The Vague Woman's Handbook - Devapriya Roy

'The Vague Woman's Handbook' by Devapriya Roy is about two vague women, one twenty something newly married woman and one fifty year old widow, who meet and help one another deal with their lives. Their issues are day to day issues of family, bills, fat, food, directions, and so on.

Devapriya writes well but in this novel she is let down by a plot that is pretty thin. I can't help feeling that she could have just gone over the top and over-dramatized certain things (the credit card goons were an interesting possibility, the mother-in-law was another, kidnap threats, missing in actions, leering bosses, old girlfriends for husband, anything) and added some drama and conflict which would have helped as the two vague women go along their lives. Also, I suspect, the vagueness quotient got too much in the way and the novel ended up being just that - vague. That's a pity because it's obvious that she can write. 'The vague Woman's Handbook' ends up with all the promise of a Jeeves and Wooster story but without Wooster getting into a sticky situation - so Jeeves does not go beyond getting him a pick-me-up. Did Devapriya hold herself back a bit? Maybe. Should she in the future? No. On the positives, she is one of the better writers, confident and strong, and it is definitely one of the better debut novels.

Offside - Movie Review

I started watching 'Offisde' last year and completed it this year, primarily due to a technical glitch. Directed by Jafar Panahi,'Offside' is a story told in the length of a soccer match between Iran and Bahrain, an important qualifying match for the World Cup finals in Germany.

A girl wants to watch the game despite the law against women watching football matches in stadiums. She travels to the game by herself slimly disguising herself with a cap, a jacket and boy clothes. She manages to get a ticket but she is caught and herded with several other girls who also want to get into the stadium. The guards cannot understand why the girls take so much trouble to watch the match in the stadium when they can watch it at home. The moods swing as the match progresses, one girl asks to go to the toilet and manages to slip away, one girl picks up a fight, and meanwhile the match ends. They are herded into a police van to be taken to the vice squad. There is a tender moment when the girl reveals that she wanted to watch the game for her friend who died in crowd violence at a previous Iran-Japan game. The movie ends as the girls slip away in the confusion on the road.

That's the best thing about Irani movies and especially by Jafar Panahi. Take a simple setting, set up the actors in front and through them explore the situation behind it. Why women cannot watch football matches is something the cannot understand, when they are allowed to play. Apparently inspired by Jafar Panahi's daughter who attended a game despite the law, the movie, shot during a live Iran match, was banned in Iran. Watch it to marvel at how simple stories can be told so well and so deeply.

The Average Indian Male - Cyrus Broacha

Cyrus Braocha is hilarious - in a manner that is his own. Self deprecating, irreverent and constantly pushing the envelope, nothing is sacrosanct to Cyrus. He is in the Dave Barry mould to me - completely zany, making the most unlikely connections – and makes me burst out in loud laughter when I least expect to. I am an unabashed fan and like him and his unique sense of humour that cannot and should not be imitated, nor even attempted. (In my opinion Cyrus, and the few other humorists we have, ought to be protected as national treasures for the simple reason that they stop us from taking ourselves too seriously, which is a joke.)

And so it was with a great sense of anticipation that I picked up 'The Average Indian Male' as I do with all humour books hoping that Cyrus would rip this delicious topic to pieces. But surprisingly Cyrus did not – at least not as much as he normally would have done. I felt that given his talent and the material available on the subject he could have done much more with such a topic. Did he take the focus off the Average Indian Male  somewhere? Perhaps. Did the letters format impede his natural style? Maybe. And so what could have  been a great book became an ordinary book for me. Cyrus, you’ve missed a super topic to rip up man. But there is fresh fodder for you everyday so perhaps you could do a sequel. 

Anyway, my Laugh-o-Meter (the number of times I laughed aloud while reading the book) stood at a healthy 12-15. But the first one came in a bit late at page 52 and then one big one came at 84 with that incredible Paramjit a.k.a Ducky who was a riot ('lots of friend'). Page 127 with Apruva Mahadik wanting to know how to make more  friends makes me laugh each time I read it (especially the P.S. where Cyrus asks Apurva not to email him again as he had contributed to the most boring chapter in the book). The latter half picks up and was more fun overall. 

