Thought for the Day - It's Easier to Forgive Yourself When You Let Yourself Down

 I was out today to do some work. Now every outing in these masked, COVID times are in some way or the other stressful. So I went ahead with a longer than normal list of things to do, not as in a long list, but in more locations. Anyway, I landed up at the last spot, where I needed some printouts.  I realised that I had not copied the files into the pen drive though I had identified them.

Pic - Satish Nargundkar

So I thought I could call home and have someone mail them and i could download the same. As luck would have it, the phones were not reachable - Shobha's phone has poor connectivity inside and she was already in a session, while the landline was continuously busy which meant that it was probably off he hook. After ten minutes I drove back, copied the stuff on the pen drive and went out in the rain again. It took a long time this time because the main guy went missing and some sidey was there who could not operate it well. Anyway, thankfully it got done.

But I was seething inside. I was angry at the phones and by extension the people who had access to the phones. When I tried to use the Emotional Intelligence method and tried to identify my emotions I found 'disappointment' and 'annoyed'  and 'mad' When I asked myself who I was mad at I realised it was the situation I had placed myself into. I realised clearly that it was my mistake that I did not copy it properly before I left. And then I told myself that instead of being mad at the innocent bystanders, can I express myself against me?

Funnily, the moment I became the culprit, it was easy to see the humour in the situation. i could visualise myself telling Anjali in a self-deprecating manner that I had forgotten and was doing things double-double. This sense of humour was something I was not willing to lavish on others. My victim space was too sacred. It was very interesting, the whole play.

Despite all this, when I went home I still put up on serious front, probably to leverage some sympathy. It didn't work so I went into my room. The good outcome - I could laugh at myself, break the spiral of being angry with them and get some control over the space.