I noticed that when someone says something against me, or even if I perceive that something went wrong and I am involved, I tend to withdraw. I can be having a great time until then and one word or some perceived something will make me withdraw. The book 'The Four Agreements' called it 'Taking it Personally'. It calls it the most selfish thing to do because you think it's about you when it's not. The way forward he says is to not let any emotional poison enter you and remain unaffected by everything.
An ideal state. I'd like to get there.
I also realise that when I am happy, I am in full flow. I am laughing, having fun, light and easy, high on energy. One emotional poison dart and I am down in the dumps. One thought, one word, one feeling.
I was trying to get to the bottom of that.
The visual that came to me - a very helpful visual indeed - is one where I am in a full state. This is when I am happy and fully aligned with myself. Then an emotional dart hits me (or I hit myself) and then I shrink drastically from my real expanded self. This dart causes my fake and selfish self to shrink and be out of alignment with myself.
This is clearly no use for me.
The visual is helping me find when I am shrinking and out of alignment. I can see a poisonous emotional dart entering me and causing me to shrink. That I know is a state of fear. I can now see how it is not good and how I must quickly expand and return to my original state.
The state of love.
It's powerful. Working on it now. If I can come out of my lows and rejections and self-imposed hurts, I am saving up a lot of good energy. Wait a bit world, I am coming.
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