Thought for the Day - The Biggest Motivators Are Insults, Jibes and Barbs

The more I think of it, the more I am convinced that most people are motivated to big achievements, expertise, success etc - thanks to some well chosen unkind words, barbs and jibes. People who would have told them that they are no good at this or that, that they can never do certain things etc are sometimes the biggest causes for people to want to prove it wrong, even if it is the last thing in the world. Sometimes they become world leaders because of these barbs.

Movie stars who have been trashed, students who have been told they are worth nothing, poor people told that they are nothing but slaves, racism faced by those who live abroad - you read any biography of a famous person and you see that they are inspired by the sheer hopelessness and the sheer dismissal of their capabilities by someone who himself is not a great model. And from that humiliation, from that utter lack of respect, from that show of complete disregard for another human arises the biggest motivator of all - pride. And once that is stirred mountains move.

No one thing drives anyone to madness, to prove himself than this factor - pride. Trample on it fully, drive him enough to get back and he will come back and prove to you - 'you thought I was worthless, I proved it'. Of course many people choose the easy way out and die when others prick their ego but here lies the key if insult has to be used as a motivator. It should be stinging enough to prick their pride but you must leave enough room for them to want to get back. To prove to you they can do it. It should challenge them, hurt them, lash at their souls day and night that their pride has been violated. Much good can come out of that.

Many use barbs and insults thoughtlessly (they are insensitive by nature) and hurt people - but they actually do them good if the same people gear up and work for it. Some are too harsh that they leave no scope for them to get up and show what they can be really and they can crush the spirit. But most, do just enough to wound the sleeping spirit and that can work wonders. Those are the sweetest hurts that one never forgets. 'I remember someone telling me I was no good at.... I'd like to see his face now.'

Dustin Hoffman and Gene Hackman were voted the least likely to succeed in their acting class. Gene Hackman actually met his tutor from the class when he was working as a doorman in New York as he awaited his big break and the turor said 'See I told you you'd never come to anything.' Muralitharan was called for chucking early in his career and insulted repeatedly and he went on to become the highest wicket taker in the world. There are tons of example here.

It is a cause of anguish no doubt to do it but it is sometimes necessary to wake people up from stupor with some bad medicine if you are a good coach. Normally their current performances are bad enough to accept for them. Make them own it, that you think they cannot do better and they will show that they can.

The key is to do it right. I am reminded of Machiavelli's line which went something like - if you have to insult a person, do it such that it is too light so he ignores it, or that it is too harsh that he is crushed by it. Anything in between, and he will get back at you.

To use this line as a motivator, one must do the middle thing, do just enough so he gets back and shows you his fist and say 'I did it'. You can always smile and say 'Is that all?' and push him further. Then you have done your job as a coach, a motivator. And he or she will always remember in their twilight years how you had goaded them on - with love wrapped in some sharp medicine.

Thought for the Day - How To Go Through Fear

We hear this many times - that the best way to deal with fear is to go through it. Easier said than done. How does one actually do it? Should one close one's eyes and go through it blindly and hope for the best? Should one get it over with quickly by clenching one's teeth? Should one take it step by step, fearing every bit of the way? Should one hold on to something external? This is something that always bothered me. Everyone fears something or the other and our growth lies in overcoming the fears we have. But how does one actually do it.

I have a theory. Fear is something one must go into with eyes open wide. Any other way is harmful and detrimental to the cause and might even set you back. It must be a deliberate and careful, look-fear-in-the-eye act for the best results. That is the first part out of the way.

The actual doing could be this way. While starting the fear ridden job think that you are writing a journal or a diary or a book or a blog. Anything written as a step-by-step guide (the 'How I did It') will require extreme concentration. The book could be for yourself or for anyone else, for someone you love who might go through that experience again like your children. All the points of fear, which actually cause you to close your eyes and numb your mind, will open your mind up because these are the uncertain details you want to know more about to write or recount your experience. You will capture your true feelings about it, your reactions will be careful and deliberate, and you will normally let the experience sink in well. Go through each detail with your mind, you can even talk to yourself, or even talk to the person next to you about the details. It is after all the details, that scare you. Once you get down to seeing them, its easy.

