It was something that came up many months ago. I received a mail from Annshu Mishra of Puffin Books, the children's edition of Penguin Books, that he was compiling an anthology of sports stories for children. Could I write one on cricket? I said I would be delighted to see my name in a book with a Puffin cover or a Penguin cover and so got down to writing my story. I wrote it at great leisure over a six month period since Annshu gave me a generous deadline, during which it underwent many small changes but I think it turned out well in the end. I will leave that story out for readers to read when it comes out.
But today I received the formal letter from Penguin asking me to sign the letter with the terms and I did and sent off one copy. It did feel good to be signing on the letter because Penguin is one of those imprints that every author wants to be on. First choice.
And of course first rejection for many as well. I regularly keep sending my stuff all the time, only to get rejected in a couple of days from Penguin but I do persist and am sure I will keep sending stuff there forever. Until one day they cave in and allow me inside.
One thing about the Penguin imprint and logo is that it carries many memories from my childhood as well. My father was a pretty voracious reader of English fiction for someone who came from a really small village in Andhra Pradesh. I wonder how he developed these tastes for English novels. I remember that he had wonderful handwriting as well and excellent command over the written language as well. He read everything and had many Penguin books in his wooden shelves, orange spines and the black and white Penguin which can be quite fascinating for a five year old. I vividly remember Wodehouse's 'Frozen Assets' among those many books even at that age.
And so life turns full cycle and I feel very satisfied that sometime soon I may hold this fine book in my hand and smile and take a picture and say 'Hey Dad, something here for you'. Will put it on the blog. I remember my father also being pretty unhappy about me wasting time playing cricket those days so it's all the more reason to say 'And its because of that cricket that I played'. I don't think he will complain, sitting up there in heaven probably shaking his head.
But on a more serious note, the celebration was more to do with the fact that I do think it reflects a bit on my gradually increasing self-worth. I have made it a point to acknowledge each and every sliver of a recognition of my self-worth, and I do think that signing up for my short story with Puffin in its sports anthology is huge. Well done Hari!
The dinner with Shobha, Anjali and Anuma at Our Place was well worth it. And now for the day when you sign up the big book as well!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
A Visit to Naresh's Farm
Me at the farmhouse top
Naresh, me and Anjali
Naresha!! Always brings a smile to my face. One of the top three people in the world who I always look forward to laugh with. I think that is what our relationship has been based on - cracking completely inane jokes that no one else seems to understand and laughing at them like it was the funniest thing in the world. Its a frequency that often goes out of range for others but always within for us. Maybe God gave us each other to laugh at!
We met during our Intermediate days, 1983, both of us scrawny, lanky and tall adolescents. And sometime during those two years, whilst studying MPC under those dangerous hay roofs which were a fire hazard, we discovered one another. Possibly because we were stuck at the back of the class because of our height. We had absolutely nothing in common or so I thought. He came with a bunch of friends from Padmarao Nagar with a life and culture of their own, while I was some kind of a loner who played cricket a lot and looked doped out on life. Not the guy your average 'good' boys mingled with I should think while he represented all that the 'good' boy was, rode his TVS, spectacles and all, looked the part of the boy next door with nice manners, well dressed and all set to study well and settle down in life. The stuff Mom's like their sons to hang out with (actually they are the most potent stuff I realised later, the next door guys).
I was pretty much like what my Principal said 'I will take a bet you will not clear this second year or go anywhere in cricket or in life.' I think he folded up his school, I cleared my Inter, did okay with both cricket and am doing well with my life. When someone laughs at you or pulls you down, I think you are on to great stuff.
Anyway, I used to go on my bicycle to college those days. Sometimes the bus. Nothing made much sense to me. All the boys buzzing with Maths, Physics and Chemistry and plans of engineering and stuff. I would shut off the buzz and dream of cricket which was doing pretty nicely, especially in the second year, western music which I found was wonderful and movies which were another great escape. On every occasion when I went on tour I would save up enough money to buy at least one cassette of western music from Madras and Bangalore where we had most of our cricket tours (that year I made tours with the HCA Under 19, Under 22, Under 22 South Zone, Under 25 teams, each a 15 day tour). Most of my waking hours went that way with music, movies and maybe books.
I think that is where Naresh and I clicked because, he certainly understood nothing of cricket. We started talking music. And then we liked the fact that we could laugh with each other. And the fact that we could watch movies like 'All that Jazz' together. So we would go to Sangeet on his TVS make-believing that it had a turbo charger, watch a movie maybe and go to his wonderful house which I love visiting, where Aunty, Uncle and Ashwini always welcomed me as one of their own right since those days, watched music videos which was an awesome experience for me because we never had a video player at home nor access to music videos, listened to new music on his huge AKAI deck. I remember listening to 'Beat it' to my hearts content on that system, being introduced with lots of love to new songs by Naresha 'Arre, yeh sun' -'Eye of the tiger', or 'On and On' or even a few years later when we were engineering students or beyond 'I just died in your arms tonight' and so many more. Or singing 'Def Leppard' loudly under that crazy fan with a huge nut with both he and Anu, or even serenading the night singing Peter Cetera passionately by the roadside at Paradise well into the night - 'Glory of love'. So many songs remind me of the times we spent - always laughing ofcourse.
We'd actually spend hours and hours discussing music on the phone! And the one thing he wanted to share so badly with me the last time he was here, when Anu was in hospital briefly recovering from a procedure, was his lifetime collection of music which he carried with so much care and love and transferred to my laptop. Thanks Naresha, that was really nice and i really appreciate it. I don't know what it is but as I write but eyes well up.
