Thursday, March 3, 2011

Tees Maar Khan - Movie Review

I watched 'Tees Maar Khan' at home alone last night. Thankfully. Being Sivaratri I decided to watch a few movies and have a late night so I got myself two that I missed out form our friendly neighbourhood DVD store TMK and BBB (Band Baaja Baraat). I will dwell on TMK briefly.

It is incredible. For the first half an hour I was wondering what was going on. I mean, are these guys for real? Do they seriously expect people to pay many and watch this? Is this supposed to be funny? Did they feel like laughing when they made this movie? How come there are so many hot shot people in this movie and none realised what a dud this was? Is it to say that they are all duds or did they see some potential? Is it one of those pranks that they hoped would flop so they can write off their earlier profits? What in God's name is this?

Not one character appealed to me. They all offended my senses. It might appeal to those who leave their senses at home but even then I doubt it. The first scenes of the movie when the Commissioner of Police has this incredibly funny (or so thought Ms. Farah Khan) meeting to safeguard the 500 crore treasure from the likes of TMK and others. It was embarrassing. Then comes an over the top Akshay Kumar (TMK) and his infuriating bunch of sidekicks who pick him up at the airport (after he saves the plane from certain disaster by opening the door to the cockpit since the pilots have all ventured out for some reason or another - don't ask - and becomes a hero). He heads to his girlfriend, an incredibly stupid Anya (Katrina) who is doing the famous item number - Sheila ki Jawani. I wonder why that song and the routine became famous - nothing much there. And then begins the offer to TMK to rob the train by that crazy, rude, bald couple of guys from the reality shows who are equally infuriating. TMK comes with an idea that only the most fantastic can conceive - to have a village believe that they are playing revolutionaries who are stopping the train to save the Indian treasure, to have the top actor believe the same because he wants an Oscar and do the role, to have the goods train go with one lock carrying the treasures - Farah Khan leads us to believe that we are all as stupid or foolish as the villagers can get. For once you also wonder at what people can do for money - they can become absolute asses - and that goes for everyone in the cast. Undoubtedly the audience is an ass if this is what the makers can get away with (I have no idea how it did - maybe it made its money in this complex world of movie making) but assuredly the makers can also share the crown. All that I missed was an Oscar presentation ceremony at the village where the President dances with the retarded Sheila.

For one moment in the film, just one, Akshay almost elevated the movie in a scene in the village and almost, almost made me smile. That was the high point of the movie. but you cannot walk off until the end credits because there is an amazing display of all the people in the movie walking off with a replica of Oscars, most of them going to the brains behind this movie, Shirish Kunder who has done almost everything from writing, editing, music, lyrics and what not. I think one must watch it to experience it. It truly truly appeals to the retarded side of everyone as the attempt to make a Mel Brooks kind of a film goes horribly wrong. I am glad to know that there are so many out there in our retarded boat - the producers, director, actors and everybody concerned. We deserve each other my dear movie makers, the audience deserves you just as you deserve the audience!


Rajendra said...

I had heard it was atrocious, and stayed away. I was actually not too kicked about Farah Khan's earlier outings either, but the junta forced me to remain silent on those.

Harimohan said...

Yes, I was not much of a Farah Khan fan either. Think she plays too much on the 'entertainment' factor as in getting 'inspired' frequently and not being too original. But TMK is a masterpiece and must be watched to see how bad things can go - but here I guess her husband Shirish Kunder gets the credit. It might have worked even as a simple train robbery movie - I hope this slapstick robbery was not Farah's idea!