We live the story that we tell ourselves repeatedly. This is what I realised when I read the book 'The Art of Dramatic Writing' by Lajos Egri. One of the most powerful ideas I got from the book is about how we can use the premise of the story to rewrite our narrative - and change our lives. We can wrest happy endings out of dull, dreary and hopeless plots, make ur characters come alive, claim a new life.
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| Change the Story You Tell Yourself - Change Your Life |
A premise is "a proposition, stated or assumed, leading to a conclusion." It shows the road. The premise is the conception of the story.
Some famous premises
Great love defies even death - Romeo and Juliet
Blind trust leads to destruction - King Lear
Ruthless ambition leads to self-destruction - Macbeth
Jealousy destroys itself and the object of its love - Othello
A good premise is the thumbnail synopsis of our story. The premise is the motivation behind everything we do. Believe in the premise and prove it. Do not write a premise you do not believe.
Prove the premise wholeheartedly.
How We Can Use the Idea to Change Our Life
Do we have a premise for our life story?
What are we proving through our life?
What are we putting our very life (literally) at stake here? Is it worthy of our life?
Most times we do not have a premise for our life. Without a premise, we will go hither and thither because we have no path or premise to prove through our life. Because Without a worthy purpose (or challenge), we do not stretch our capabilities, living well below our potential. We are at the mercy of the world to throw us into the cauldron and hope that the right things happen and bring out the best in us.
But why should we always be at the mercy of the fates? Can we do things differently? Can we use the idea of a premise, to rewrite our narrative?
The Three Stages
Stage 1 - Having no premise and believing we have no power over our story because of that
Stage 2 - Having no premise but somehow believing that the story would turn out well
Stage 3 - Having a premise and creating a sorry where you are the protagonist and lead the story the way you want it
An Example
Let's say my current narrative is that of a nice guy who works hard but does not get any recognition, fame or money. It is a hard luck story. A loser's story.
The premise of my life (working backwards from my story) from the above description could be - "I am helpless against the powers of the world'. Or. 'I have no power to change my life." Or. "Whatever I do will not work for me". Or. "I am a tragic hero."
If I believe this premise, I will always remain here. That will be my story. I will never challenge myself to bring the best me into the arena of life and change it, because the premise which I did not set earlier, but which has now become my story through my experiences, is driving me!
Let's say I want to change that story.
I change the premise of my story. I will pick the things that are eluding me or limiting me in my life and turn them around. I will make this the story of someone who can turn anything around and into gold. And I will die for that cause.
Let's say a premise like - "I have the power to change anything I take up, whatever it takes." Or. " My life is of continuous growth, learning and progress and shows in recognition, success and wealth.' Or. "My sole purpose in my life is to grow to my fullest potential." Or. 'My purpose is to be the ideal/best version of me that I can visualise.'
Now, having set a premise like that, my only job in life is to prove this premise right.
What this new premise does is that it summons all of our innate qualities and strengths and focusses them into proving our premise. We get a clear path to work at and focus all our energies. All that is not going into proving our premise becomes secondary. This becomes an all-consuming thing for us and this is something we are willing to stake our life for.
Whatever and whoever supports our premise and our new story will come into our life. Whatever and whoever does not support this new story will fall off. As simple as that.
What to Watch Out for While Setting the Premise
A weak story is the result of a weak premise. If the premise is weak it cannot challenge the character and the character never rises above. Typically weak premises that lead to weak stories could be afflicted by the following issues
- too many limiting factors, feelings of helplessness
- a mindset ruled by the ego, where we are bent on proving ourselves right and others wrong, of blame and excuse, of separation and isolation
- an insecure space, a space where we are scared to let go (of our identity, past, relationships etc)
- a fear-based approach to life, to our story
- a heavy and tight space that is brittle and breaks at the slightest hint of pressure
A strong premise that will grow you will have elements that are
- a story of having the power to overcome the limiting factors or at least die in the effort, no compromise
- a mindset ruled by growth (self), of inclusion and collaboration
- a secure space where we are ok to let go of our old identity to create a new one (even being ok to let go of people, past, relationships etc) in search of the new story
- a love based approach to love
- a light and loose space that allows you fluidity, flexibility, fun and the quality to adapt and move on instead of breaking
You set the context. You give your story meaning.
Even the slightest vision of a better version of ourselves, as one who can overcome our limiting elements in our present story, written down as a premise, will give us the power to change our story. It will fuel our character and our inherent virtues and qualities that we haven't yet seen, rise. Every time we have doubt or hardship, our premise will drag us back to our vision of our new story - an empowered one.
Like they say the premise is the motivation behind everything we do.
What is the premise of our life that we want to prove wholeheartedly?
That we want to burn our life to prove?
Find it. Write it down in a short, powerful line. Believe it. Prove it. It's a life well-lived. It's a life of purpose.
Collaboration Helps Too
As with anything else, it helps to collaborate with someone you trust, someone who is interested in your growth like a mentor, coach, therapist. Set the premise for your life. Discuss. Take help. You may take a few versions to get the right one. it is worth taking the time for it because then it holds your energies, shows the path. It can elevate your life. It makes you the hero/heroine of your movie and not some extra.
Setting a Premise for your Relationships
You could also collaborate with others to set a premise for a relationship or a team as well. What is the story arc for your relationship? What would you like it to be ideally? Can you see that premise and share and agree on proving that story?
A relationship with no premise that is shared can go here and there. But a relationship that shares a premise that is as simple as - "let's work towards our growth and help one another in furthering our aspirations and reach our higher/highest potential" - can give a whole new energy and direction to the relationship.
Now not everyone is tuned into that frequency. Some people may not buy into it because they have a weak premise for their story. But you need not limit yourself. You can rewrite your story. if they care to join on the path of growth, they are welcome. If they wish to remain where they are that's fine too - but you be clear that you need to drive your story the way you want to. At all costs! It's after your life at stake. Make it big. Make it worthwhile. Only you can do it. No one else.
Change the story in your head. Change your life.
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