Wednesday, April 3, 2013

A Note On Trust - Applicable to Leadership

I found this note on trust in my papers and I could never throw it away. It seems pretty comprehensive and most of it is applicable to a good leader. After all much of leadership depends on the trust that the captain can demand of his team.

Take the four elements of trust - Reliability, Acceptance, Openness and Congruence. Apply them to your relationships.

Three out of four is not enough. All four are necessary to build lasting, ongoing relationships. It often takes time to build trust. Unfortunately, it takes only an instant to destroy it.

Reliability 
  • Taking action
  • Keeping promises
  • Meeting deadlines
  • Being on time
  • Following up
  • Delivering
Acceptance
  • Respecting another's point of view
  • Being empathetic
  • Being non-judgmental
  • Listening
  • Allowing mistakes
  • Accepting limitations
  • Trying not to change other people

Openness
  • Obligation to dissent
  • Clarifying expectations
  • Being willing to hear what others have to say
  • Being honest about limitations
  • Being straightforward
  • Telling people how you feel; what you think and believe
  • Having no hidden agendas
 Congruence
  • Talking straight
  • Not playing games
  • Being sincere
  • Setting boundaries
  • Making rules clear
  • Walking the talk
  • Not being too kind
I thank whoever wrote this and acknowledge the anonymous source. As of now the source remains anonymous to me (I am unable to trace the source as I only have one scrap of paper with me) and am sharing it because I think it is knowledge that might be of great help.

Amores Perros - Movie Review

Another Mexican film , this one from Ram's collection, from the director of Babel, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu. Three stories collide in a car collision and fuse the movie together. Two young men running away from a stabbing scene with their wounded prize fighter dog crash into the car of a super model. One of the boys dies, the driver is severely injured and the model breaks several bones. At the same time a vagrant man walking his dogs comes upon the accident scene and moves in ostensibly to help. The accident changes the course of all the lives and more.

The first story is that of two brothers who live in a house of violence and deceit. The older one is married but is always looting or getting into fights and abusing his wife. The younger one loves his sister-in-law and tells her to run away with him. The two have an affair. Needing money to run away the younger one fights his dog in dog fights. The dog turns out to be a champion fighter winning him much money and losing much for one of the regular fighters who resents his losses. The younger brother meanwhile gets his brother beaten up, tells the sister in law to come with him and goes for one last fight. Here his enemy loses yet again, but he gets back by shooting the champion dog.  The younger brother retaliates by stabbing the man and gets chased. While escaping he crashes into another car killing his loyal friend.

Th successful owner of a magazine falls in love with a model and leaves his wife and children for her. He moves into a flat with the model. Soon after, the model's dog falls into a hole in the floorboards and cannot be extricated. While the model is out on a drive, her car is crashed into by the dog fighting boys. Her leg gets bad and is finally amputated, the dog is found dead under the floorboards and suddenly several lives fall into pieces. The magazine owner regrets leaving his family.

The third story is that of a vagrant man who moves around with a bunch of dogs and a push cart which he uses to scavenge. His only company is his dogs. We learn that he is actually an ex-guerrilla, now a professional hit man. He however is craving for his daughter whom he has left when she was only two to 'set the world right'. It is while he is stalking his hit that he happens upon the accident, robs the boys in the car and rescues the prize dog which has been shot. He treats the dog and heals it but the dog kills all his other dogs. Given the lucrative job of killing a business associate, he collects money from the party, kidnaps both parties, sells their expensive cars and makes a lot of money. He takes the dog, breaks into his daughter's home, leaves her all the money and a message, and leaves town.

It's all about dogs, love, loyalties and how humans can muck up their lives. But there's lots of blood as the dogs fight, the humans fight, and there is lots of deceit all over. Some live, some die and we don't know why things pan out the way they do. Interesting idea but a bit too dark and gory for me. Second or third Mexican movie, but you know what, I do like their movies in a funny way. They are tragic, real and sort of hopelessly sad.

The Better Man - Anita Nair

This is certainly Anita Nair's best work in my opinion. Having read her novels 'Ladies Coupe', 'Mistress', 'Lessons in Forgetting' and 'Cut Like Wound', apart from her children's stories and other writings I was truly impressed by her perspective, intensity, honesty and depth in this, her first novel. Maybe that's what gets me - how did she write this story from a man's perspective and make it sound so convincing? How does she get so many things right in her first novel? The richness of her language is a given but its the insight into the characters and their motives that make 'The Better Man' a compelling read. Anita explores new paths all the time which is her greatest strength. It could also be her greatest weakness because it could well compromise her in terms of popular awards and recognition. But I'd rather she be this way, boldly exploring new themes in a most unapologetic manner which is what defines her.