Writing becomes a great tool then to know of so any things. People, places, ideas. Interviews done with your own family will yield so much information about them to you that you can never find even after a lifetime. Try doing interviews with your family members and put it on your blog or your diary. Its a great bonding experience. Or do an interview with someone who troubles you, or makes you uncomfortable. You will see him or her in a totally different light after the interview.

To go through fear is a great thing. Make a list of all things that frighten you and decide to do an article or a blog on each experience. Easy. Now it has a totally different flavour - you are the seeker, not the supposedly 'learned' one who can make mistakes or be like a fool. The seeker can make as many mistakes, ask as many foolish questions as he wants. To be the seeker then, is the best way to be. Like they say - stay foolish, stay hungry. And to win, you must learn to let go.

Srini Alluri - The Man Who Cycled 11,350 kms in 109 days for Humanity

I met Srini Alluri when Sinivas Bulusu, an old acquaintance of mine, called me one day and asked if I would be interested in helping in the writing of a book on a cycling expedition. The person who had undertaken this expedition from London to Srinagar, a distance of 11,350 kms in 109 days, covering 14 countries along the way, was Srini Alluri, the 38 year old CEO of a software company Sandhata.com and a friend of Srinivas. The stats he reeled off shook me up and I wondered why anyone would do such a thing. I can understand cycling long distances over a long period of time as an exploratory trip but 11,350 kms in 109 days is almost 100 kms a day! It was when saw the 'cycling for humanity' site and blog (http://www.cyclingforhumanity.org/) that it struck me that this incredibly demanding and dangerous adventure had a purpose. But I had to know more because this was not just about cycling nor about the awareness - there seemed to be much more. It all seemed to centre around Srini's NGO www.manavata.org' which is Telugu for 'Humanity'.

So I coaxed the highly efficient and competent Gowri Bhavadas who does a wonderful job of writing to take up the project of helping with the writing and promised to help her to the extent that I can. I was pretty keen on knowing more about Srini which is one reason why I went along with Gowri for the first meeting - one to assess the job and two to learn more. In a sparse, low key office that works out of a residential building sat Srini, who at first sight looks like a cyclist, because of his thin frame, certainly showing the after effects of the arduous journey he had undertaken not too long ago. But he is incredibly alert, almost hawk-like, very healthy and energetic. He is also very polite, has a boyish smile and is of an indeterminate age. As his office, so is Srini, as he dresses in spartan clothes, serves water in steel glasses, does not use electricity any more than required and so on. He cycles to work.

For someone who comes from Lolla, a small village in East Godavari district, and born to parents who were farmers, Srini has come a long way. And if one hears him, one knows that he has a long way to go too - such are his ambitions, ideals and goals. Brought up on the ideals and wisdom of his parents, books like the Gita, Mahabaharata and Ramayana, young Srini learnt yoga, the right way of living and decided to put his life to good use. His purpose - to serve others, to make people live the 3H way (healthy, happy and harmonious), to make people aware of living in harmony with one another and with nature. He helped his parents, studied, served others and did all his duties to the best he could from a young age, not accepting any limitations. Not for him time wasting activities such as movies and loitering around - he was fully focused on making this a better world. At a tender age of 16 he started his organization 'Chaitanya Bharathi Youth Association' in his village and took up social work like building a bus shelter, getting hand pumps for water and so on. The activities carried on into other areas. Srini completed his B.Sc. Electronics and MCA from Ramachandrapuram and came to Hyderabad where he became an expert programmer. Jobs, setting up his own firm Advanced Computer Solutions (ACS) now managed by his younger brother Prakash, more jobs, exposure and then his second firm Sandhata.com, which is based in the UK as well, travel round the world professionally - nothing swayed him from the original passion - to serve others. So continued his NGO manavata.org which now boasts of 7000 members in 11 countries, spreading awareness about the 3H way of life.

The journey had a few small precedents or trial runs. Srini did smaller cycling expeditions - Bangalore-Hyderabad, Udaipur-Mumbai and other smaller ones (he alwasy cycled to school college and to work and still does) but he decided to do something that would touch almost 2.5 million people (based on the thought that one takes 2.5 million breaths in 100 days!). So the big one. 500 volunteers got involved, arranged 500 events along the way, as Srini started from London on June 25, 2011 and traversed through a route that was to originally go through UK, France, Germany, Serbia, Slovakia, Belgium, Luxemburg, Austria, Slovakia, Hungary, Serbia, Macedonia, Greece, Turkey, Iran and Pakistan before entering India. He hoped to create awareness and bring a positive change in the attitude of the common man, to integrate like-minded people for a humanitarian cause and to motivate youth towards social responsibility. Apart from cycling there were charity events, health &environmental awareness, medical camps, planting of at least 1,00,000 saplings, personality development sessions in universities and volunteering with regional charities.

