It's interesting to check yourself on this one. How many people are you comfortable asking for anything? The comfort you had in asking your mother or the special friend or sibling for anything that you wanted. Many times, the fact that you can ask someone and they will indulge you is itself is a huge validation a feeling as good as actually getting it.
|Ask and the world gives - Pic Satish Nargundkar|
I found that I have great difficulty in asking people for anything. I wasn't always like this - I think I was pretty good at it when I was young but then slowly lost it. I love the way some of my friends, siblings ask for anything. Buy me that gift, said my brother last year and we all pooled in and bought him a nice gift he wanted. Take us out to buy sarees say my sisters and I take them out. I'm coming over so keep yourself free say my friends and I keep myself free. But I find that I have little want for anything and there are times when I ask - maybe a book, some clothes, a trip, a coffee even - or something that I have been wanting to do and I find it difficult to ask. Sometimes I ask and then cancel it myself.
Like the coconut water example. This was in Goa, in 2012. Vidyuth and I were driving every day from Panaji to Margoa to watch some matches. Every day on the way back I would see these coconut sellers and think 'I'd like to drink coconut water' and then I'd cancel my order and the moment was gone. On the fourth day I told Vidyuth as we passed that spot - Viddu, you know every day I have been thinking of drinking coconut water but cancel it in my head. Vidyuth was shocked and turned the car around and stopped at the coconut vendor and we had coconut water. That's how lousy I am at taking care of myself, at asking for what I want. It goes for small things like that - tea, coffee, biscuits, samosas, stuff to order in restaurants, clothes to pick, always second-guessing, always settling.
If I can't indulge myself, how can I ask anyone else?
But it's an important quality I feel, this ability to ask unhesitatingly. At best we may get a No, but that need not deter us from asking. It's also a way of saying I trust you enough to take your No. But we don't have enough of such people we can ask and I feel that is something one needs to improve on.
I need to improve on. Something I am learning.
Post a Comment