I am aware that parts of my life have been compromised by my propensity to fall into victim-hood. I have become aware of the same and would like to come of it this coming year which should add tremendously to my life.
1) Not to perceive slights and turn myself off. Turning off is not participating, shutting myself off, not putting my thoughts forward. (Letting others control the situation and being the victim.)
2) Turning myself off does not help me nor the other person or even the relationship. It only affects my mood and creates a stupid false narrative. (By not turning off I can keep the narrative right)
3) Not expecting others to understand me without my saying it. Say it. Do it. (Like getting mad at the tree because I am expecting the fruit to fall - I can go pluck it)
4) Understand others limitations and get on. Explain where needed. (Catch myself saying 'I expected you to do this' etc and instead say what I want)
5) Stop feeling like I have given more than I should have and the others are not reciprocating. Need to give and receive unconditionally. Don't compare giving to receiving.
6) Stop being passive aggressive. Stop doing things I don't want to and instead do things I want to. By doing things I don't want to I am not helping anyone, least of all, myself.
7) When others do not understand, I will explain in detail if needed. And give them time to understand. Sometimes I could be thinking a few steps ahead of the others and might get disappointed that they are not getting it.
8) Recognise triggers from the past and stop reacting to them. Maybe find triggers to replace them.
9) Stop making narratives out of jokes and get caught in them. Treat a joke as a joke and let it be. Don't use it to stab myself.
10) When upset, express. Do not suppress.
11) Look at what's there in the moment, and not at what's not there. Create more good stuff and stop dwelling on the forgettable stuff.
12) Stop reacting to others. Start acting on my own.
I feel it should help considerably.
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