Thursday, February 6, 2014

Article - The Fine Art of Flirting

This must be ten years old too. The songs give it away a bit as do the flirting styles. Old-fashioned stuff.But it had its uses.

All flirts have well defined markets. Crass flirts operate in the low end with their obvious come-on's while flirt-artists float along the high end of the market with smooth approaches and silken touches. Crass flirts, for example, would think nothing of wearing loud and shiny clothes and sing 'Eh, kya bolti tu' to every passing PYT (Pretty Young Thing for the uninitiated), firm in his belief that the more people he propositions, the greater are his chances of getting a response. Though this approach scores heavily in terms of getting attention of all and sundry including the constabulary, chances of further progress are slim unless the object of attention is from out of town or is in a highly aggravated state of mind.

The crass flirt has a problem- he has no substance to back his bright start. So when he swaggers up and says kya bolti tu, in bright clothes (to attract attention), sleeveless tops (to show case bulging biceps), goggles (for style), perfumes (that make one faint), cell phones (for stupid SMS jokes) cars with loud music etc, the objects of their attention may hold themselves back to take a second look before plunging into a relationship yelling 'God, he's so cute!' But once they figure out that his accent and attitude are also borrowed (in addition to his accessories) and his sensibilities are centred around himself, all further progress is stalled.

The good news is that low-end crass flirts can be upgraded by imbibing high-end methods. A study of the high-end artist reveals that his clothes, demeanor, walk and personality are subtle yet stylish, simple yet original, and leave an effect that lingers on at the back of the mind like an exotic taste. He always exudes an air of being preoccupied with himself, to the point of exclusion (as opposed to the low-end flirt who is busy ogling, whistling and singing songs). His timing is perfect as he chooses the right opportunity to smile or glance at the object, catching her unawares as she stares at him (as opposed to crass flirt who barges into her personal space yelling kya bolti tu). The fine artist chooses appropriate moments to display a variety of his sensibilities - subtle and sharp sense of humor, worldviews and his concerns. His praise when it comes is genuine and underplayed (not a passing rendition of 'tu cheez badi hai mast mast') etc.

The fine flirt, like a good writer leaves an element of mystery that makes the subject want to know more, want to turn the page. So he keeps out small harmless details to create a forbidden air around him (the crass flirt lets it all hang out in the first instance). He listens (as against subjecting her to a series of childhood stories of himself and his puerile friends). He makes his moves so smoothly that she is rather confused as to who made the first move. His first lines are carefully chosen and worded so they make that everlasting first impression (not the oft heard 'kya bolti tu).

Though all this may sound as complicated as understanding atomic science to the low-end flirt, the ground rules are rather simple. Honesty always creates a mystery because people somehow never seem to believe the truth. A little consideration could work as a better compliment than stolen lines to describe hair, eyes and other parts. A little more of the real you will set you apart from the rest of the crass flirts who are always imitating someone else.

The experienced flirt artist makes the entire experience of flirting seem smoother than one of those hard-to-pronounce wines. To be at the receiving end of a flirt artist is the ultimate experience in flattery that everyone craves for; the experience of pumping adrenaline, of hot flushes, of boundaries blurring, albeit temporarily. And as with all nice things, when flirt artists leave, they leave behind a nice warm feeling.

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