After our junior college I lost touch for a couple of years - and then we bumped into each other. Now a handsome young man, a motorcross winner and a real charmer, I was a just inducted first class cricketer and we picked up the thread as easily, and never let go again. So much happened since its almost like a dream, death, marriage, children, careers etc but in a way nothing changed - we still laughed exactly the same way when I met him last week before he went back to the US. It is also deeply satisfying to share our friendship with such wonderful people as Anu who has far more depth, wisdom and compassion than most, Shobha who brings a whole new perspective to our lives in her own way and a lot of unconditional love, Raoul who I think is very creative and a very original thinker and someone I see myself drinking chai and talking of life not too far from today and ofcourse Anjali who is busy making space for herself in this world as I write.
It is also a different kind of relationship in that we have the space to share much with the same amount of confidentiality and seriousness and know it would be understood, so we talk of almost everything that goes on in our lives, something I find I cannot do with so many others. And then we don't meet so often actually, maybe once year, though we try to, and then that one meeting makes up for the time we don't. Actually, that's the way it works I guess with us.
So when Naresha was in town for 7 weeks, announcing his itinerary, and sending out detailed mails as to when he will be free and when we should meet him (and then doing nothing on schedule of course which is one reason why I don't take his itinerary seriously), mainly for Uncle's 75th birthday celebrations, I was certainly planning on spending some good times with him. I could not meet him much at the birthday which was a fabulous affair where all his family and friends from his Dad's time came and Naresh was busy with them. Anjali had a great time on the swings though and I enjoyed talking with Uncle, Ashwini, Anil, Sujata and the others.
Time started flying and weeks rolled on so when Naresh said, I am gong to the farm tomorrow would you want to go, I said yes. the farm is about two hours away atleast near Pragnapur on the Karimnagar route, but I knew I would get a chance to spend sometime with him and so next day I carried my laptop to do some work while Naresha did his farmer act. We caught up at Secunderabad club and drove off, he playing me new songs, catching up on life, buying food, talking philosophy and maybe even singing a couple of songs including his current favourite 'Bangaru kodi petta' from Magadheera. We spent the whole day at the farm, met some agriculture officers, he got his bore repaired and then at 6 in the evening we headed back with some delicious custard apples stopped at Nanking, picked up some wonderful Chinese to top off the day and went home deeply satisfied. I am so glad I made that trip because we could catch up peacefully.
Naresh loves his farm act. He loves his farm actually. I think he practically spent all his time going up and down. It's a really nice looking farm in the sense that it's not yet a full grown orchard and actually has a kind of a hill where the farmhouse is located. So one has views of farmlands rolling of on all sides from the top of the farmhouse which is a well appointed on with all basics taken care of. We planned a night out there but that will happen later ofcourse. Bore, yield, clearing out, crops, subsidies, drip irrigation, manure, soil - these words fly off my friend's tongue easily these days and short of wearing a dhothi he fits the part. I have not yet seen him getting down and putting his hands in the mud yet, but I believe he must be doing it secretly. So when Naresha says, 'Man, I am loving this,' I know he will come back here for sure. I have never seen him say something with so much contentment and finality.
I met him once again before he left and that was wonderful too. Music again and it was intoxicating, the old memories - Pinkfloyd, ABBA, Carpenters hmm. And then to top it all, Naresh, starts playing Kishore Kumar and actually sings a few lines. I drop off the floor. Mr. English, listening to Kishore Kumar. The farmer has arrived and I am sure he will be back soon - Kishore Kumar would be perfect on the night out.
Well done Anu, you have finally done it - you brought out the Indian in Naresha! And I am looking forward to singing Hindi songs with him now. That's a promise Naresha and it already sounds delicious!
Monday, December 14, 2009
A Cricketing Case Study in Progress
Vidyuth and Ganesh, watching the session
Team working at strategy
Making of champion teams
My good old friend of over 25 years now, Vidytuh Jaisimha, is a committed coach of the HCA Under-16 team for the past 3-4 years. Vidyuth always has the kids best interests in mind and works tirlessly for that. As a wholehearted supporter of the concepts that 'The Men Within' advocates, he has always calls me to address the team before it leaves for its campaign. The last two years I have had the opportunity of speaking to the team on three or four occassions and was happy that the teams performed well and reached the national stage. I was also happy to note that some of the boys had retained what I had told them in a small, intense 15 minute talk and that too, they retained points of great utility to them. To be a successful cricketer, you defnitely need to have intelligence and they showed it in plenty.
This year I decided to add more value and asked Vidyuth if I could get an hour or so. He agreed though he was realy short of time for practice since the team had only 3 days togther. I had to make his faith count so I designed a quick workshop, made copies of handouts and rushed off.
I sat with the boys and set the basic parameters in place, as to why they were in the team (no answer as usual), how it makes sense for them to perform as a team better so they can pursue their individual goal as well (hmm..yes), how important it was to know their role and to have a goal (makes sense), how their goal should always support the team goal and how they can give their best to achieve both.
We discussed experientially how the best teams are compact and tight like a fist. If one finger lets loose the impact reduces by 50%! The boys agreed after punching their fists (hey, that's true).