Penguin India, 361 p, Rs. 399
'The Better  Man' is based in the village of Kaikurussi in Kerala. Meek Mukundan Nair, who has been and still continues to be under the domineering influence of his father Achyutan Nair, has returned to his village and his ancestral home after retiring from a public sector company in Bangalore. At fifty nine, Mukundan, a bachelor all his life, lives alone, haunted by the death of his mother who had begged him to take her faraway from the tyranny of his father. His father lives on, opposite this ancestral house with his mistress and his second family. With the helpful aide Krishnan Nair for company, Mukundan wonders how to get on with his life in this small village where the biggest events happen at Shankar's Tea Stall and nothing goes without the blessings of Power House Ramakrishnan who has won a lottery and become the richest man in town.

Enter the painter One-screw-loose Bhasi who is eccentric but who is known to have healing powers. Bhasi comes to paint Mukundan's house and ends up being his confidante, drinking partner and healer. Mukundan finds the strength to be the man he could be if he wanted, thanks to Bhasi and his unconventional therapies which include sitting in an urn. As Mukundan finds himself, he also finds love in a married woman's arms, Anjana, respect and possible fame in his acceptance on the village Committee, and starts to fantasise of how he could be a bigger and better man than his father. Caught up in the new found route to power he commits mistakes that only a weak man could, and betrays both his friend and his lover. Will  he find it in him to be a better man than his father and be the man he was supposed to be? Read 'The Better Man' to find out.

Anita Nair effortlessly brings Kaikurrissi alive. You can easily visualise the village, the tea stall, Che Kutty's booze shop, Power House Ramakrishnan's abode and his car, the various men and women who flit in and out of Mukundan's life - Kamban and Philipose, Meenakshi, Anjana and her husband Ravindran, Bhasi and his wife Damayanti. Each one of the characters come alive as multi dimensional people, as real people with real needs, and will certainly influence the way the reader sees a village in Kerala - you cannot escape them once you know them. Anita's language is poetic and adds a richness to the tale that is brilliantly told.

More than the language, the characters and the plot, what impressed me most was the way she addresses a man's deepest fears and feelings directly. It is almost as if the book is talking to you  - and that is what freaks you out because there is a Mukundan, a Bhasi, an Achyutan, a Kamban, a Philipose, a Power House Ramakrishnan and all those others within us - and she pinpoints that aspect in the reader with uncanny precision. How could she go into the unknown folds of the devious mind of men and bring that out I cannot fathom but that she does easily. So many times one feels the lines talking directly, more so when she explores the father-son angle which is always difficult for men. She goes deeper into the psyche of men, the guilt-punishment route, the lure of power and lust, the adulthood they have to contend with even when they have never fully grown up - even as old men.

And it is this feature of her writing, her sensitivity to understand the fears and doubts, the feelings and emotions that lie underneath, and her unbridled boldness to say it as it is with precise language that makes her so different and far superior to many Indian writers. Having read the few Booker prize winning stories from India, I have no doubt that 'The Better Man' easily compares in all aspects. I found it a book that was difficult to put down and despite the absence of in-your-face drama, a compelling story to read on its own which is the icing on the top. You really want to know what will happen to Mukundan and Bhasi finally. A fine read and one that I am sure most men will identify with easily (I don't know why, but I have this feeling that Anita Nair's writings may resonate more with her men readers than her women readers). Having read this, I think I might just re-read the other books as well, just to see how I view them now.  

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Saheb, Biwi aur Gangster Returns - Movie Review

I did not see the prequel to this. But one can soon assume that it is a story of intrigue, love, passion, power and money. Saheb (Jimmy Shergill) is wheel chair bound but is as arrogant as ever. His begum Madhavi (Mahie Gill) is forever drunk and does not give a damn about the saheb. Indrajit Singh (Irrfan Khan) is in love with another feudal's daughter Ranjana (Soha Ali Khan) and is an ambitious gangster who wants to get into the power circles one way or another. That's the set up.

Indrajit has a motive. He wants revenge on Saheb;s family which has wiped out his ancestors and their past glory. All that stand of their past are the ruins of their old palaces. And revenge he wants one way or another. For some reason the invalid saheb wants to marry Ranjana and pretty much kidnaps her from under her helpless father's eyes. Why, I do not know, but he takes her home, parades her to his drunk begum and gets the begum to start thinking of her own survival. The saheb knows nothing of Ranjana's dalliance with Indrajit.

Begum Madhavi finds an ally in Indrajit. Together they plot her rise and rebellion against her husband and in the process become lovers. Ranjana comes to know of this and she betrays Indrajit and Madhavi to saheb - and this betrayal brings the two closer. So now we have all kinds of things going on until Indrajit for some reason decides to take a rather circuitous way out to get back at the saheb - by implicating him in a  murder through circumstantial evidence - one which might not work because saheb has a lot of connections. What then?

Saheb may go to jail and if at all, not for long. Begum will find a way to grow more powerful and she seems secure as she can handle her way through one way or another. The new begum Ranjana has taken to drink. Rather hopeless and bleak in the end. Entertaining but not up there for me because it is all about a bunch of losers. Irrfan Khan is brilliant, Mahie Gill is absolutely fantastic, Jimmy Shergill is as reliable and solid as ever. Worth a look if you're into palace intrigues and stuff like that and if you want to see Irrfan Khan, Mahie Gill and Jimmy Shergill.

