Sunday, April 27, 2014

Kiss That Frog, 12 Great Ways to Turn Negatives Into Positives In Your Life and Work - Brian Tracy and Christina Tracy Steen

Brian Tracy brings in the analogy of the Princess who kisses a frog and gets a Prince and everlasting happiness. He dwells on the key moment in this book - when she has to make up her mind to kiss the frog - and says that is what we all must all do if we wish to improve our lives. He first figures out that most of us have rather low opinions of ourselves and rightly so and gives us 7 truths to first hold on to.
Collins Business, 168 p, 

1) The 7 Truths About You
  • You're good and excellent
  • You're important
  • You have unlimited potential 
  • You can create your world by your thought
  • You're free to choose your thought
  • You have great destiny
  • You have no limits 
Nice. But we need to start believing those.

Brian dwells a bit on Michelangelo's famous sculpture David and how he always passed that slab of marble lying by the road until one day he got the idea. Then all he did was chip away all that was not David and voila, David appeared out of the rock. So why is this being mentioned here - we are all blocks of marble with Davids inside.

2) Imagine Your Handsome Prince
Fully functional people are  genuinely happy, at peace with the world and themselves, self-confident, positive, personable, relaxed, feeling that they are fulfilling their full potential, grateful, energised, feel terrific. Brian urges us to imagine a magic wand that gives us the power to design our perfect futures - income, family, relationships, health, financial etc. Imagine the perfect world and participate in your life.

3) Look your frog in the face
Face the facts. Be realistic. Deal with reality.
Analyse the situation.
  • What exactly happened?
  • How did it happen?
  • What can be done?
  • What actions will we take now?
Worry Buster
  • Define the situation clearly
  • Look at worst possible outcome
  • Accept it
  • Seek to improve situation 
4) Clear the Ugly Frogs
These are  negative emotions which you must replace with positive ones. Take control of your mind.
"You feel happy to the degree to which you feel in control of your life." Program your mind to be optimistic he says. Use the power of thoughtfulness.
The Law of substitution - says that the mind can deal with only one thought at a time. So each time you are aware of a negative thought replace with a positive thought.
Reframe situations to see the good in them and how they have been beneficial to you and turn the entire world to your side.

5) Drain the swamp
Brian deals with the roots of emotions - justification, identification, hypersensitivity and judgementalism. He feels anger is the core of all negative emotions and leads to blame.
The cure for this - Say 'I am responsible'. Take responsibility for your life. Control your responses.

6) Change the water in your pond
Establish new thought patterns. Here he comes with good and solid prescriptions.
1) Positive affirmations. The rule to make positive affirmations are the 3 Ps (PPP) - Present, Personal, Positive i.e make affirmations in the present tense, make them personal and make them positive.

2) Visualisation - I cannot say how important this one is. Visualisation needs to be Vivid, Intense, seen for a length of time (Duration), and seen often (Frequency). A very powerful tool.

3) Rapid Programming Technique - Use the formula of Verbalise,, Emotionalise, Realise to create the world you want.
For any event you are worried about there is nothing like being prepared. Also he says that there is much power is saying No. When there is a choice go for no.

7) Look for  Lessons
Never complain,, Never explain,
Change your vocabulary to say the right words, to look at the bright side, to adopt zero based thinking, think positively and constructively
Or simply - no regrets, no blame, accept life, think future

8) Leap forward confidently
Keep away from destructive criticism. Do not fear failure, do not fear losing. Leap away.
Brian asks two questions that can give perspective here.

Q1. If you had all the money in the world, what would you do? What would you stop doing? What would you start doing?

Q2. What one great thing would you dare to dream of if you knew you could not fail?

9) Kiss Your Ugly frogs good bye
These are guilt, manipulation and control. Avoid the victim language.
Free yourself from guilt by using these steps.
1) Never criticise yourself
2) Don't criticise anyone
3) Refuse to use guilt on others
4) Refuse to get manipulated by guilt

10) Expect the best from your frogs
Live and learn. Get rid of envy and resentment. Admire instead of envy.

11) Let go of the painful frogs
Let go, forgive
85% of your problems revolve around relationships
Forgive these four groups - parents, others, intimate relations and yourself
Go forth and apologise.

12) 7 Keys to a Positive Personality
  • Positive self talk
  • Positive visualisation
  • Positive people
  • Positive mental food
  • Positive training and development
  • Positive health habits
  • Positive expectations 
In a nut shell the book is about identifying the frogs in your life (negative people and negative emotions), accept that you're a great person, confront negative situations, take responsibility, don't criticise, condemn, blame, accept and like yourself as you are, free yourself from guilt, look for something good in all problems, seek valuable lessons in setbacks and obstacles, treat every person as if she was the most important person in the world, practice the 7 steps.

There is enough content and more to make a difference to your life. 

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