In retrospect, a few hearty laughs are definitely worth my time, and I'd say that if anything, I was disappointed that Cyrus did not do enough with the average Indian male. Else, on its own steam, its still a fine funny book and better than most that pass off as 'hilarious'. Recommended if you have a stomach for Cyrus, else you may not like some of his not-so-subtle jokes. But for me, worth my time.

Daksha School Annual Day 2013

The Annual Day at Daksha School built up momentum pretty early. For the last month or so Anjali would come home and show off some new stuff she learnt - her dance moves or skit lines - and give a blow by blow account of what she and her friends had practiced that day. 'Teacher said this' or 'the others did that' she'd  go on gaily and the mirth with which she shares shows how much she enjoys herself. What got me hooked this time was when Anjali told me that when she goes to school she 'can't wait to get on the stage and tell my lines!' Wow! That's a nice state of mind to be in.

On the given day, 12th of January 2012, we (Shobha, Mythily, Anjali and I) landed up at Ravindra Bharathi, the venue for the Annual Day, dropped Anjali off and headed off to the old Kamat Hotel next door.

Anjali heading off for her show

 Now I have fond memories of this hotel from as fa back as the mid 70s when we would visit it with our father during our trips to Hyderabad and eat large slabs of chocolate ice cream and wonder how to eat a tutti frutti which was a tricky customer if there was one. Kamat still has the same welcoming smells of sambar and agarbatti, the same decor and seating arrangement and we ordered our idlis and wadas and puris and coffees. Manasi's parents, her brother Kushal and grandmother (Anjali's best friend along with Harsh) were at the next table as were many other parents. We trooped back in at 930, found a place at the back and were joined by Chitra soon. And then, the program began.

Japanese Umbrella Dance

Malay Dance

A welcome song by tiny tots (who would either sway off, not move or perform in their own manner in a most adorable manner) began the proceedings. We smiled, laughed and appreciated their effort under the spotlight. Then, there was a Malay dance followed by a Mexican dance, a Chinese Fan dance, an Arabian dance, a South American Samba, a Japanese Umbrella dance, a Texan Cowboy dance (Anjali was in that along with Harsh and Manasi her two partners in crime, and several more of her friends), a Hawaiin dance, a Spanish salsa, South African dance and to round things off, a robust bhangra to a fiesty 'Rang de Basanti'. Now if that list does not take your breath this surely will - all of them were performed by children  from the Play Group to the 1st class.

South American Samba Dance

Texan Cowboy Dance

South African Waka Waka

As we watched the children troop in with lovely costumes and props, each of the dances choreographed and practiced with such care and love, it filled the heart to see the young ones enjoy themselves so. And even more so to see teachers support the kids when they make a mistake, exhorting parents not to be harsh if their children fail to perform on the big occasion. That the children came on the stage and participated was more than enough for them. Some children enjoyed dancing, some enjoyed doing something else (like walking about or going off stage or talking to their friends or just doing whatever pleased them at that time) and some enjoyed just being there. Wonder of wonders, no child cried, and almost everyone got into the act. With the older children, the acts were almost perfect - everyone performing in a most confident manner that belied their tender years, holding on to every step and beat and completing their final posture until the curtain fell. I enjoyed each and every dance, marveled at the children's confidence and patience, and was all admiration for the teachers. Oh it was superb.

Bhangra

Swagatham

Spanish Salsa

Chinese Fan Dance

And then there were the skits. The English one by PPII about how we take our Universe for granted, the shift towards mindless consumption and production, the destruction of trees for factories that produce more, the generation of garbage as we consume things we do not need and the consequences of our acts. Anjali was in this one and she plays a consumeristic 'human being' who is rather fond of chips and who throws the packet into the garbage dump that is the world we live in. I found it very thoughtful, entertaining and impactful. The moment the children look at the audience and say helplessly 'can someone help us' wrings your heart and you know that you must not abdicate the responsibility you have to the Earth. The idea of recording the children's dialogues in a studio was brilliant as it made the skit so much more enjoyable and surely contributed to far more confident performances from the children. Well done all of you. You have certainly made an impact on all adults and the children. Going by Anjali's responses, I am sure that we will see a more caring and responsible generation coming up.

