The Year in Thought

This has been a year that was very different from any other. I have experienced love and loss before - losing my father in 1984 and my mother in 2002 - but I found this year to be a lesson in both. I experienced intense feelings of love, loss, of loneliness, and for a while I suspect I was borderline depressed. Sleeplessness, unsteadiness, anxiety - stuff that showed and manifested in my body and my work. In my outer world it showed as people going away, not staying in touch, pushing me away, being distant - stuff I know now that is what I was doing to myself or the world. But at that moment you want someone to pull you out - and they do - but the final effort is ours alone.  

I normally look at such drastic changes as things that are changing for the better. A huge pause means that something big is coming - like the ocean recedes and the tsunami comes. I know one has to go through the pause, enjoy it even. 

A look at my state of mind is reflected in the 'thought for the day' blogs - a huge number at 72 with 32 alone in July I think when it was most intense.  Some books and thoughts helped me cope. None more powerful than the book 'Dropping ashes on the Buddha' which continually knocks your mind into a place where there is no attachment, to name or form. 

 'Do not get attached to name and form.'

Another thought that stayed with me and helped was this 

'Don't recall...let go of what has passed

Don't imagine ...let go of what may come

Don't think...let go of what is happening now

Don't examine...don't try and figure anything out

Don't control...don't try and make anything happen

Relax right now...and rest'

 

'Who you are is not your fault, but it is your responsibility.'

'What you hate most in others is what you hate most in yourself.'

'The biggest life hack is to become your own best friend. Everything gets better when you do.'

- Cory Muscara

'Minds are static. Life is not static. (Our stress comes from wanting life to be static)'

'Most of us are after serenity. What we want is peace.'

'As long as the activity of the mind exists, there can be no love.'

'Self-image leads to pain.'

'Those who do not love ask what is the purpose of life. Love can be found in action, which is relationship.'

- JK

'Never forget that money is the means to the world, but not the end of it.'

- Rakesh Jhunjhunwala