Before the journey Srini spoke to many experts who had undertaken such long journeys before and that included Mark Beaumont (author of ‘The Man Who cycled the world), John & Selly, Jon Slade who had cycled Alaska to Mexico last year. The bike he chose was a Daws Galaxy touring cycle with 27 gears. It is a fascinating experience as one can read in his blog cyclingforhumanity - lonely rides, unfriendly terrain, harsh weather, hilly terrain and so many more issues. And tales of humanity reaching out for him, the warmth of people, strangers, cyclist whom he met travelling the world like him, animals, hosility - its wonderful stuff. But driven by his burning need to make a difference to humanity (you must meet him to understand how deeply he believes in his cause and purpose, I have not seen anyone who has such high standards for himself), Srini pushed through the journey on time. Unfortunately due to Pakistan not giving the VISA he had to stop at Iran, fly to Thiruvanantapuram and take up the second leg of cycling from Kanya Kumari to Srinagar. Total distance covered - 11,350 in 109 days.

It is probably typical of Srini that this event did not get the publicity it could have got but I am amazed at what a man can do if he believes in a higher purpose. I am amazed and inspired at his single minded focus to serve humanity. 'Cycling is not a passion,' he says simply. 'It is just a means of transport that I use to spread awareness.' His day starts at 430 a.a. with yoga and meditation, his NGO runs three ashrams with orphans and the disabled, he conducts Personality Development Programs regularly, plans to plant 10,000 saplings, adopt 500 villages, conducts blood donation camps and oh so many more. Whatever he does in his life, and I think Srini has aready done a lot, will make a big impact as he works in rural areas a lot, Srini Alluri, you are doing a magnificent job and I wish you the very best in this long journey and hard route you have chosen. If anything, you have inspired me to adopt the 3H lifestyle, perhaps cycle more often and live within my means. Mostly, to serve humanity and live in peace with nature. I will certainly mention your wonderful effort in my talks and of the path you have chosen that we could all emulate. Wonderful work Srini and you can always count on my support for your activities.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg. I am sure there is more to Srini than I have mentioned. I will follow this blog up with more information later.

Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway - Susan Jeffers

Read this interesting book that I had with me for many years now. But it so happened that its time had come and I packed it along with me on my recent trip to Bangalore. Dr. Susan Jeffers, who has been through a lot in her own life, quickly brings up the main issue that fear is what stops us from doing many things in life and thereby stops us from fully living. She also says that everyone feels the fear - only people approach it differently - and thus get different results.

She slots fear into level i, 2 and 3 categories and what we need to concern ourselves with is level 3 which pretty much is - I can't handle it. The biggest fear then is that we cannot handle things and that is what stops us. If we can get to a stage, develop our ability, where we feel that we can handle any thing that comes our way, there would be nothing to fear about! Worth thinking. Just thinking and being in a stage where you tell yourself that you can handle whatever comes up is the biggest way to get past fear.

From affirmations which work on the mind to actually doing little things that help us grow past our fears of failure, success, rejection, Susan Jeffers gives many tools to handle fear. She suggests we are better off pushing through fear instead of being helpless and paralysed by it - which is a sure way of never getting past it. She says we can hold fear to give us pain (helplessness, depression, paralysis) or power (choice, excitement, action).

Susan Jeffers gives many tools and thoughts from various sources as she urges the reader to do everything to get over the fear and find one's true potential. In fact the book goes way beyond what the title suggests - from support groups to a balanced life to saying YES to life as it comes to giving to trusting and loving to a higher purpose, she covers the entire gamut of living a wholesome life itself. It makes a lot of sense and makes one feel all the more empowered and take a few more risks, be a little more alive. Certainly worth a read - it's easy to digest, has clear concepts and is well presented.

Anjali - And the Wibbly Wobbly Air Plane

The return journey from Bangalore to Hyderabad was by Air India, by far my favourite airline for its complete non-intrusive ways. Also the planes always seem slightly bigger and more stable, the hostesses seem experienced and know what to do if there is an emergency and there is always something to eat. All in all it looks very solid and dependable - my kind of an airline.