English Skit - Chop, chop, chop go the trees

The Sankranti skit 'Oorlo Sankranti' was certainly a popular hit because we do miss these festivals, miss the rural setting where India's heart really beats and it was a heartwarming eye opener for everyone. Again solid performances, good settings, great dialogues and a lovely climax. In addition to the fun quotient of burger loving, mall crazy children of the cities, there was the important message that we must not forget our roots, our culture, and came out strongly through the skit. I know Anita feels strongly about it and I endorse her views fully. It is not only important but necessary to know who we are, where we come from and what our histories are because it forms a crucial component of understanding where we want to go and how. Everyone enjoyed it specially the older generations.

Oorlo Sankranthi - A dose of rural culture

The Hindi skit 'Ek Chitti Bhagwan ke Naam' was about a child whose parents are too busy and do have not time for him. It brought home the point that the most valuable thing we can give our children is our time and not merely admissions in good schools, food that they like, expensive gifts and so on. I think many parents would have squirmed in their seats at the dialogues when the parents in the skit urge the child to watch TV or do puzzles when the child actually wants to spend time with them (I did). I won't be surprised if many parents start spending more time with their children after that skit (I will). Well done and well thought of. In a five minute presentation you posed a huge question that troubles this generation of nuclear families and double income parents. Certainly the answer lies within us and we must make time for what is most important to us.

Hindi Skit - Ek Chitti Bhagwan Ke Naam

In her Annual report Anita, founder of the school and good friend, spoke of how the school took a decision to start the 1st class and how it was a good mix of a well-designed curriculum. The curriculum is designed by an expert Ms. Asha (who came on stage) which shows how much thought goes into all this seemingly playschool activity. I believe that if, in these formative years, children get a healthy outlook it can completely shape their viewpoint of life. I find the huge empowerment that Anjali gets now as she reads her books by herself (reading off even big words like 'continue', 'favourite' and 'reliance' as she tells me) and thereby creates her own world. Anita thanked everyone and called everyone from her school on stage and the applause said it all. Wonderful stuff.

Mexican Dance

Arabian Dance

But to me the best moment of the day came at the end when the compere Ms. Hema interacted with the audience. Sirisha, Anita's sister-in-law and a practicing doctor in the USA, who landed that very morning spoke in glowing terms about the good work done by Anita and the team. A few other parents and grandparents shared genuine and spontaneous reactions to the exquisite show. But no moment captured it all better than when Anita's fourteen year old daughter Shreya spoke about how proud she was to see what her mother had done, and how hard Anita worked to put this show together. As she spoke Shreya broke down and it required a big hug from her mother to complete a perfect moment. I am so glad Shreya spoke and reacted so spontaneously because she brought out feelings that were probably bubbling up inside for most. I felt exactly how Shreya felt at that moment because I was overwhelmed by the sheer effort that went into the show. These children are 3 to 6 six year old for god's sake. To make them perform and more importantly to make them enjoy it is a huge achievement. And for Anita to set such aspirations to look up to for Shreya, her son Rohan, and certainly her set of admiring students (including Anjali) through her actions and her manner is itself one of the biggest testimonials to Daksha and its spirit. Always caring, always thinking, always putting in effort and preparing, always trying to better themselves - children learn much from just observing, imbibing and imitating the adults they see in their school.

It's My World

The Annual day at Daksha is all about preparation.The detail, the care, the balance, the right earnest and the intent. There is just no compromise on effort, yet they are most sympathetic to each child, knowing that it is the effort that matters so much more than the result. It is the quest for perfection that gets you. You only see a part of the vision through Anjali's versions, but you know where it is all heading to. And having known Anita and having seen her team in action over the past two years I know one can expect nothing less. Their desire to push for new boundaries when something simpler or easier could have sufficed is what sets them apart. Well done Daksha, Anita, Radhika, Kamakshi and your entire team. You have surpassed yourself this time.
After the loud and happy byes we headed back. It was a happy and tired Anjali who sat in the car, lost in her thoughts. When asked if she was tired she smiled mischievously and said they were dancing backstage to all the other songs as well. And that's Daksha for you!

A Heritage Walk in Pune With Kalpak

And our own little heritage walk in Pune. I’ve been going to Pune so often since the early nineties but never made time to go check out some of the heritage structures that were not further than five kilometers from Kothrud. And we want to see the world??

