I am not too sure of how one projects but I tried to understand - it is 'attributing unacceptable feelings or impulses to someone else to avoid confronting them'. We project as a defense mechanism - because we have a trait or desire that is too difficult to acknowledge. Instead of confronting it we cast it on someone else.
Ok, till now its all from the book. From here its my understanding.
How to find if we are projecting?
When we blame others certainly (I think) and get very self-righteous about it. (The more self-righteous we are, the more indication that its a projection I think)
So if I say I am disappointed in someone for their behavior, maybe I am disappointed in myself for my behavior.
Now, that is not going to help other than to create awareness.
To move beyond awareness I need to know what it is that I am projecting. I am disappointed with x for not showing up on time. Now, I am upset because I cannot acknowledge to myself that I can be like that too. In my mind, I will never be like that which is why I am upset.
But deep inside I know I can be like that too. I have that trait too. And I am fine with that trait too.
Once I acknowledge my own possibility of having that trait, I can no longer judge that person for that trait. In fact I now have the freedom to be that too if I want.
And by doing so, I take back my projection. And remain peaceful.
So when i am upset and angry with someone, first understand that its ok to be like that because I can be that too, and I am perhaps being exactly that with others (or with myself).
Projection wihdrawn.
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