The boys listened and accepted that it made sense to all concerned. I then made them into smaller groups and asked them to come up with strategies on how to win the championship and they came up with all wisdom in the world which was good enough to win the championship. If you treat them like intelligent beings they will behave like intelligent beings and surprise you, that is the principle! Once the framework of the campaign was set, I told them that these were the basic principles of management of any project and that they were on scientific ground. Armies use it, companies use it and they can use it as well. The qualities of champion teams were discussed and handouts given to the boys.
I then spoke to the captian and vice captain on basic leadership tenets and how they must view their responsibilities. The youngsters listened intently and took their respective handouts as well.
I designed a handout for the coach as well which asked questions of what he was offering to the boys to keep them together as a unit, as individuals with goals etc.
Throughout the tour Vidyuth and I have been in constant touch, devising games, exercises etc for the boys so they are constantly thinking about the game, their best performances, how to get better, analysing one another etc. The performance has been good, no I am being harsh, outstanding in some, and we are one point below Tamil Nadu as we take on Karnataka today. Some performances really were magnificient so far and made the heart leap. I know the boys had grown in character just by being part of that campaign whichis so important.
I am looking forward to meet them before they head out to the national campaign in the next stage and raise the level of inputs. It promises o be an interesting casse study becasue in India there is zero input in the attitudinal side and I believe that is almost 50% or more of the game. The mind is never bought into play collectively, it is always individual, and the way things are, there is much mischief that is going on from extenal sources that leaves the kids minds and attitudes confused. Parents, selectors, coaches are all messing them up. A small input that makes sense and the kids pick up so much because they are intelligent and know what is good for them.
Once Vdyuth and the kids return, we should be able to share more on this. I do think I will have a case for attitudinal coaching as a means to improve performance by 30%-50%!
Watch the space!
Sailaja Jonnalagadda - Empowering philosophy of Louise Hay, Big difference to many lives, Wonderful soul
Sailaja, is much more than a metaphysical teacher (as her visiting card says), and is someone who has changed thousands of lives by bringing the 'You can heal your life', workshops of Louise Hay to them. I regard her highly and respect her contribution and always talk to her when I am faced with an issue. As a good friend, she was concerned about my health issue too. She spoke directly, in the only way she does, and asked me why I was doing this to myself.
'Ask yourself why you are punishing yourself,' she pointed out.
'Me? Punishing myself?'
'Your life is going smoothly, you have a wonderful family, people are appreciating your worth and now, you want to get into this drama. What is it that you want?'
This is what that workshop does to you (it can get on your nerves but it's bang on target all the time). So let me tell you about this workshop called 'Love yourself and you can heal your life' by Louise Hay that Sailaja conducts (or used to conduct, now she has her own workshop with her own content).
To begin with one can read the book 'You can heal your life' and one gets an idea of the almost divine content it possesses. It is written by Louise who went through much trauma in her life (don't miss her story) and how she changed it all with the power of her own thought. Cancer was her challenge too and she overcame it along with money, relationships, fame and whatever else she wanted. Right now she has a good life, be assured of that.
Pretty much the idea is this. What is happening in your life is reflecting what is going on in your mind. If something is happening to you - from the merest accident to the biggest health issue or universal calamity - you have created it with your thoughts and beliefs.
You. And your thoughts.
From the stubbed toe to the ill-tempered neighbour to the unnecessary accident, to 9/11. So your poverty, your bad relationships, your poor health, your bad boss, your sad life, your bad relatives, your oppressive spourse, your irritable in laws, your unfortunate situation at home and work and personal life, your never having money, your chronic health issue, your incredible bad luck at traffic, the bird dropping on your car or your shirt...it's all your creation. A creation of what is going on in your mind.
How empowering huh!
Else, it would not have happened to you. Or even affected you.
The very fact that it is happening to you or affecting you is confirmation. So the first step is to take responsibility for that and say 'hey, I seem to have caused it.' It is easier said than done. But I knew when I did the workshop, or much earlier when I read the book, that it is true. You get exactly what you want.
It's actually very empowering because it throws the responsibility back to you. You can use it to change your thought. And you can start changing the outside experiences as your thoughts change. (Only, you need to start recognising the changes without pulling out the thoughts you have sown every few minute to see if it is working which is what most people do and never get any results.)
What Louise has done is that apart from writing so wonderfully and with such love that I constantly keep comparing it to one of the holy books, is that she has almost exhaustively listed all the related medical conditions that a human could have and has also listed thought patterns that could cause it, and more improtantly an affirmation or an empowering thought that could replace the old victim thought. The idea is to change the thought over a perod of time and create a new reality (which she did to herself and maybe several others).
I flipped those pages. Kidney problems are to do with guilt. Guilt is to do with punishment. I was now punishing myself for god knows what. It's incredible as I saw what I had done - with this condition several of the things I normally like to do were taken away - no good food (no salt), no exercise, no walking and running because my foot swells up, no playing cricket, no travel, no long drives, no drinking (all fluids to max at 1 litre), no non-vegetarian etc etc. So it was pretty much punishment. I inflicted it on myself to atone for some sins I had done (or felt I had done) and only I had the power to either release myself when I was sufficiently punished.
It was that clear. So now I started working on my mind. I did it with a sense of urgency and fear at that time, I remember, which was not the way to do it. I had to go down into the expericee and find out why I felt guilty about anything. Apart from random incidents that come to mind, I must say that I always carried an excessive sense of guilt, always going round life like someone who has been found with his hand in the cookie jar, or even a stained hand like Lady Macbeth's (both victims of our own minds) that someone would find out. I still have not made the connection between why I had this feeling (it's slowly fading off now, maybe enough punishment or maybe just getting tired of doing that drama) but that seemed good enough to pile on guilt to me. Anyway, there are several tools to work on your guilt, from affirmations that you write and try to force your mind through your belief system (works if you do it seriously), to Radical Forgiveness worksheets where you fool your mind (it works like magic), to regressions where you actually visit the place where it began.