Anyway Kalpak and I decided to strike certain things off the list this time. We quickly zoned in on the plan. The first step to that always is meeting at the usual rendezvous, Good Luck Cafe at Deccan. There we polished off some bun omelette, cheese omelette, chote samose and chai and headed off on his new snazzy Royal Enfield 500 cc. Not more than 2-3 kilometres or so from Deccan we parked the shiny new bike near the Vishrambaag Wada. Kalpak is good company for these kind of visits specially because he has enough knowledge on the background and he kept me filled up on the info as we walked along.

Kalpak, great company

We walked along by the side of the old structure building which now seemed to house a post office and some other offices. We were told at the one official looking ticket counter that being a Monday, it was closed. Disappointment! Anyway we walked up, saw the impressive façade of the building, complete with its rather fancy woodwork. Lots of wood in these structures. This was the residence of Peshwa Bajirao II in early 19^th century and was also the place from where he was arrested by the British later, signaling an end to the Peshwa regime. The inside apparently houses a school, a museum kind of a place with some artifacts. Built in 1807, it is in really good shape. Vishrambaag Wada was the centre where several education institutes were started. Rather intriguingly the PMC (which operated in those premises till 1959) bought the property form the British Government. How the British managed to sell something they did not own is a mystery. Currently it is under restoration though.

Then, we hopped across the road to a quiet Tulsi Baug. Most shops were shut being a Monday, thus making one of Pune’s busiest markets rather bearable. We were also lucky to find that this holiday has been utilized to put up photographs of journalists in a street exhibition called ‘Sadak Chaap’. We stared at some lovely photographs and moved on. We wanted to find the Ram Mandir which was somewhere here (apparently the name Tulsibaug comes from Tulshibaug Wada which is the Ram, Ganpati and Shankar temple). We finally asked a young man selling jeans and he pointed out to the temple rising behind the shops.

Ram Mandir, Tulshibaug

Next was the entry to the Tulshibaug Ram Temple, through one of the narrowest by lanes opposite a Hanuman temple on the main road. Even as we walked on, one of the Shahbad tiles that covered the drain broke. No serious damage. The temple looked like some work was in progress. It was impressive though with some ornate carvings on the spire. Could do with a flooring I felt around the temple. It is of 1965 vintage. I saw some quaint shops selling small cooking toy utensils made of brass or copper. Very quaint.
We exited from the temple and walked over to the Mandai or the Mahatma Phule Mandai, the vegetable market. It was a beautiful British structure, apparently built in the pre-independence era, with a central office and some eight branches where the shops (526) are located.

Section of the Mandai from top

It was a lazy afternoon and no one was really buying r selling anything but the fruits and vegetables looked really fresh. We climbed up the stairs and took a look around – wooden steps and well maintained too. Lots of shops with puja items as well. In comparison with the magnificent structure there is the new structure which is an eyesore. I mean, could we not just copy that old structure which is so aesthetic looking? It does bother one to see how our aesthetics have deteriorated and how easily satisfied we are to display our lack of sensibilities sometimes. Anyway we climbed up the parking lot which was some five floors and had a good look around. Nice. Oh, the Ganesh mandal of Mandai is one of the most popular ones in Pune.

Mandai, another view

Done with the Mandai, we walked down the road to the famous Dadgusheth Halwai Ganapati temple. It is a small temple which is right on the road but with heavy security. The idol is apparently insured for one crore. The temple as built in 1893 by Dagadusheth Halwai a sweet seller. The temple has some history in the Independence movement too as Bal Gangadhar Tilak used the Ganpati festival for public to congregate together. We went in and prayed to the beautiful idol and marveled at the jewellery and the décor. Beautiful stuff.

By now we were feeling a bit low on fuel and found the popular Joshi vadewale right in front of Dagdusheth temple. We ordered ourselves vada pav and some masala taak from the next store and refreshed ourselves. Onward then, to Shaniwar Wada.

Shaniwar Wada

As we walked along Kalpak filled me in on the details of the Peshwas and their history. We circled the Shaniwar Wada and its impressive looking walls. The Shaniwar Wada, a palace in the fort, was built in 1746 and was the main head quarters of the Peshwas until the British overpowered them in 1818. We went to the main façade, saw the statue of one of the Peshwas on a horse and then entered the Wada.

