Canteen Fundas - Use the 3 As to Make Connections

 Use the 3 As - Acknowledge, Appreciate and Ask for help!

https://www.edexlive.com/opinion/2022/feb/09/e-canteen-fundas-want-to-really-connect-with-your-team-as-a-leader-try-the-3-as-formula-27353.html

E-Canteen Fundas: Want to really connect with your team as a leader? Try the '3 As' formula


To make great and instant connections with people and to maintain good energy in the environment, practice the 3As — ‘Acknowledge’, ‘Appreciate’ and ‘Ask for help’ with people

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‘We’ve begun the trust-building process with our team,’ said Rinku. ‘But I realise it takes time.’

‘Yes,’ said Rahul. ‘I wish there were techniques to build connections within the team faster.’
‘There are simple practices that every leader could follow to help make trusting connections and improve the energy in the team,’ said Rakesh. ‘I call it the 3As. Practice them and watch the energy in your world change.’

‘3As,’ said Rahul. ‘Let me guess. Action. Assertion. Authority. Right?’

‘No,’ smiled Rakesh. ‘Acknowledge, Appreciate and Ask for Help.’

‘What?’ said Rahul. ‘How is that leading? It’s more like pleading.’

‘Absolutely,’ said Rakesh. ‘Since you need people to help you in achieving your team goals, you need to find ways to crack the connection to their hearts. The first thing to understand in people management is that people like to be seen as individuals — who bring value, who are important, who are more than a job or a role. Most times, we do not treat people as real people with feelings or emotions. We do not ‘see’ them or acknowledge them. It lowers the energy drastically like there’s a wall between you.’

‘But we acknowledge everyone, no?’ said Rahul. ‘We say hello, talk to them and so on.’

‘To acknowledge someone is to treat them as a distinct, special individual,’ said Rakesh. ‘Most of us 

don’t even look at people when we speak to them — the doorman, waiter, driver, colleague or family members. Our greeting does not get delivered when we do not look at them, into their eyes.’’

‘How then?’ asked Rinku.

‘Try it Rinku,’ said Rakesh. ‘Look at Rahul and make eye contact when you say hello so it registers for both of you. Secondly, address him by his name, the sweetest thing in the world for anyone to hear is their name they say. If you don’t know their name, find out and use it immediately so you remember it. Then make physical contact like shaking hands, touching him appropriately on the shoulder or bumping fists because there’s magic in our touch. When you do these things you’re saying — 'Hey, I see you and I care about you'. So how did it feel, Rahul?’

‘I felt like I exist, like I am special,’ said Rahul. ‘Felt good.’

‘Hmm and I realised I hardly look at people when I meet them,’ said Rinku. ‘I haven’t even looked at my family members properly in so many days. I’ll start acknowledging people properly from today.’
‘This is a great way to build connection and trust,’ said Rahul. ‘And what’s the second ‘A’ bhaiyya?’
‘Appreciate,’ said Rakesh. ‘Most leaders only have negative things to say about people. They only see what’s wrong with them, what’s not there — and send signals that the others are not good enough. It’s not a great way to build good energy in the team. If you want good energy in your team, practice appreciating them every time you meet them — find some small thing about their attitude, work, energy or qualities — and appreciate them. It makes people feel good about themselves. They feel there is hope. Practice the art of appreciating because this is not just about them, it helps YOU big time.’

‘Us?’ asked Rinku. ‘How?’

‘When you start looking for things to appreciate, your outlook of life and the world changes,’ said Rakesh. ‘It changes your energy into an optimistic, hopeful and energetic one. Instead of being a drain on the environment, you bring good energy that uplifts the entire place. Rahul, please go on and appreciate us.’’

‘I’m struggling to find something to appreciate and I can see how negative my outlook has become,’ said Rahul. ‘I’ll try though. Bhaiyya, you’ve explained these concepts so well and Rinku, you’ve been showing a great capacity to learn and make a difference.’

‘Wow, thanks Rahul,’ smiled Rinku. ‘That felt good to hear and I feel like I am on the right path. And bhaiyya, what’s the third A?’

‘Ask for help,’ said Rakesh. ‘Most leaders think their job is to dictate. They feel they know everything and others only have to follow their orders. But people resent being ordered because it does not give them a sense of control in the proceedings. You have to make them feel they have a voice, a stake. Work should be done voluntarily, not out of fear.’

‘But work only gets done like that, no bhaiyya?’ said Rahul.

‘Rahul, you’re looking at developing a team where everyone is willingly doing great work and fully trusts one another,’ said Rakesh. ‘That kind of a dream team happens only when you show vulnerability as a leader and ask for help. When you ask for help they see you as someone who is like them, who is not perfect, who needs them. It makes them feel important. They feel part of the story and realise you all need to help one another. As a leader practice this quality because you need people to help you willingly and enthusiastically. So get comfortable asking for help everywhere. Ask for help from the vegetable vendor, waiter and colleagues — see how it makes them feel important and purposeful. See how they take up that responsibility and involve themselves. See how the energy changes and how they take it personally.’

‘Thanks, bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘I’m going to practice the 3As now with every person I meet and make genuine and instant connections.’

Pro Tip: To make great and instant connections with people and to maintain good energy in the environment, practice the 3As — ‘Acknowledge’, ‘Appreciate’ and ‘Ask for help’ with people. The energy in the relationship and the team shifts for the better instantly.