Sunday, June 19, 2011

Laughing Prohibited at the K.B.R. National Park, Hyderabad

This one made me laugh out loud. I buy entry tickets each time I go to KBR Park and retain them because they carry a friendly suggestion asking you to retain and show the tickets on demand. On demand? Could you not request? Why this anger and aggression? Will you come on horses and point guns at me and demand to see my ticket? Would you shoot me if I fail to produce on demand? Is there a time limit within which to produce the ticket upon demand or off with my head?

Preoccupied completely with preserving the ticket and keeping it handy for production upon demand by officials who might jump out of the trees, from behind bushes or from under the grass, I never really turned the tickets over to read the Divisional Forest Officer's more detailed and a more friendly message at the back of the ticket. These rules were even more intimidating. Among the more interesting ones were the following.

2) Laughing and making noises inside the National park individually or in groups is prohibited. 

Now someone must have figured that apart from the laughing clubs (which they have been trying to discourage from laughingly artificially for a long time) other people have also caught this contagious disease. How dare these people laugh, individually or collectively, in our National Park? Maybe the Forest officials suspect that the laughers are actually plants of the fake-laughter clubs and sometimes sneak in to plant bouts of individual laughing by themselves in the park. Hence the clear directive that no matter what, you cannot laugh in groups or even individually. If you feel like laughing, you may go outside the park and roll on the road, for all we care. Here, please walk around with a face devoid of all semblance of laughter, or stuff your mouth with something if you feel the urge. There are laughter detectors here who catch you at the first hint of a smile and haul you off to court!

3. Entry into the Conservation Zone is strictly barred.
I have been going to the KBR Park for almost 20 years now. I have never seen a board that says 'Conservation Zone'. Maybe I missed it. I shall keep a sharp eye for this zone tomorrow. Or did they mean 'Conversation Zone'. That would be more in keeping with their no laughter policy. No talking either.

4. Keep to your left and give way to others
I did not understand this really. Keep to the left of the path is fine, but keep to 'your' left? If I keep to my left would I not be going around in circles? I suspect I might be spinning at the same spot if I follow that particular advise. Now, I have another doubt, if I do for some reason stray to the right, is that punishable?

6) Permit holder is bound by the provisions of the Indian Wildlife (Protection) Act 1972
As with anything else, from traffic rules to our basic rights, taxation to wildlife, we have no clue what this Act says, what we can do and what we cannot. But I am assuming that these conditions carry the spirit of the Act. So walk quietly, keep hands to yourself, do not laugh, produce noises, talk and just vanish if you can.

7) Feeding of wild animals in the National Park is an offence
Thankfully the definition of wild animals in the KBR includes some peacocks mainly and I will go with them on this one. But if the place were to host certain wild animals that we normally associate wild animals with, it would be more likely that they would be feeding on us and not the other way round.

Anyway, thank you (keeping the tradition of gratitude intact) Wildlife Management, Hyderabad for making me laugh out loud (outside the park of course). It is always a pleasant experience to walk in the park, with its wonderful greenery, peacocks, great views of sunrise, energetic and happy people, well maintained walks and lawns, nice quotes on tablets inside and the heavenly unpolluted air. I consider KBR to be the the lungs of Hyderabad and I enjoy all my mornings there.

And now I know these conditions, I know that I will walk along with a suppressed smile, cheeks puffed up, from tomorrow onwards!


Rajendra said...

Surprising that there is silence on necking- a popular pastime in many National Parks.

Anonymous said...

I was rolling with laughter .. I loved reading ur blog n I will laugh all fhe same every time I will read it n im gonna read it whenever I feel like laughing..

Harimohan said...

Thanks Anon. But remember to laugh outside the park.