Thought for the Day - The Facade and the Reality Behind

 So we deal with the artificial facade we put up before us because we feel that the real us - the one that is vulnerable and true and honest and is full of good intent and actions that cannot be explained - is not good enough. This facade hides the real us. This is our defense.

The ocean of love behind the wall

Others know it. That's why they attack our weakest part, our wall, our pretence, and that is why we get angry, because they have caught us out. But when we go behind the wall, if we peek there, we find a river of 'I don't knows', 'I don't understand' - the rive of love has no rationale and that is where we find the connection.

We cannot make a connection with the wall. We can fight with it, resent it, create drama but we cannot make a connection with it.

To find that connection, lost or otherwise with another person, look behind the wall, and seek to access that river of love, of uncertainty, and you will make that connection. Do nothing, just hold that thought and things unfold. 

Because, as you seek the pathway to the river of love behind that wall, that facade, you drop your judgments.You are free of judgments and that energy will open up space in that other person too. And the wall opens a bit and a connection is made.

No judgment. Wall comes down.

Being aware of the fact that there is a river behind and we are seeking it is itself enough. 

Our job now, in this lifetime, is to get rid of that front so the river of love is right there, accessible to all. There is no business, no smartness, only love.

Anything that separates us -is not a good idea. Be whole, front and back, Be integrous.

To remove our wall, we give up all gaining ideas. We just are as we are. In that state things are drawn to you with ease. You have no burden to carry. Just receive.

Just float in the river of love. 

Anjali - Daksha's New Head Girl!

 After a week or so of campaigning and speeches and making posters and attending online sessions, Daksha School went to elect its Student Council for 2022. Anjali put in her nomination for Head Girl and as she always does, followed process seriously and ticked off all boxes with utmost diligence. I was not involved in any of the activities but I saw her making posters, practicing her speeches, heard it a couple of times and on a walk, got an update on who was contesting and so on.

Head Girl (middle) in conversation with her cousin

From Friday to Monday was a long wait. She got her vaccination on Saturday and was down with some fever yesterday. Today morning was the day of the results and she was up and about - with no fever. I could hear a bit of what was going on, busy as I was with my column writing. Sometime we peeped into her room to ask what happened and she gave a thums up.

 Head Girl!

Nice. The result is fine but the process was interesting. I asked her if she would grant me an interview and she finally said 'yes'. I am hoping we actually get to do that.

It will be interesting to see how she goes about with her new responsibility and knowing her I know she will do a good job and involve everyone. As always such positions teach you a lot and when she was walking to the shop today evening I detected a slightly more confident air about her. I remember cricket did that to me. I am sure it will add a few layers of confidence and experience to her too.

Congratulations Anjali and wishing you all the very best.  

Meditations - Marcus Aurelius

 Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor wrote these personal musings (161-180 AD). For an emperor he was quite grounded, going by his writings. Sridhar recommended it to me and I bought it some time ago. However the language made it difficult for me to get the flow.

Divided into twelve books, it starts with him putting down thoughts about the good he learned from others - a long list of gratitude or of lessons learned one may say. Then he goes on to write about themes about what a man should do (be a good human), how a man should live (see himself in perspective of the universe and realise how small and inconsequential he is. He talks about how man should do nothing against his will. He comes back to the theme of not having judgment or opinion - and how without those two there will be no right or wrong which is a good place to be in. He tells one not to overthink and to look at everything minus the drama. He says, simplify.

He urges people not to do anything that they have to do  - behind closed doors. This is paradoxical especially for an emperor who might have to do many things behind closed doors! But then we also know that the world is full of paradoxes. He believed the world order is one. That God is one.

Couple of lines

In action, don't procrastinate. In conversation, don't confuse. In thought, don't wander. In your soul, don't be passive or aggressive. In your life, don't be all business.     

Often injustice lies in what you aren't doing, not about what you're doing.

Rage isn't manly. Gentleness and civility is manly.

Maybe, some other time, I will go through it more carefully. But overall I get the sense of what he intended. I agree with Emperor Marcus Aurelius.

Thanks Sridhar.

Thought for the Day - Access the River of Love

 There is a transactional world we put up as a facade - one that has a fake mask, one of insecurity and subterfuge, of taking advantage and gaining. Our dealings with the world are like that. 

Which is also the biggest reason for us to get upset or be affected by all that the world does.

But there is something behind this facade - something common to all of us. A river of love flows behind this facade, this huge set we have created to hide our river of love. Our place where we can be ourselves, honest, vulnerable, not hiding anything. It is this river of love that we show people when we have no 'gaining idea', no need to 'hide', no need to 'control' or 'to be smart'.

That is when we are truly ourselves.

And everyone has this place inside us. We hide it very well. Show it only sometimes.

My realisation today has been that if I can access that part in everyone, in every situation, life would be so easy. I look at people, listen to their words, see situations - and now  think - where is the spot where I can access that river of love in this space.

I need not do anything with that person. I just need to be aware that the river is flowing behind that facade. I need to know that in my own stress-filled and uncertain world, I can access the river of love, let my guard down and not be smart anymore.

I can feel and be fully immersed in that feeling of love, of being secure, of knowing and understanding that we are all the same. We are all taken care of and there is no need to play games. We can just be.  

Look for the river of love behind the wall.

