Saturday, March 5, 2016

The Paradoxes of Our Lives - Give More Responsibility to Make People More Responsible

If we want others around us to behave in a particular way, it is mostly because we are not giving them enough of that in the true sense. For example if we want people to behave responsibly, we are probably not giving them enough responsibility. We probably have preconceived ideas of responsibility and thereby do not give them any responsibility. Maybe we even think we are the only ones who are responsible and cannot let go of this thought or way of doing things.

There are many other ways of doing things. Let them do it their way.

Someone who is irresponsible becomes responsible when we give them responsibility and trust them with it. When we tell them to handle something on their own - and stand by to support without interfering. A child who is given the job of handling another knows what it means to be responsible. A  student who wants freedom understands the true meaning of freedom when he is given more freedom to express himself more constructively (give the JNU students freedom to address the issues that bother them - they have the fire, energy and the clarity to use that opportunity - they will also not speak of freedom anymore because they have got it and now have to exercise it).

The tragedy is that we shut them out when they behave in a particular way that is not 'our' way. Irresponsible people become responsible when given responsibility for someone or something. In jobs, in homes, in society.

But are we secure enough to do that?

Most times we cannot do that because we fear a loss of control. But the biggest danger is that by denying them, you only make them more irresponsible. You do not use their energy constructively. It becomes destructive to the self and those around.

And by letting them be like that, we are being even more irresponsible than they are. They are young. They do not know. We know.

As those in power, as those who can teach and mentor, we must first find the security within ourselves to let them handle it, to let them make mistakes, and guide them to be the best they can be.

No comments: