So we have a dilemma or a dramatic situation every other day. Friends, teachers...well too much to handle. Now there is a Diwali meal coming up. Only thing is Anjali's oldest pal and associate at school has been Mansi with whom she plans all her stuff and with whom she has been doing things forever. So Mansi and she have decided to put up a dance show this time and prepped for it. But then there is close pal Divya and another pal Brahmani, so how to accommodate them all.
'I don't think I want to dance,' said Anjali.
'But there are only three days left?' I said. 'What will you do? Will you do the bookstall like last time?'' (They had run a second-hand bookstore last year which was a huge hit)
'But if I say I won't do the dance Mansi will get upset?' she said, all hassled.
'If it matters to you that she may get upset then go ahead and do the dance,' I said.
'Then what about me?' she said. 'What about my like and my dislikes? I should take care of myself right?'
'Absolutely,' I said.
'Then you should tell me to do what I want to do,' she told me. 'It's your responsibility to tell me to take care of myself first.'
Oops. I get what she was saying. She cannot make up her mind and I was supposed to give her a little push across the line with what was right for her. Not a vague suggestion like I had given.
Point to remember. When someone who is in a moral dilemma seeks advise, consider the delicacy of their position and their uncertainty. Understand that even if they are offering to do something against their will, they are looking at you to tell them that it's ok to do what they want to do. Push them over the line because that is the right thing to do and that is what they want. Don't add further to their dilemma!
That is our responsibility.
'I don't think I want to dance,' said Anjali.
'But there are only three days left?' I said. 'What will you do? Will you do the bookstall like last time?'' (They had run a second-hand bookstore last year which was a huge hit)
'But if I say I won't do the dance Mansi will get upset?' she said, all hassled.
'If it matters to you that she may get upset then go ahead and do the dance,' I said.
'Then what about me?' she said. 'What about my like and my dislikes? I should take care of myself right?'
'Absolutely,' I said.
'Then you should tell me to do what I want to do,' she told me. 'It's your responsibility to tell me to take care of myself first.'
Oops. I get what she was saying. She cannot make up her mind and I was supposed to give her a little push across the line with what was right for her. Not a vague suggestion like I had given.
Point to remember. When someone who is in a moral dilemma seeks advise, consider the delicacy of their position and their uncertainty. Understand that even if they are offering to do something against their will, they are looking at you to tell them that it's ok to do what they want to do. Push them over the line because that is the right thing to do and that is what they want. Don't add further to their dilemma!
That is our responsibility.
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