The Paradoxes of Our Lives - To Be Vulnerable Is To Be Strong

Only the truly strong can show that they are vulnerable.

It is the weak who need to prove that the are strong. Who hide their vulnerable side.

To show your weakness and still take on the enemy is the mark of great strength

The Paradoxes of Our Lives - Emptiness Needs, Fullness Gives

It is the empty who need. It is the content, who give.

The content can exist happily in any state, with or without possessions. The empty need possessions to fill their emptiness.

The fully content receive and give with grace. The empty grab and hoard.

Thought for The Day - The Need For Kindness

If there is one human trait that we need to see more of and live more of, it is kindness. We need acts of kindness, more of them, every day, every hour. We need it because we need to overwhelm this unfortunate need to hoard, to grab, to fill our emptiness. If there is really one emotion that can touch deeply and make a man cry, it is probably kindness.

In my life I look back and I think that it is the acts of kindness that always got me. Some acts were such that i could not recognise them when hey happened to me. Some were overt. Some I witnessed as a third person. Poor people, hungry people, little children, weak and powerless, women - they all find the strength in them to find kindness easily. It is the supposedly stronger who don't have the strength to be kind.

Kindness is the trait of the strong. It takes strength to show your vulnerability.

Kindness is subtle. It is not dramatic. It is understated. It could be a touch. A smile, A quiet word. A gentle act. It requires an opening of one's heart. It requires the strong to be vulnerable. And in being vulnerable, they show they are strong. It's powerful as the wind, the elements. Kindness is beyond giving, beyond material things - it is the fully loaded emotion that holds the other person who is on the edge, on thee verge of collapsing.

More kindness. Look to be kinder to all around you. Your loved ones first because we are harshest on them. Then everyone else. Watch the tone of your voice. Watch the hardness in your eyes. Watch the violence in your act. Watch the harsh edge in your thought. Be aware of the suspicion, the insecurity, the fear that drives you.

Let go. Kindness is all about letting go of all the fear, the negativity. I is about giving your all. It is love in action. Speak kindly. Look kindly, Think kindly, Act kindly.

Smile. Call. Hold, Pat, Support. Give. It is probably the most freeing emotion of all.

Sachin and the 200th Test

It's already been blown beyond proportion. He has already said that he is not bigger than the game. However it is like religion. There are many out there who are willing to tell god what he really meant when he walked the earth - they know better you see. They also know that by twisting their version they can make an extra buck.

If there has to be a celebration to mark his exit, it needs to be handled in a manner worthy of the man. He led himself quietly, modestly and in an understated manner for all these years. Let the celebrations, at least the official ones, reflect the same class and leave a smile on his face, a memory that makes his long journey worthwhile. For that of course you need people of class and I wonder where you will find that rare species in this arena. I do hope they get involved before they make a tamasha out of it all.

Sachin had to retire sometime or the other. But from what I see in the papers many people are almost saying they will stop their televisions or give up watching cricket after Sachin. I hope they regain some perspective and get on with their lives. He will. And that is where we need to focus on.

It is not so much about the fans as about Sachin himself that one must train the thoughts to. He will find this the toughest phase of his life. To consciously step of an arena to which he devoted more number of hours than most have, to give up something that has been his lifeblood for all these years, is simply a frightening prospect.  The silence, the solitude, the quiet will take some time to get used to. And this is where one feels the most for Sachin.

Many super stars have become recluses after retiring. But I have a feeling Sachin may not go out of public eye. He would make a wonderful teacher, speaker. One would certainly urge him to read, write and share more. A Ph.D. in sports excellence won't be a bad idea. He certainly can use his wonderful brand equity as an achiever to influence the youth on the route to excellence, not merely the fruits of it on which the young can get addicted to.

Of course business can also be as heady as cricket, but it has limited returns in terms of love, satisfaction and contentment. The most satisfying avenue is public service whichever way he chooses to take to it. That is the way to finish what he began and become a true hero for his country.

 

The Value of a Human Life

I was deeply distressed by the accident on the Hyderabad Bangalore highway that claimed 45 lives. The bus, the processes involved regarding passenger safety both from the operators point of view and the concerned department's point of view, the design of the road - everything needs to be questioned. The helplessness of the passengers who died needlessly must be taken up and all the concerned parties questioned thoroughly and issues raised. The passengers trusted all the above parties to take them home safely - the bus operator, the government, the highway design - and pretty much everything let them down.

Because a few days after, life goes on as usual in our country. After the initial blame, throwing up hands at fate or human error things go back to normal. No officials are pulled up, no bus operators punished, no contractor questioned.

Is the driver the only one to blame? Not really. He is only the smallest pawn in the story.

