Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Walking Clubs, Laughing Clubs

Today I saw the epitome of the laughing club. A group of friends who, after their walk, were laughing heartily at the general banter in the group. It was sheer joy to watch. As opposed to the forced, strict and unrelaxed laughing of some of the clubs I have seen. Ah, nothing like a bunch of good friends and hearty laughter to relax the soul.

But while watching this laughing group of friends I also looked around and noticed the other informal groups. The other informal clubs fall under these major heads.

The Self-Righteous Club: This is the group that somehow seems to believe that what they are doing is the right thing and that they are somehow morally superior to the rest. In my park this group is one yoga group that somehow emits the self-righteous vibes, the morally superior vibes. They speak in low, self-effacing tones and beam peacefully at each other as they walk slowly, or rather, glide slowly.

The Block Everyone Club: This is a bunch of rather thick businessmen (I see this club in all parks) who somehow believe that they are best stuck to one another. Consequently they hog the entire width of the path. True to their competitive business nature they do not give an inch and mostly end up banging into someone or another. But they insist on moving like a block, even if it blocks all traffic, with chaps on the fringe running up to cover any gaps like little puppies.

The Resentful Club: This is a separatist group that goes about loudly resenting all that is going on in the world. They are the newspaper readers with their own set of expert comments, all equally morbid. toxic and resentful. They are normally found in some cozy corner of the park from where they have a vantage view point so they can spew their bile on one another.

The Loners Club: Made mostly of boys but then a few girls too, these clubs come to the park to snare some single of the opposite sex. But since they are the types who hope that things ought to happen on their own, they end up being single anyway. They have forlorn looks and are constantly seeking to make eye contact with all and sundry.

The Yelling Club: This club is always yelling at the top of their voices for no reason at all. They are also the type who normally play shuttle or other such games in the park which allow them to yell loudly.

The Land Sharks Club: This club is made up of members who are used to some real estate in the park and believe that they own it since they have been sitting there every day. If anyone sits there by mistake the club members hover around them menacingly. If the newcomers still does not get the message, club members move into close proximity shooting daggers with their eyes, and hint in loud overtones that they better leave soon before blood is spilled.

The Mobile Phone Clubs: This club consists exclusively of people who come to the park to talk on their mobiles. Once they are done with their talk in a couple of hours, they leave peacefully, having exercised their vocal chords or their ears as the case may be. In some cases, there are tears too so the eyes are also exercised.

The Fight Club: This consists of members who are always looking to pick up a fight for no reason at all. Their main reason for coming to the park is to pick up a fight and they will - with the watchman, to fellow walkers, to the chap who issues tickets, the parking lot fellow - anyone.

The Watchers Club: This is a set of members who mainly come to watch others at the club (I belong to this club). A small variant of this club is the bunch who goes to the parks to watch members of the opposite sex only.

I am sure there are some more. Later then.


Rajendra said...

Carry a club and clobber the undesirable ones.

Anonymous said...

A couple more:

The Studied Indifference Club: They are there, but don't want others to be there and pretend like others are not there. Just ignore them and you will ruin their day.

The Clubby Club: They clearly like being around each other, and every moment seems to be filled with joy. Try to be like them and better yet, join them.

The Ukkiri Bikkiri Club: This is a risk-averse group filled with stranger anxiety. They have big eyes, and are alarmed by anyone passing them, by a sudden sound of a pet or a bird, and just appear to be disturbed. Do not disturb them any further.

The hypochondriac honor club: They come to the park wrought with health concerns and leave the park wracked by health concerns, not realizing that the cure for them is in the mind not the body. Tolerate them and be nice.

Harimohan said...

Raja, that's a dangerous precedent to set because I suspect I could belong to one such club.

Anon, thanks for filling in. I thought of the hypochondriac club in a vague way but you put it so nicely. And the others, specially the SI, ukkiri bikkiri club, are hilarious. Laughed my head off. Made my day pal.