Sunday, November 6, 2011

Thought for the Day - How To Go Through Fear

We hear this many times - that the best way to deal with fear is to go through it. Easier said than done. How does one actually do it? Should one close one's eyes and go through it blindly and hope for the best? Should one get it over with quickly by clenching one's teeth? Should one take it step by step, fearing every bit of the way? Should one hold on to something external? This is something that always bothered me. Everyone fears something or the other and our growth lies in overcoming the fears we have. But how does one actually do it.

I have a theory. Fear is something one must go into with eyes open wide. Any other way is harmful and detrimental to the cause and might even set you back. It must be a deliberate and careful, look-fear-in-the-eye act for the best results. That is the first part out of the way.

The actual doing could be this way. While starting the fear ridden job think that you are writing a journal or a diary or a book or a blog. Anything written as a step-by-step guide (the 'How I did It') will require extreme concentration. The book could be for yourself or for anyone else, for someone you love who might go through that experience again like your children. All the points of fear, which actually cause you to close your eyes and numb your mind, will open your mind up because these are the uncertain details you want to know more about to write or recount your experience. You will capture your true feelings about it, your reactions will be careful and deliberate, and you will normally let the experience sink in well. Go through each detail with your mind, you can even talk to yourself, or even talk to the person next to you about the details. It is after all the details, that scare you. Once you get down to seeing them, its easy.

Writing becomes a great tool then to know of so any things. People, places, ideas. Interviews done with your own family will yield so much information about them to you that you can never find even after a lifetime. Try doing interviews with your family members and put it on your blog or your diary. Its a great bonding experience. Or do an interview with someone who troubles you, or makes you uncomfortable. You will see him or her in a totally different light after the interview.

To go through fear is a great thing. Make a list of all things that frighten you and decide to do an article or a blog on each experience. Easy. Now it has a totally different flavour - you are the seeker, not the supposedly 'learned' one who can make mistakes or be like a fool. The seeker can make as many mistakes, ask as many foolish questions as he wants. To be the seeker then, is the best way to be. Like they say - stay foolish, stay hungry. And to win, you must learn to let go.


Madhav said...

The way I learned to handle fear over the years is to learn everything you can about whatever you fear. Then you can confront it better.

Harimohan said...

Yes, exactly what I am saying (only in a more verbose way). That once we open our eyes and senses and learn everything about the situation, we can face it better, or rather it dissolves in the light. The way to approach the learning part I felt could be through the act of pretending to write or relating it to another person to divert the mind off the source of fear but keep it focused on the elements that scare. I agree with you.