Anyway this last experience was a bit of a dampener as the large flight had its share of problems - like old buses or old coaches in the railways have. For the first time I noticed that the reading light would not come on and the switch was hanging lifelessly, the button that lets the chair rock back a bit failed to work and I was seated at an odd angle as the chair rocked ominously by on its own, the food was a bit stale, bread and cake, done with at express speed by the hostesses who seemed to be in a hurry to discuss something else. It did look a bit worse for the wear. However on the plus side, the customer support staff at the airport were wonderful young men and women, no frills and all courtesy and service.

Surprisingly Anjali who got a window seat was in good spirits and gazed down and enjoyed the ride. Just as we were approaching the Hyderabad airport after some excruciating drops in altitude when our ears began to whine and buzz and hurt, the airplane decided to rock this way and that. Enough to make seasoned travellers clutch their seats, some to close their eyes and some to start chanting.

We were all a bit tense when in the midst of all the rocking and rolling we heard a chirpy and happy voice. 'It's okay if it (the ride) is not smooth mummy,' said an obviously delighted Anjali. 'I am enjoying myself in this wibbly wobbly airplane.' Struck me then at the irony of it all. If we were on the plane or a merry go round or even a roller coaster, everyone would be forcibly enjoying the same rock and rokking motion by screaming and shouting and whooping instead of chanting etc since w ehad paid for that experience. It was just because we were on a plane that we were all on the complain mode - what kind of an airline, it was shaking and rolling, bad pilots, bad flights, I was almost puking - you know what I mean.

It does take a child to know that it is fun, wherever, that we can enjoy the moment even in a wibbly wobbly airplane and not just in an entertainment park. How often do we realise that the Emperor has no clothes when there are children around!

Metallica In Bangalore

When I first heard that Metallica was to play in Bangalore my first reaction was 'Let's see this'. I listened to Metallica's first big hit album with 'Enter Sandman', 'Nothing else matters'. 'Wherever I may roam', 'The Unforgiven' almost two decades ago as a twenty something and was deeply impressed with it. I had marked out the band as one of those to watch out for and bought the next few albums (then in cassettes) and did not find those encouraging. I gave up, and returned to a life without Metallica. But tribute enough that in my rock playlist on my ipod, Metallica's major numbers have pride of place.

Why go to a rock concert at 40 plus? Because its the best time to go to a rock concert. Anyway between my indecision and the lack of enthusiasm on the part of some other 40+ members (like Kiri who seems to have other forms of adrenaline rushes these days), and then by a few 20+ members too, I gave up. It was only because I had committed to ride with Hari Rao to Bangalore that I went and guess what - a day before I run into Anirudh who says he has a spare ticket and hands it to me. I was set.

Why is 40+ the best time to go for concerts? Because you can do it in a more relaxed fashion. I remember the time we went for the Roger Waters show and the Bryan Adams show we were there when the gates opened at 3 p.m. Which meant that we were in the main arena at 430 or 5 and then waited longer for the first act to come and then another and then finally the main act at 8 p.m. and we were standing almost 7 hours or more. This time I was prepared. I watched the F1 action on the television and loved it. And at 6 p.m. I set out to the Palace Grounds thanks to my host Rajesh who offered to drop me.

One could see youngsters in black t shirts snaking their way towards the Palace Grounds. I hopped off outside the gate from Rajesh's car and walked in. Lots of twenty somethings were all going in. I saw some fake lines (queues) that had fooled me earlier and this time I decided to go to the next entry point to check. As i suspected there were no queues. It is amazing how we never queue up when there is a queue and how we queue up when there is none. Just the fact that there were so many people seemed to have made some people queue up on their own. Anyway, we moved in past the first point, then the second and then we were in. About twenty people checked my pants pockets, none checked the jacket I was wearing and none checked the shoes where everyone who goes to concerts conceals the booze, cigarettes and other agricultural produce one requires for concerts. But it was thousands of black t shirts - 90 percent in the 18-25 age group (where did they get the money, the ticket was Rs. 2750), some in the 30-40 and 1 % in the above 40 crowd. But all, toddlers to the seventy year old I saw, were dancing and swaying.