I did all three. The regression was done by Sailaja but nothing came of it (stubborn me) so I have nothing to report. The process is quite simple though for those who are interested. You are always conscious, lying in a state of deep relaxation and facilitator asks you questions that transport you to the time frame and descriptions etc. Normally people are transported to periods in their life where their problem originated and they can catch wisps of the incidents and make the connection why what is happening now is happening at all. From the past incident you can then disentangle with awareness and that normaly releases you, if you wish to, or else you can continue your drama.
I discovered this wonderful book and the workshop throgh Shobha whe did it when she was in a low phase. It was during a time when much was going on in our lives I guess, so I guess I must have contributed as her spouse to her stress. After that she went on to join Sailaja when she set up Antharyaami independently, to run these workshops and did wonderful work as well in taking out these messages. I resisted the workshops for years, but then it was Harish, who appears to be some kind of a divine messiah now that I look at it, who tips me over the edge through some act or thought and makes me do some crazy things.
Harish, the scrawny, intellectual youngster who we used to play cricket with, who did his engineering from Osmania and upped it and went on to build a successful career in Silicon valley, came back into my life years later with a life threatening health issue, a searching heart and much wisdom for his young soul. I told him about this workshop (though I had not done it) and it just happened that they were looking for enough numbers to get that minimum going in. In comes Mr. Rescue, (that's the only way I would do it, pattern of my life) and I finally did that workshop which was good for me and which set many things right in my mind. Harish remained in touch and still does, I think he is curently the only one who reads the blog other than me, gives me books like 'The 3 cups of tea' and sets me off on a mad journey and so on. That's why the divine messiah stuff. Thanks Harish.
Anyway, fact of the matter is that illnesses can be cured through the mind route. There are enoguh cases there but it needs a mad belief. There is enough proof to say that you can back your medicine delivery well with the mind work so you can heal faster (if you want to). Whatever it is, it gives you a much better shot of healing if you get a bit honest about it all and look at what you are doing to yourself.
Cannot but help ending this by thanking Shobha for all the wonderful work she does with me and others, Sailaja, for being there, Louise for the book and all else who are doing such good work in promoting such empowering thoughts and philosophies in times such as these. The Louise work can be applied to anything in life, though she focuses a bit on health, and people who have understood the philosophy and used it with conviction have released themselves from pretty grim situations I know, and have flown off into the high skies into successful careers, relationships, money and what not.
The others can go when and if they want to.
'Ask yourself why you are punishing yourself,' she pointed out.
'Me? Punishing myself?'
'Your life is going smoothly, you have a wonderful family, people are appreciating your worth and now, you want to get into this drama. What is it that you want?'
This is what that workshop does to you (it can get on your nerves but it's bang on target all the time). So let me tell you about this workshop called 'Love yourself and you can heal your life' by Louise Hay that Sailaja conducts (or used to conduct, now she has her own workshop with her own content).
To begin with one can read the book 'You can heal your life' and one gets an idea of the almost divine content it possesses. It is written by Louise who went through much trauma in her life (don't miss her story) and how she changed it all with the power of her own thought. Cancer was her challenge too and she overcame it along with money, relationships, fame and whatever else she wanted. Right now she has a good life, be assured of that.
Pretty much the idea is this. What is happening in your life is reflecting what is going on in your mind. If something is happening to you - from the merest accident to the biggest health issue or universal calamity - you have created it with your thoughts and beliefs.
You. And your thoughts.
From the stubbed toe to the ill-tempered neighbour to the unnecessary accident, to 9/11. So your poverty, your bad relationships, your poor health, your bad boss, your sad life, your bad relatives, your oppressive spourse, your irritable in laws, your unfortunate situation at home and work and personal life, your never having money, your chronic health issue, your incredible bad luck at traffic, the bird dropping on your car or your shirt...it's all your creation. A creation of what is going on in your mind.
How empowering huh!
Else, it would not have happened to you. Or even affected you.
The very fact that it is happening to you or affecting you is confirmation. So the first step is to take responsibility for that and say 'hey, I seem to have caused it.' It is easier said than done. But I knew when I did the workshop, or much earlier when I read the book, that it is true. You get exactly what you want.
It's actually very empowering because it throws the responsibility back to you. You can use it to change your thought. And you can start changing the outside experiences as your thoughts change. (Only, you need to start recognising the changes without pulling out the thoughts you have sown every few minute to see if it is working which is what most people do and never get any results.)
What Louise has done is that apart from writing so wonderfully and with such love that I constantly keep comparing it to one of the holy books, is that she has almost exhaustively listed all the related medical conditions that a human could have and has also listed thought patterns that could cause it, and more improtantly an affirmation or an empowering thought that could replace the old victim thought. The idea is to change the thought over a perod of time and create a new reality (which she did to herself and maybe several others).
I flipped those pages. Kidney problems are to do with guilt. Guilt is to do with punishment. I was now punishing myself for god knows what. It's incredible as I saw what I had done - with this condition several of the things I normally like to do were taken away - no good food (no salt), no exercise, no walking and running because my foot swells up, no playing cricket, no travel, no long drives, no drinking (all fluids to max at 1 litre), no non-vegetarian etc etc. So it was pretty much punishment. I inflicted it on myself to atone for some sins I had done (or felt I had done) and only I had the power to either release myself when I was sufficiently punished.