Special 26 - Movie Review

Any film by Neeraj Pandey would be worth a watch after 'A Wednesday'. Special 26 has an interesting story line based on a true life incident, of a jewelry heist performed in the most audacious manner in Mumbai in 1987.

Ajay Singh (Akshay Kumar), P.K. Sharma (Anupam Kher), Iqbal and Joginder are a group of conmen lead by Ajay, who conduct fake CBI raids on well-chosen targets who have much to conceal from the authorities. Their first victim is a Minister. The team seeks the help of the local police station for back up and completely fools the police, the Minister and all concerned. Ranveer Singh (Jimmy Shergill) plays the local cop who gets duped with his bunch of assistants. In fact they are impressed at the way the CBI officers conduct the raid. Soon they realise that the CBI officers and the raid were fakes. The red-faced Minister refuses to file a complaint and the matter is kept under wraps. The gang strikes across India and the matter reaches the CBI.

Ranveer Singh approaches the CBI with his own information about the gang. CBO officer Vaseem Khan (Manoj Bajpai) tracks the gang and their next job to Mumbai. The con men have advertised for a short term recruitment for CBI for 50 posts. The real CBI sends some of its officers to pose as job aspirants, gets P.K. Sharma to spill the beans about the modus operandi, and has it all under control to catch the gang red handed in their jewel heist. They move all the jewels to a different location and wait for the gang. The newly recruited Special 26 squad arrives in a bus at the jewelry shop. Does Vaseem Khan outwit Ajay Singh or not is the question.

Interesting enough. But my question is why did the con men need to drag in the CBI into the operation at all? Why could they not just continue with the regular operations of fake CBI officers instead of complicating things? If it were to be that they needed to conduct raids at two places, then they could very well do that. But again they are not the greedy type. It does not all fit in fully for me but good enough overall for the final effect.

The twist is good, the story is tight and interesting, casting is perfect but there is just that little missing to make it a truly great movie like 'A Wednesday'. Perhaps Neeraj Pandey could have stuck to a simpler and more straightforward story of the heist itself. It could have been the Indian version of the Italian Job. But no complaints and certainly worth a watch.

Talaash - The Answer Lies Within - Movie Review

A cop (Aamir Khan)  is assigned the curious case of a film star who goes off the main road into the sea for no apparent reason and dies. Someone in the police station says that several such incidents happened at the same spot but no answers were found. Cop goes home where he has a stressed out, vacant-eyed wife (Rani Mukherjee). We soon find out that they lost their young son who drowned. They both feel responsible for it.

The neighbourhood spirit-consultant (Shernaz Patel) walks in and tells the cop's wife that her son has sent a message to her through the spirit medium. The wife likes the idea. Cop does not. Meanwhile cop finds that there is a pretty hooker (Kareena Kapoor) who is trying to hook him every night as he roams the streets, unable to sleep. She consoles him, tells him sad stories of her friends who have disappeared, takes him to lonely places, and even manages to soothe him enough to make him sleep. Cop is healed.

The story moves on in two planes - one of the cop and his wife and their handling of their son's death. The other of a slowly unfolding blackmail story behind the actor's death where we have a lame pimp, Nawazuddin Siddiqui, propping up the intrigue for a while. The connection between the two stories is pretty thin and I felt that the cop's own story could have been avoided. He could have been anyone with any weakness or fragility. I also felt that the reasons for the blackmail were too flimsy - very little evidence to wield that kind of a power over rich, spoilt brats. The movie has one big moment which works for it but it drags on too long to establish that. If we could have got there faster and with more convincing blackmail plots etc, Talaash might have been more interesting. Overall it drowns under the weight of too many distractions.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Anjali graduates from Daksha Pre-School

I was not aware that there were graduation ceremonies when one graduates from pre-school to regular school. So I was pretty surprised when I was told of this graduation ceremony for five year olds and was curious to know what it was like. Of course I never attended any, and missed the one where Shobhs got a gold medal during our MBA, so I had no clue what to expect.

We landed up first
The certificates
As usual we turned up first and got the first seats. After some mike checking etc, Anita spoke to us about the graduation ceremony, what the children went through and what to expect.
Anita's welcome speech
Caught Anjali's eye
Prabhu sir singing away
Children praying away
There was some song and dance with Prabhu sir pitching in lustily and the children singing and dancing.
Nirmala madam and the PPII teachers - Kamakshi aunty, Kalyani aunty, Vasudha aunty, Ishmath aunty
Harsh after receiving his certificate
Then they went off to wear their graduation robes and came up on stage and spoke a few lines about themselves, their school and what they like etc before they were given their certificates from Ms. Nirmala. 

Anjali speaking about her experiences in PPII
Anjali heading off after receiving her certificate
Manasi receiving her certificate
One last song for PPII and off we go!
Good fun and as usual well done Daksha.