The early rain caught everyone by surprise but I had come prepared with a jacket that saved me a bit and I hung on to the barricade at the end of the first section. The ground was split into three - the first for the completely young and crazy, the second for the ones who want a bit of a space but also a view of the stage and the third who want to sit or lie down and listen to the music or see that videos on the big screens. An English group played and then the rain went away. I could see youngsters totally smashed, some reeking of alcohol, some who were already out before the concert. The sweet smell of agricultural produce stuffed into cigarettes hung about like a cloud all through and one would get high just being there and inhaling it. Metallica came on at 8 p.m. after an elaborate arrangement to ensure safety of the fans.

Once they came on it was all mayhem as the decibels grew to a level that hit you hard in the gut, the music soared to another level. Hetfield, Ulrich, Kirk Hammett on the guitar and Robert Trujillo played out 'Nothing else matters', 'Wherever I May Roam' , 'Enter Sandman', 'For Whom the Bell Tolls' , 'Seek and Destroy' , 'Master of Puppets' , 'Of Wolf And Man' , 'Creeping Death' , 'Cyanide' and some songs I did not get. They performed energetically, non-stop for two hours. The erupting flames at the back stage were about the only visual aid they took recourse to and the fireworks in the sky at another time. Apart from that and moving to the elevated stage the band stuck to playing music that they expressed best without any aids. I left at 10, after a good two hours of thorough enjoyment, when the band was playing some cover versions to those groups that inspired them, and carefully made my way out of the muck and mud.

Looking around one could see that a few fans knew all the songs but a majority had no clue of the songs, not even the popular numbers. But they had a good time, you cannot not have a good time with such an elaborate show and such a big group, despite the rain. There were a couple of magic moments when the crowd got into the act and sang for a full five minutes compelling Hetfield to genuinely exclaim - Bangalore I love you. There were 1000 police they say, for a crowd that was in excess of 20000, by far the largest I have seen.

Though there were some of my friends in the crowd I decided to watch it myself. And that was a good decision because I enjoyed watching the show by myself, ensconced by a group of youngsters who were a joy to watch as they sang every song, one girl in particular, enjoying herself to the exclusion of everything else. My only problem was that apart from their big classics I had not heard much so about half the songs were unknown. But then Metallica also does not have such a big body of work, good work, so no complaints. But they were professional, highly energetic and had the crowd eating out of their hand.

People in all kinds of attire, of all ages, of all sizes and shapes, foreigners, Indians, music lovers, fun lovers, old people dancing, young people screaming, the energy was infectious. One must go to concerts for just that. To get a dose of life. I guess I will make it to other concerts as well.

Hyderabad to Bangalore in Six and a half hours

I have had the pleasure of going to Bangalore last year by a Volvo bus and it took me to Bangalore in 6 hours or so - 11.30 p.m. was take off at Lakdi-ka-pul and we were at the Hebbal flyover at 530 a.m. - a break for dinner thrown in between. Though I eulogised the wonderful ride in my blog then, I slept through most of it and had no clue what the road was like. I had a chance to correct that last Saturday when my friend Hari Rao, the maker of the most wonderful biryanis and kebabs and panneer, and I decided to drive down to Bangalore in his Verna.

At 545 a.m. we left my place, and zoomed down the Bangalore highway and stopped at a joint that came up barely an hour from the Shamshabad airport. It was a new place but nicely done and serving some hot stuff pretty early in the morning. One can't miss it; it's the best joint in the whole road now with a car embedded into its front. Hillridge or something like that.

Lots of parking, easy to turn into, good food, service, clean loos. Some coffee and vadas (huge ones) and we were back on the road. Another stop after Kurnool for tea and that was it. We were at Hebbal flyover by 1 p.m. The road was smooth as butter. We averaged 100 and 120 max and never more. Several cars zoomed past at high speeds and we lost sight of them pretty soon.

The drive is fantastic. the road is four laned all through and has a huge divider in between, with plants and trees that protect you from the lights of oncoming vehicles. There are several breaks in the road for traffic to crossover and that is the one you need to watch out for. Ideally stick to the left side lane so you avoid any surprise springing out of the break like autos, two wheelers etc. The countryside was green and pleasant. However the toll is expensive and you end up shelling up a lot (close to 500 bucks I'd think) on various tolls in the car/jeep category.

If you have the time, Hyderabad and Bangalore is best by road. A good car and you could even beat the time that a flight would take.