It was that clear. So now I started working on my mind. I did it with a sense of urgency and fear at that time, I remember, which was not the way to do it. I had to go down into the expericee and find out why I felt guilty about anything. Apart from random incidents that come to mind, I must say that I always carried an excessive sense of guilt, always going round life like someone who has been found with his hand in the cookie jar, or even a stained hand like Lady Macbeth's (both victims of our own minds) that someone would find out. I still have not made the connection between why I had this feeling (it's slowly fading off now, maybe enough punishment or maybe just getting tired of doing that drama) but that seemed good enough to pile on guilt to me. Anyway, there are several tools to work on your guilt, from affirmations that you write and try to force your mind through your belief system (works if you do it seriously), to Radical Forgiveness worksheets where you fool your mind (it works like magic), to regressions where you actually visit the place where it began.
I did all three. The regression was done by Sailaja but nothing came of it (stubborn me) so I have nothing to report. The process is quite simple though for those who are interested. You are always conscious, lying in a state of deep relaxation and facilitator asks you questions that transport you to the time frame and descriptions etc. Normally people are transported to periods in their life where their problem originated and they can catch wisps of the incidents and make the connection why what is happening now is happening at all. From the past incident you can then disentangle with awareness and that normaly releases you, if you wish to, or else you can continue your drama.
I discovered this wonderful book and the workshop throgh Shobha whe did it when she was in a low phase. It was during a time when much was going on in our lives I guess, so I guess I must have contributed as her spouse to her stress. After that she went on to join Sailaja when she set up Antharyaami independently, to run these workshops and did wonderful work as well in taking out these messages. I resisted the workshops for years, but then it was Harish, who appears to be some kind of a divine messiah now that I look at it, who tips me over the edge through some act or thought and makes me do some crazy things.
Harish, the scrawny, intellectual youngster who we used to play cricket with, who did his engineering from Osmania and upped it and went on to build a successful career in Silicon valley, came back into my life years later with a life threatening health issue, a searching heart and much wisdom for his young soul. I told him about this workshop (though I had not done it) and it just happened that they were looking for enough numbers to get that minimum going in. In comes Mr. Rescue, (that's the only way I would do it, pattern of my life) and I finally did that workshop which was good for me and which set many things right in my mind. Harish remained in touch and still does, I think he is curently the only one who reads the blog other than me, gives me books like 'The 3 cups of tea' and sets me off on a mad journey and so on. That's why the divine messiah stuff. Thanks Harish.
Anyway, fact of the matter is that illnesses can be cured through the mind route. There are enoguh cases there but it needs a mad belief. There is enough proof to say that you can back your medicine delivery well with the mind work so you can heal faster (if you want to). Whatever it is, it gives you a much better shot of healing if you get a bit honest about it all and look at what you are doing to yourself.
Cannot but help ending this by thanking Shobha for all the wonderful work she does with me and others, Sailaja, for being there, Louise for the book and all else who are doing such good work in promoting such empowering thoughts and philosophies in times such as these. The Louise work can be applied to anything in life, though she focuses a bit on health, and people who have understood the philosophy and used it with conviction have released themselves from pretty grim situations I know, and have flown off into the high skies into successful careers, relationships, money and what not.
The others can go when and if they want to.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
The Homeo route - Dr. Guravaiah
We took the early morning flight to Tirupati, Harsha and I, on January 15, 2009. He had a car pick us up at the airport (quietly efficient as always) and we stopped by at a hotel for a couple of hours as we freshened up. I was still reeling under self-pity so I merely ate an apple and made a big show of eating an idli with no chutney and sambar. Me, the adult nephrotic syndrome affected! The dramas we do.
At about 1030 am we turned around the corner and went and met Dr. Guravaiah. He just walked in casually, tall, smiling and very reassuring. Could not be more than 50, looked 40 and had a boyish smile and charm. Something about him made me warm up to him instantly. We were led into his small homeo clinic at 132, TP Area, Tirupati, that goes under the name of Dr. Boenninghausen Computerised Homeo Hospital and sat in a small, rather cramped clinic. The walls had large photographs of Lord Balaji, his parents and a few other pictures and a state of the art desktop that had an amazing homeo program with symptoms, cures, combinations and what not. It was amazing to see him use that to get to the drug.
After his prayers, he smiled and asked me what the problem was. I showed him the reports and told him the story. He examined the reports and looked at me and smiled again. He asked me several questions about my preferences, my tastes, my nature and wrote them down in a file.
'Nothing,' he said. 'Don't worry. We will take care of this. Don't need the biopsy.' I told him my previous experience with homeo and he nodded. 'It works,' he said.
'I will start you on some basic drug. Sometimes those work instantly. Then we will see. The main thing is not to feel you are a patient. Though you need to take these diet restrictions seriously and keep your BP etc in check, its important to feel and be like a normal person because the mind can work havoc. I have treated several complicated cases and have seen wonderful results so I see no reason why you should not stage a full recovery soon. Just be normal, exercise a bit and you will be fine. We can meet once in a month since I come to Hyderabad every second Sunday, or you can come here. Else call.'
The way he said it, I was elated. After all those doomsday predictions this was incredibly good news. I took the medicine he gave, thanked him and left with Harsha, a much more happier man.
