be free

One oft heard desire is that one wants to be 'free'. To be released from responsibilities one is tied to - the daughter-in-law wants freedom from the mother-in-law, husband wants freedom from the wife and wife from the husband, employees want freedom from employment, kids want freedom from  school and parents etc etc. 

The reason for the desire for freedom is normally this - that the victims are not 'allowed' to be themselves. That they are being moulded in a certain way through structures and rules which go against their natural tendencies. This force fitting them into a different mould causes them to give up, resent authority and want to flee. Someplace where they can be 'themselves'. Where they are allowed to be themselves.

The fact of the matter is that unless one is physically chained or restricted, one is free to be themselves. I mean one is always 'themselves' - we don't lose ourselves because of some rules or structures do we? It is a choice for us to make whether we want to be ourselves or not. In spite of the rules or structures. Or, if the rules get too heavy, to bear with them and still retain ourselves, in other times.

But most times we take our resentment against rules and expectations as the end of everything. We protest against the rule and cease being ourselves as a form of rebellion. We cause immense harm to ourselves in these protests because its more important to prove that we are wronged - than to stay happy, healthy (ourselves!). The resentment eats away slowly and one can well kiss that real person good bye.

None of this is the perpetrator's fault. Whatever the perpetrator demanded is one thing but to take the resentment to all levels is plain stupidity. Instead, it might help to find a way to be free of the 'need to be demanded of such sacrifices' - so one can be oneself. It is better to ask yourself - what is the need within me that makes this person make these demands. If you can address that, you can be yourself.


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