It was while talking to a famous parent the other day that it struck me that the burden that all children carry is only one - that of not wanting to disappoint their parents. Somehow they are programmed with this burden from their birth - that they need to make their parents proud of them. Sometimes the parents also unknowingly rub their expectations hard on their children, in their own notion of what they think is good for the child. What they don't realise is that the children find themselves even more burdened with every word, every look, every result and they crack.
When the parents are highly successful people, the burden can become bigger and can push the children to extremes - they either accept their fate or they rebel big time.
It might help to tell the children that they owe us no debt. That they have no burden to carry. That they can choose to be whatever they want to be and they will be supported in their endeavour. Support here is purely emotional - the child cannot be carried on the parents shoulders. They must fly on their own, free in the knowledge that they can fly. And when they soar, they can be no greater pride for the parents.
Release all children from this burden now. Let them fly freely. They cannot fly with a weight tied to their legs.
When the parents are highly successful people, the burden can become bigger and can push the children to extremes - they either accept their fate or they rebel big time.
It might help to tell the children that they owe us no debt. That they have no burden to carry. That they can choose to be whatever they want to be and they will be supported in their endeavour. Support here is purely emotional - the child cannot be carried on the parents shoulders. They must fly on their own, free in the knowledge that they can fly. And when they soar, they can be no greater pride for the parents.
Release all children from this burden now. Let them fly freely. They cannot fly with a weight tied to their legs.
2 comments:
Many kids are reduced to running away from home-even grown-ups , to marry for example. It's crazy, and scary too.
Most also die because they do not see any other way out. It's sad because the parents do not want that either. The onus shifts to the parents to (1) relieve the burden by telling the children that there is no special burden they need carry for the parents (2) gently show their point of view and explain why they think that way and (3)to listen to the children's point of view and (4)consider a workable path.
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