Dr. Guravaiah, I came to know him much closer, was a much deeper, sensitive, philosophical, caring soul than what he appears. He believes in healing and in treating those who need healing when all else seem to be closed. He has tremendous faith in his ability to cure, 'sitting here under Lord Balaji's photo, I feel that he is guiding me in healing. I am only his medium,' he says.
He studied in Tirupati and got a government job. He worked in the job for several years before he decided to move on to heal more people. 'It looked like a bad decision to everyone, to leave a government job when I had a young family to support, but I was clear,' he said. 'If I had to heal more people I needed a clinic. So I set up a clinic and for several years I did not make enough money. But I kept going because I believed in this. I would almost do free service, charging only those who could afford. There was one figure in my mind though, which was the target income that to me, made sense that I have succeeded. I achieved it after about five years and that day I was so happy.'
'Somewhere, things changed, money started come, fame, people started calling me to Delhi, Mumbai and even abroad, sending me flight tickets, five star hotel bookings to heal their near and dear. But my basic commitment remains to heal the needy. Now I am TTD consultant and go every Thursday to Tirumala.I have plans of a hospital so the poor can get this cheap and no side effect medicine.'
'India needs homeopathy,' he says emphatically. 'It's cheap and can reach out and cure several common ailments quickly. There are so many who can benefit.'
I came away from him feeling very relieved. I decided that I will use this as the main healing and support it with allopathy for my BP. I will keep a check on the readings and see where they are heading. For the time being the kidney looks fine and with these diet restrictions and medicine, I might cut the protein loss.
I needed to keep a clear head and stick to my plan. In my mind I told myself 'Whatever I use, will only heal me. All these wonderful people will only heal me.'
In my experience, homeo has worked for me. From my adenoids which completely disappeared in two weeks, to common colds (wonderful medicine), coughs, fevers, headaches, migraines, and several others, it offered almost immediate relief. In some cases like migraine, it offers slow yet sure cure. Homeopathy has that quality of slow but sure build up of the body constitution as well, so any chronic problem can be addressed on a long term basis. I'd go for it because it has apparently no side effects and the results are most often there. In complicated cases, it is always best to go with the proper diagnostic reports because then they can pinpoint their diagnosis and drug. Else they are a bit in the dark and the treatment may not be as effective. And the best thing is that you can continue allopathy as well because they operate differently.
I met a lady who had cancer in April 2009. Her doctors gave her the surgery route and she refused. They told her she would not live beyond three months. She told them to go to hell and started off on homeopathy. Her family and friends thought she was crazy. 'I isolated myself from all those who would criticise me or break my spirit and surrounded myself with only things and people that supported me.
'On the last day of the third month I lay awake waiting to die. Nothing happened,' she said. 'I was petrified though.'
Its been four years since, she said, and look at me, can you believe that I am a cancer patient. She most certainly did not look like a cancer patient. She did pretty much all the stuff that we did in that workshop (which was very physical). She spoke loud and clear and was very articulate, in fact she seemed more alive than most of us there.
Case for homeo there.
At about 1030 am we turned around the corner and went and met Dr. Guravaiah. He just walked in casually, tall, smiling and very reassuring. Could not be more than 50, looked 40 and had a boyish smile and charm. Something about him made me warm up to him instantly. We were led into his small homeo clinic at 132, TP Area, Tirupati, that goes under the name of Dr. Boenninghausen Computerised Homeo Hospital and sat in a small, rather cramped clinic. The walls had large photographs of Lord Balaji, his parents and a few other pictures and a state of the art desktop that had an amazing homeo program with symptoms, cures, combinations and what not. It was amazing to see him use that to get to the drug.
After his prayers, he smiled and asked me what the problem was. I showed him the reports and told him the story. He examined the reports and looked at me and smiled again. He asked me several questions about my preferences, my tastes, my nature and wrote them down in a file.
'Nothing,' he said. 'Don't worry. We will take care of this. Don't need the biopsy.' I told him my previous experience with homeo and he nodded. 'It works,' he said.
'I will start you on some basic drug. Sometimes those work instantly. Then we will see. The main thing is not to feel you are a patient. Though you need to take these diet restrictions seriously and keep your BP etc in check, its important to feel and be like a normal person because the mind can work havoc. I have treated several complicated cases and have seen wonderful results so I see no reason why you should not stage a full recovery soon. Just be normal, exercise a bit and you will be fine. We can meet once in a month since I come to Hyderabad every second Sunday, or you can come here. Else call.'
The way he said it, I was elated. After all those doomsday predictions this was incredibly good news. I took the medicine he gave, thanked him and left with Harsha, a much more happier man.
Dr. Guravaiah, I came to know him much closer, was a much deeper, sensitive, philosophical, caring soul than what he appears. He believes in healing and in treating those who need healing when all else seem to be closed. He has tremendous faith in his ability to cure, 'sitting here under Lord Balaji's photo, I feel that he is guiding me in healing. I am only his medium,' he says.
He studied in Tirupati and got a government job. He worked in the job for several years before he decided to move on to heal more people. 'It looked like a bad decision to everyone, to leave a government job when I had a young family to support, but I was clear,' he said. 'If I had to heal more people I needed a clinic. So I set up a clinic and for several years I did not make enough money. But I kept going because I believed in this. I would almost do free service, charging only those who could afford. There was one figure in my mind though, which was the target income that to me, made sense that I have succeeded. I achieved it after about five years and that day I was so happy.'