Canteen Fundas - The How of Leadership - Productivity

How to be more productive - first things first! 

https://www.edexlive.com/opinion/2022/jan/05/e-canteen-fundas-nailingyour-teams-vision-is-fine-but-how-do-you-achieve-it-is-the-real-question-26694.html

E-Canteen Fundas: Nailing your team's vision is fine, but how do you achieve it is the real question


Leadership will be judged by concrete results so figure ways to improve productivity. Your productivity improves when you identify what is important and do that first

‘We’ve got our team vision and values sorted, bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘Now we’re waiting for results.’

‘Should we just wait for results?’ asked Rahul and added, ‘Or do something about them?’

‘As a leader, you will be judged only by the results you produce — clear, tangible results,’ said Rakesh. 

‘So far, you have set course for long-term results — a worthy ‘why’ that gets everyone believing in something bigger than themselves and a team culture that binds the team together. But for results in the short term, you must know how to use the other ‘how’ of leadership — how to achieve results efficiently.’

‘I am all ears, bhaiyya,' said Rinku and asked, ‘How can we increase our efficiency? I thought once we tell the team what to do, they will start working and work gets done.’

‘People may work hard, but being more productive is all about being more efficient,’ said Rakesh. ‘Firstly, understand that humans do the minimum required — they do not push themselves to the limit. For example, how much of your potential do you think you are using?’

‘Maybe 70-80 per cent, bhaiyya,’ said Rahul confidently.

‘Actually closer to 10-20 per cent’ said Rakesh laughing. ‘Management gurus aver that by doing things right, we can achieve 10 times of what we are achieving now, with the same resources. Which means that most of the time, we work very hard and use up a lot of time and energy yet end up with low results. So, let’s discuss how to make your efforts count through established productivity concepts.’

‘What are they, bhaiyya?’ asked Rinku.





‘Firstly, Stephen Covey’s mantra of ‘first things first’ which means — do what’s important first,’ said Rakesh. ‘One big reason why we are less efficient is because we spend a lot of our time doing unimportant things. So it’s very important to first figure out what's important. For example, a good woodcutter spends a lot of time sharpening his axe which is the most important thing for his efficiency. If you don’t sharpen your axe and work very hard with a blunt axe, your efficiency is bound to be low, right? Your results are all about how you handle the important things.’

‘Wow, why would we not do what’s important, bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul. ‘Doesn’t make sense.’

‘Sometimes, we may not know what is important and need to be told,’ said Rakesh. ‘Another reason could be that important things — like setting a vision, values or systems — take a long time to show results. Unlike a social media post where you can derive instant gratification from likes, working on important things produces slow and almost negligible results in the short term. It’s like going to the gym regularly. You may feel like you’ve achieved nothing worthwhile initially, but in the long term, it's important. Doing important things needs awareness and needs to be done in a clear, deliberate manner. A good leader does that.’

‘I have identified the important things for the group, bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘How can I put it into practice?’




‘The Ivy Lee method addresses this,’ said Rakesh. ‘To improve your productivity, make a list of six things to do the next day — in order of importance. Next day, start at the top and do the most important thing first — not what pleases you most or is most entertaining — but what’s most important. Only after it is done, do you go to the next, the second most important and so on. Do not get distracted until your list is completed. If there are any unfinished items, carry them over to the list the next day. If you follow this method, your productivity shoots up because you are doing the most important things first. As simple as that.’

‘But how much does our productivity improve by these methods, bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul.

’Done right, 10 times at least,’ said Rakesh. ‘Once you decide what’s most important, go with its biggest vision and work towards achieving it. The amount of time and energy spent on achieving a big goal is the same that you spend on achieving a smaller goal, so go for a bigger one. That way you stretch all your resources to full capacity and you end up achieving 10x.’

‘Hmm, it appears we are not using all our resources, Rahul,’ said Rinku. ‘Let’s work towards producing great results.’

‘Yes, Rinku,’ said Rahul. ‘Let’s pick the most important tasks to be done that have the largest impact in the long term for the group and focus on doing them first. Let’s cut out all distractions and focus on our priorities.’

‘We’ve already worked on important things like vision and values,’ said Rinku. ‘Now to get other important things done like setting up processes and systems. Let’s sharpen the axe, so to say.’

‘Do that,’ said Rakesh. ‘And you will be surprised at how much you will achieve.’

Pro Tip: Leadership will be judged by concrete results so figure ways to improve productivity. Your productivity improves when you identify what is important and do that first.

Thought for the Day - Are We Living or Escaping Our Lives?

 Life they say is to be enjoyed. To be lived. 

What does it mean to 'live' your life? 

Today I was talking to my young friend Hari who is not yet fourteen and he said casually - sometimes I catch myself thinking what is the meaning of life? Why do we exist? Or something to that effect.

I found it quite interesting. We spoke a little. I think we concluded it like this.

It's like we have this mass of clay that we have been given - our life. We can do what we want with it and enjoy the process or we can just dump it. What we want to do with it is entirely our choice and that's is what it will mean to us anyway. Take your lump of clay, do what you want, and relax.

Living your life is exactly that I guess - living it the way 'you' want. 

Holiday - Movie

 2006. Romantic classic. One of my favs. Anjali hated it. Signs of gen gaps. But I enjoyed watching it again. And am good to watch it again!