Tuesday, June 14, 2016

The Paradoxes of our Lives - To be Secure, Embrace Insecurity

To be truly secure, we must embrace insecurity. Uncertainty.

Once we are okay with uncertainty, we are truly secure.


Anonymous said...

To be secure, should we not reduce -and if possible - minimize sources of insecurity?

And if we embrace it, do we not welcome it and become comfortable (living) with it and its consequences?

Just a thought.

Harimohan said...

Hi Anon,
I was looking at insecurity here more from an uncertainty angle. Normally uncertainty leads to us feeling insecure, hence.
If we are comfortable with uncertainty as a way of life, if we are willing to roll with the punches and be open to all outcomes, I feel we would be far more secure than we would be with limited outcomes and a limited field (of certainty and uncertainty). When the whole field is open, and we are ok with it, I feel we are truly secure.

Anonymous said...

Hi - Whether it is a business, an investor, or an individual, I agree that being "comfortable" with uncertainty (externally caused) is a good thing. BUT, the end goal is to take actions that lead to security in the face of uncertainty - not to become secure in uncertainty.

So, businesses will choose strategies with more predictable returns in an uncertain environment (the stock market would punish companies that continue to be comfortable with uncertainty and employees will flee), traders will move to investment options that lead to predictability (perhaps hedge bets with a combination of equity and bonds and not be caught holding the bag), and I am assuming most of us want to personally cope through actions that dampen uncertainty for us and our families (so we can sleep better).

I actually fear, from a personal standpoint, that my becoming comfortable with uncertainty will simply beget uncertainty - and may be perhaps my excuse for inaction and complacence. So I want to deal with uncertainty boldly - like a wild animal in the backyard - but I need to mitigate uncertainty as much as I can - not have the animal living in my back yard in perpetuity.

Well, too much said already.

Harimohan said...

Hi Anon,
I like the wild animal in the backyard example. My idea of security is that space in our minds where we are not fighting it - and it does not fight us. We coexist peacefully (would the Life in Pi example make sense here I wonder?). Like the wild animal, uncertainty in our life is unpredictable, yet its as certain as anything else, how much ever we would like to wish it away or control it. I feel we cannot wish it away. Then in that case, to fight it aggressively is one way, to make peace with it another.
Looking forward to your reply. :)

Anonymous said...

I guess there could be alternate, and possibly many ways of dealing with uncertainty. However, I am not sure insecurity - which is different from uncertainty - is something that I (and perhaps most) would want to find a way to deal with. Unless I am on a rope between skyscrapers or jumping off a plane at 12,000 feet. I want it gone or minimized.

Harimohan said...

Hi Anon,
Glad to see your response.This is interesting.
Agreed. I see your point of view.

In an ideal world I would not want to feel insecure ever. I would want to feel so secure that I feel like I own the world. However I suspect that most of us do suffer from our insecurities - small and large.

My theory then is that insecurity remains a constant partner. I don't know how to put it but I do think insecurity is borne out of my discomfort with uncertainty - again caused by beliefs etc perhpas -its almost like they are twins with different names - but both causing me equal discomfort.

If it is a constant partner that won't go away, I look at it closely. Maybe insecurity is serving a purpose. Maybe it is keeping me on my toes. Maybe its teaching me to accept the uncertainty in the situation - that uncertainty is the only certainty. Maybe, it has a bigger purpose of making me open my ways to more glorious possibilities when I go beyond my fear of uncertainty which limits possibilities.

When that point does arrive, I feel that one way to deal wth this aspect is to face its presence, its reality, and accept it. Find a space for it and look at it, not apathetically or fatalistically, but as a real part of my existence. Even as a friend or an associate helping me along on the journey. That moment of acceptance does much to make me more secure because I did deal with it and made peace with it in my mind. That's what I can control.

The other alternative is to ignore its presence (if insecurity is present - if it's not present - then there is no debate) but all the while knowing that it's lurking around and guiding our actions through that fear.

A real life example of mine. I was bothered by a particular pattern in my life that caused me much insecurity. It kept me awake at nights and came down to a point when I would actually sweat at its thought. As a person too I became very unsure because this aspect guided me and became me. One day, perhaps at its lowest and when it could go no lower, I just accepted its reality, its presence in my life. In a moment, what was a shameful part of my existence suddenly because me, became fashionable almost. I wore it with pride, did not hide it. And I was back, nay, a better man for that. Rather recent this experience, so I know how it felt. (I still feel insecure about it but its far less.) Hoping that this example would put my perspective in clearer light.

Over to you. :)

Anonymous said...

Interesting perspectives which further suggest that there may be many ways of dealing with uncertainty.

This cliched but applicable quote attributed to a famous theologian captures the two major approaches "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Best wishes.

Harimohan said...

Well said Anon. Thanks for sharing your perspectives and bearing with mine. :)
I enjoyed it all and am certainly better off for it.

Best wishes to you too and hope to see you back.