'Somewhere, things changed, money started come, fame, people started calling me to Delhi, Mumbai and even abroad, sending me flight tickets, five star hotel bookings to heal their near and dear. But my basic commitment remains to heal the needy. Now I am TTD consultant and go every Thursday to Tirumala.I have plans of a hospital so the poor can get this cheap and no side effect medicine.'
'India needs homeopathy,' he says emphatically. 'It's cheap and can reach out and cure several common ailments quickly. There are so many who can benefit.'
I came away from him feeling very relieved. I decided that I will use this as the main healing and support it with allopathy for my BP. I will keep a check on the readings and see where they are heading. For the time being the kidney looks fine and with these diet restrictions and medicine, I might cut the protein loss.
I needed to keep a clear head and stick to my plan. In my mind I told myself 'Whatever I use, will only heal me. All these wonderful people will only heal me.'
In my experience, homeo has worked for me. From my adenoids which completely disappeared in two weeks, to common colds (wonderful medicine), coughs, fevers, headaches, migraines, and several others, it offered almost immediate relief. In some cases like migraine, it offers slow yet sure cure. Homeopathy has that quality of slow but sure build up of the body constitution as well, so any chronic problem can be addressed on a long term basis. I'd go for it because it has apparently no side effects and the results are most often there. In complicated cases, it is always best to go with the proper diagnostic reports because then they can pinpoint their diagnosis and drug. Else they are a bit in the dark and the treatment may not be as effective. And the best thing is that you can continue allopathy as well because they operate differently.
I met a lady who had cancer in April 2009. Her doctors gave her the surgery route and she refused. They told her she would not live beyond three months. She told them to go to hell and started off on homeopathy. Her family and friends thought she was crazy. 'I isolated myself from all those who would criticise me or break my spirit and surrounded myself with only things and people that supported me.
'On the last day of the third month I lay awake waiting to die. Nothing happened,' she said. 'I was petrified though.'
Its been four years since, she said, and look at me, can you believe that I am a cancer patient. She most certainly did not look like a cancer patient. She did pretty much all the stuff that we did in that workshop (which was very physical). She spoke loud and clear and was very articulate, in fact she seemed more alive than most of us there.
Case for homeo there.
Friday, December 11, 2009
The Year That Was - A Health Issue!
Godavarikhani market - fresh as it can get!What an year! It began with much uncertainty due to a health condition and continued through the year. I guess I started noticing the changes in myself - the sudden increase in weight and several other factors such as blood pressure shooting up (I could feel it) etc but what pushed me to see the doctor was a huge swelling in my right foot. I was all set to drive off to Pune after a nice little two-day visit to Bellampally with Satish when I checked about the swelling with Vardha - it was rather huge and I was having difficulty wearing my shoes and sandals. He asked me for a BP reading and it was absurdly high.
Vardha suggested a series of tests and asked me to cancel the drive. I got the tests done next morning, collected the reports. All the readings - cholesterol, LDL, triglycerides - were all absurdly high. Thankfully the ECG was normal. We took the flight to Pune the next day. I was kicking myself for neglecting my health, and saw the good Dr. Sethia, Anu's doctor in Pune. She came with me for her own medication and was much support. He ran a series of tests himself and concluded that I needed to get my act together on the BP, cholesterol, thyroid and some other issues and precribed many medicines. I decided to follow all that he said and returned after a quiet, worrisome trip post-New Year.
The swelling persisted, which needed more tests. Ram was concerned. He fixed up a meeting with Dr. Gopichand. Visits to the cardiologist, scans of the abdomen and then an exploration of my varicose veins, led my doctors, now Dr. Prabhudheer, my good friend and a wonderful soul, to conclude that there was a grade 4 leak in my valves at the thigh which was good enough for a swelling. Another problem! I met Dr. P.C.Gupta, a true professional if there was one, and he said it involved a surgical procedure and that he would shut these veins off and start off new veins and all should be fine. However he wanted to rule out one possibility and asked me to do a creatinine-protein test.
And then all hell broke loose.
Turns out I was losing large amounts of protein through the kidney. There was a hush at the reading 5.42. Normal level is 0.2! He advised me to see the nephrologist. My thoughts were a bit hazy - kidneys, why me, why now, what is this. I waited a while at the CARE Hospital nephrology department and while waiting called Dr. Prabhudheer. Do you know a good nephro I asked? He said there was one at Sai Vani, Dr. M.V.Rao. I rushed there with the gang in tow- Ram was driving my entire show now. Another series of tests and scans and one look at the reports and Dr. Rao said, 'This is adult nephrotic syndrome'. I looked on in a daze not understanding what it was. Sounded complicated. 'But the good news is that the kidney function is perfect - your creatinine levels are normal. However you are losing protein. We need a kidney biopsy and we can start off on medication. Get the biopsy done at Apollo.'
Things were spinning out of control. Kidney, biopsy - whoa, these were big words. The fear of death started looming. I was already watching the state Rajan Bala was in, with his kidney failure condition and wondered what it was all about. These doctors seemed quite casual about the way they spoke of it all but my world was turning topsy turvy. No stop salt intake, non-vegetarian, low protein diet, only one litre of fluid etc etc. Life jerked to a stop. Why, why?
Anyway, with long faces, we returned home, Ram and I, and fixed up with Vardha, who stood like a rock all through, (he always does, good old Don, despite all the ribbing we give him) to meet the Apollo chaps and get the biopsy done.