The next one to be questioned would be the bus operator. How was the driver allowed to control everything on the bus? How was he driving without a second driver? Who checks whether he is in a condition to drive or not? How come he has extra passengers on the bus? Whether safety norms inside the bus have been followed or not? Would you be allowed to operate buses after such an accident? What about emergency exits? What about emergency procedures as in air planes? Where are the hammers?

The next in line would be the concerned government department. Why are the motor vehicles staff who are so efficient at pulling up all and sundry during the day so blind at night? How come they have no idea of buses travelling at demonic speeds on that highway at night? I once made it in a Volvo in six hours or under between Hyderabad and Bangalore. This was waiting to happen. Is the bus design fine? Is the process involved fine? Who checks on drivers? What are the penalties? Who takes the hit now since this has happened? How come the department is so quiet?

Somewhere at the top one must question the very design of the road. Why is there no bigger set off near the culvert? How come there is no extra precaution just in case?

Every single one of the above and perhaps more have let down the passengers.

No point in throwing up their hands and blaming fate. If it is fate we are trusting, we don't need you. We need you to take responsibility for every single life. Everyday we see accidents on the ORR and I am sure much shrugging must be going on.

Dive around the city and look at the number of potential death traps that are out there on the road. The roads in the city, the dividers, the blind turns, the potholes, the open drains, the dark and unilluminated barricades at RTC bus stops, the Metro works, vehicles with protruding steel rods, autos that carry 8 people and drive recklessly around, and the many other horrifying death traps set up by half-baked jobs, zero-thought procedures and monitoring that the people who put them up do makes one wonder when they will wake up. How come they think so lightly of human life? How come every single injury, every fall does not hurt them? How can they not feel that their inefficiency, negligence and gross dereliction of duty sometimes can kill so many innocents who trust them to do their job?

How come we chug on oblivious to the truth. How come there is so little value for human life. It should be one of the highest priorities of the government - to value a human life and create conditions that add more value. If there was value for human life, the government would be on its knees begging forgiveness, amending things, making the roads safer. But no, its relegated to another statistic. Another accident. Another injury. Another death.

Too bad boss some would say. How can we use this situation to our advantage? Who is the one who needs a favour now? How can we twist the rule to make it all worthwhile?

By not asking or raising a voice against this slow death, this apathy, we encourage such responses from people responsible. Responsibilities come with a price - if you cannot handle it, you pay the price. It is time everyone in the chain was help to their responsibility, the blame fixed and the guilty punished. It is time we start valuing every single fall, every single injury, every discomfort and death that happens in public domain. It is after all the very purpose that we have a government.

Thought for the Day - The Link Between Happiness and Decision Making

Much of happiness lies in taking the decisions that run your life. Take decisions that you want on an everyday, every hour and every minute basis. That should change things a bit.

(Or go to the other extreme and let go. Let life go where it wants and flow with it.)

Since the second option is rather tough where we are currently situated - it is recommended that for a complete dose of happiness YOU take decisions that lead you to your happiness. Tea or coffee or nothing, go out or stay at home or go for a walk, go on a vacation or go on a trek or just stay up watching movies through the weekend. Go with what you want.

Don't get stuck in between decisions taken by someone else and what you want - because such a situation is bound to make you unhappy. For one you have no control over the outcome and two, you only get to blame. Either way it adds stress, fat, grey hair and frown lines.

Decide. Fast and every time. Say it. Hone the intuition. Act on it. Go for it. As often as you can. Yes or No.

Ask yourself - what would make me happy - and decide in pursuit of that happiness. Decide and go with it. It will pay off sometimes, it might not - but at least its your decision. You can be happy in that knowledge. And in the surprises it brings.

Thought For The Day - What You Are Talking About Is What's Bothering You

Think about it. If you are talking about something, or feel the need to defend your position on it, it needs attention. It's what they call an 'issue'. A chip on the shoulder.

An ogre?

All other things do not bother you. You 'know' your stand with them and feel secure. It is with the things where you are on uncertain ground that we need more clarity. So we write, talk and defend.

A great example I heard on this. Will you react if someone calls you a purple pig? Not many of us would because we are certain we are not that. We are secure. A pig? It has its connotations and it might bother some of us because we are worried we may have some characteristics of the esteemed pig. Issues can then crop up - why do you call me a pig? I am not. In fact you are a pig etc.

The solution (as Eckhart Tolle says) is to accept the issue, with all its inherent deficiencies. As one would their own progeny. Then we stop talking, defending. (Yes, I am a pig, purple or whatever, if that is what you can see! Thank you for your contribution.)

The issue really is with feeling a gap between perfection and you. But to get back to our issue, watch out for that behavior first.

As Colin Tipping, author of Radical Forgiveness says, "If you spot it, you got it". Brilliant,