Five things I believe about love
1) That love is not about possession, it is about seeing the person you love grow to their highest potential, do what they love doing, and being supportive about it. (And in that process, if required, giving up what may be best for you - for the person you love.)
2) Love is selfless, about placing the other person ahead of you, thinking for them, being thoughtful in every way - to me thoughtfulness is the best expression of love
3) Love is sacred, inviolable, it is about respect, gentleness, care, understanding
4) Love is about actions (not flowery words or empty, grand gestures), about promises kept, about showing up, about being there so that the other person knows you are there for them, egging them on, even if you do not subscribe to their choices
5) Love is about giving yourself up wholeheartedly, and if circumstances demand it, giving up your life for the person you love if its best for them
Five reasons for writing 'If You love Someone'
1) To explore the idea of love as I understand it - that Aditya can give up what he knows is the greatest love he can ever hope to find, giving up the one person who totally gets him because he feels it is in her best interest - (and in doing so gives up a chance to heal himself - he chooses the harder route)
2) To explore the idea that a man and a woman can share such love - platonic, innocent and divine – with great understanding, compassion, love - something which most people do not seem to find in most relationships.
3) The idea that a man and a woman can trust their bond/love enough to give it all up for thirty years - to explore and grow as individuals - a grand, naive experiment that can go completely wrong and turn into a lifelong regret, or give a great reward of having explored each other's destinies fully without burdening each other
4) To explore the idea that women tend to lose themselves in their marriages and are rarely allowed to fulfill their potential unless the husband separates, or dies (the number of women who do justice to their potential after separating is evidence). Meghna falls into the trap, gives up her job to help her husband and finds herself regretting it. And while there, to inspire a thought for women, to keep themselves first and not get subsumed or lost in unsupported, unfulfilling relationships and marriages.
5) To explore the idea that a man and a woman can meet as adults - at fifty - without judgment, social conditioning, just as friends who share something beautiful between themselves. When asked by her husband if she will return, Meghna is forced to give an honest answer and she says - 'I don't know'. In a perfect world she need not wait for Pankaj to die to claim her life or freedom, and she can retain her choice of coming back or not, without guilt, shame or judgment.
1) That love is not about possession, it is about seeing the person you love grow to their highest potential, do what they love doing, and being supportive about it. (And in that process, if required, giving up what may be best for you - for the person you love.)
2) Love is selfless, about placing the other person ahead of you, thinking for them, being thoughtful in every way - to me thoughtfulness is the best expression of love
3) Love is sacred, inviolable, it is about respect, gentleness, care, understanding
4) Love is about actions (not flowery words or empty, grand gestures), about promises kept, about showing up, about being there so that the other person knows you are there for them, egging them on, even if you do not subscribe to their choices
5) Love is about giving yourself up wholeheartedly, and if circumstances demand it, giving up your life for the person you love if its best for them
Five reasons for writing 'If You love Someone'
1) To explore the idea of love as I understand it - that Aditya can give up what he knows is the greatest love he can ever hope to find, giving up the one person who totally gets him because he feels it is in her best interest - (and in doing so gives up a chance to heal himself - he chooses the harder route)
2) To explore the idea that a man and a woman can share such love - platonic, innocent and divine – with great understanding, compassion, love - something which most people do not seem to find in most relationships.
3) The idea that a man and a woman can trust their bond/love enough to give it all up for thirty years - to explore and grow as individuals - a grand, naive experiment that can go completely wrong and turn into a lifelong regret, or give a great reward of having explored each other's destinies fully without burdening each other
4) To explore the idea that women tend to lose themselves in their marriages and are rarely allowed to fulfill their potential unless the husband separates, or dies (the number of women who do justice to their potential after separating is evidence). Meghna falls into the trap, gives up her job to help her husband and finds herself regretting it. And while there, to inspire a thought for women, to keep themselves first and not get subsumed or lost in unsupported, unfulfilling relationships and marriages.
5) To explore the idea that a man and a woman can meet as adults - at fifty - without judgment, social conditioning, just as friends who share something beautiful between themselves. When asked by her husband if she will return, Meghna is forced to give an honest answer and she says - 'I don't know'. In a perfect world she need not wait for Pankaj to die to claim her life or freedom, and she can retain her choice of coming back or not, without guilt, shame or judgment.
...
Good questions. And it felt good to revisit a project, I cherished.
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