We met Dr. Ravi Andrews at Apollo, who told me that the biopsy was safer than crossing the road, that I could live with this syndrome a full life or take the risk of not getting treated and going into kidney failure, and we did everything including a test run of how the biopsy procedure works, some pre-biopsy tests. The admission slip was issued and only room availability was to be checked. We decided to do it after the Sankranti festival, two days later. There was much uncertainty, each test showed something new, this entire nephro area seemed a bit hazy not just to laymen but to doctors as well. I was really keyed up.
That evening Koni dropped in and we were talking about the condition. He started talking of how homeopathy helped his daughter Sagarika over the long run. It suddenly hit me that when I was young, Mom had used homeopathy from Sivananda Murthy garu in Warangal to cure me of adenoids (I was scheduled for a small surgery just as in this case). The adenoids had vanished in a week. No trace of them ever after! Hey, I said, not a bad idea. It worked once so it will work again. Ram, who was there, also agreed, which was pretty uncharacteristic. I thought he might rubbish the idea (normally he does with such ideas) but he felt that this biopsy business sounded rather aggressive and we could try the homeo route. That gave me some more time to find my feet (pun intended).
I met the good Dr. Mohan, my regular homeo doctor and a pretty good one at the job, at Musheerabad the next day. The normally composed Dr. Mohan gave me some medicine but he looked a bit flustered and gave me the number of Dr. Krishnan, a nephrologist at Apollo, Vikrampuri, and asked me to meet him. He was not too sure it appeared. While going home, again wondering what to do, with my homeo doctor sounding uncertain, I dropped in at Mythily's house for dinner, and out of the blue, Harsha started telling us of this high profile, miracle homeo cure doctor from Tirupati whom he had met a few weeks ago. He treats high profile patients and had treated Harsha out of a condtiion which needed surgery. Could we see him I asked? He called him. Yes. But at Tirupati. Tomorrow first thing in the morning. It was nine in the evening. We booked our flight tickets. And flew.
And the the journey began! Into homeopaths, naturopaths, ayurveda, spiritual healers, kriya yoga experts, energy healers, healing correction healers, a regression, affirmations, radical forgiveness healers, alcolohic anonymous methods to heal, sujok and so on.
It was a fascinating path and I met several incredible people. More on them later!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Change in perspective
Vardha's home!
Where's the swamp?
Where's the ground?
As I move towards the most delicious part (which I cannot even wait to begin, it fills me so) - to write about my experiences through the year, I also wish to write about the small things I am doing, changes I am making to grow as a person. One of the things I did was to take a walk in the morning, and yesterday, I decided to make a small change. Instead of walking through the beaten track which for me for several years was a run around KBR, strictly regimented, same route, military precision, show off the sweat and sinew and return. But now it seemed rather pointless so I decided to stroll around in the neighbourhood.
I cannot believe that I had not walked into the ESI hospital compound for almost 20 years now. This is where we grew up playing our childhood cricket matches every Sunday. This is where I got my first six in my ninth class, a huge soaring shot that is still etched in my mind and I wondered how easy it seemed, my first brilliant, left handed catch that got the entire team falling over me, my seven wicket haul, and so many more exploits. This is also the place where our childhood friends Madhav and Vardha lived with their parents (father was the Director of ESI), and Trigger, a huge dog, in a nice quaint bungalow standing beside two others on the edge of a huge ground (where we played). In their house we have memories of wonderful meals, great warmth and love from aunty, can't forget to mention that uncle was very tolerant to all our transgressions, a garage party in our final year engineering days where all the good looking girls came, but suffice to say that enough had happened there to warrant at least an occassional peek.
But I had not. So when I suddenly turned that route, it struck me that there was tremendous activity going on in the ground. To my right were the quarters where the ESI cricket team boys lived - Anil, Sunil, Santosh, Razee, Ganesh, Vishnu - and I swung by to see if there were any familiar faces. None. I came back to the road that led to the ground. There was no ground. Several buildings are coming up there.
I suddenly remembered that old English style house, where a young muslim family lived, apparently of noble blood, which showed in their one foreign car, clothes and behavior. But what was obvious was that they did not have the money for the upkeep. It was a huge mismatch, their appearance and belongings looked aristocratic but the maintenance gave it away even for kids like us. It stood royally, on the highest part of the ground, and we dared not go too close to it.
That is gone now.
The well laid road has buildings both side now. Hostels, offices, Vardha's house still there, thank god for that, and led into a huge sprawling colony that blew my breath away. This was a swamp! What happened? And when? The entire swamp had become a colony for the ESI employees with well laid out roads, quarters, playgrounds etc that I just stopped open mouthed. I asked a man who was sitting there, what the colony was and when it had come up and he looked at me rather weirdly but gave me the details. Obviously it had been built almost 20 years ago.
For 25 years then almost, I had not walked that path, and missed out on what was happening under my nose. One small turn, one moment of not thinking of myself or showing off (of wanting to impress the world by being in the middle), and I would have seen this. I wonder how much more we miss. This was too huge, so itcannot be ignored, but what of the millions of gestures, smiles, waits, friends, family, thoughts, words that we miss because we do not have the space. It is part of the process of growth but it is worth a thought. What if the ground recognised me and said, hey, welcome back, where were you?
My learning for yesterday, reiterates what I have been practising recently, take that little turn and move out of the beaten track - it took me the smallest bit of hesitation to veer into the gate from the main road (you can guess, that was my original plan) and I did it. It opened up a whole new world of fantasy to me. That moment of hesitation, of discomfort, choose the discomfort. You will never regret it. You will grow.
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