Shaniwar Wada from the Main Gate

Now inside the Wada there is nothing but the foundations because the entire palace of the Peshwas had been burnt down in an unexplained fire! Now this is a huge let down. There are the remnants of a complex fountain of a thousand jets that is shaped like a lotus. We walked along and found a place to rest our backs and watch the sky. The sound and light show was at 7-8 (Marathi) and 8-9 (English).

We started back after a short rest, bought some bhel outside and walked back to the bike a good couple of kilometers away. There's much we can do with three hours. A thoroughly enjoyable heritage walk with Kalpak who is just perfect company for this kind of a work. Thanks a lot for your time, energy and wonderful company Kalpak and let's do some more the next time we're in Pune.

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success - Deepak Chopra

Milind recommended this book to me and did one better, he lent it to me. A compact and content rich book that explained the laws of success with the trademark lucidity and simplicity that Deepak Chopra is known for. Without much ado, the seven laws then:

1) The law of Pure Potentiality: Also the law of pure consciousness, of all possibility, infinite creativity and the law of unity. Deepak Chopra talks of self-referral (where you look within for answers) and object-referral (where you seek approval from the outside) and advocates self-referral which is the path of love and all positive emotions while object referral is about fear and approval based. The other attributes of consciousness are - pure knowledge, infinite silence, perfect balance, invincibility, simplicity and bliss.
For Practice - Deepak Chopra advocates spending time in silence, in meditation, practicing non-judgement. And by spending time with nature and being in stillness.

2) The law of giving, and receiving: To keep the flow of life you must learn to give, to receive. If you want to receive, give. Keep the wealth circulating. Give gifts. Especially give that which you want to receive or help people to get that. The best gifts he says are those of caring, affection, appreciation and love.
For Practice - Chopra advocates giving something when you meet anyone. Giving could be in the form of compliments, laughter and smiles. Or give a gift. When you receive be grateful.

3) The law of karma - Also the law of action and consequence. As you sow, so you reap. To think before sowing, which makes it the act of conscious decision making. Deepak Chopra asks us to be aware of the choices we make. To step back and be the witness. One sure way of deciding between choices is by identifying comfort or discomfort. If you are comfortable, plunge headlong. If not refrain.
Practice this - Witness the choices you make, ask yourself the consequences of the choice you are considering and whether those choices will bring fulfillment and happiness to you and those affected by it.

4) The law of least effort: Actions motivated by love. It is about acceptance of all that is. It is as it should be. It is about responsibility - no blaming anyone, including yourself. Instead have a creative response to the situation. Defencelessness is another attribute where you do not feel the need to defend. You are open to all possibilities.
Practice this - Acceptance that things are as they are, taking responsibility to having creative solutions instead of blaming and defencelessness where there is no need to defend and thereby being open to all possibilities.

5) The law of intention and desire: Here he says that attention energises, intention transforms. The 5 steps to set your intention going 1) Slip into the gap (between thoughts) 2) release your intention and esire 3) Be in a  state of self-referral 4) relinquish your attachment to outcome 5) and please let the universe handle the details.
Practice this - List your desires, release your list and be aware moment to moment

6) The law of detachment: It is about being open to uncertainty. Deepak Chopra says the security is about one way, while uncertainty opens up an exciting world of the unknown. He says, don't force solutions, regard problems as opportunities. Where preparedness meets opportunity, solutions will appear.
 Practice this - Commit to detachment, do not impose ideas on how things should be, factor in uncertainty as an essential part of your life and your actions and remain open to all possibilities

7) The law of dharma: Also about the purpose in life. Deepak Chopra urges you to find the one unique talent that god has given you to express yourself the best. That is the purpose of your life - to discover your true self, your higher self to express your divinity and while expressing it, being of service to humanity. Chopra says that you must look at each act from the point of view of 'how can I help' and not 'what's in it for me'.
Practice this - Seek your higher self, discover your higher talents and see how it serves humanity best.

Tremendous lucidity in this little book. I have no doubt that by following these seven laws one will find bliss and whatever else one truly wants. But let me try and simplify it further and see if I can find one key to the seven.
The practices advocated are -
1) Silence - Looking inward
2) Meditation
3) Non-judgment
4) Stillness - Even in movement
5) Time with nature - Experiencing oneness and separation
6) Giving every time we meet someone - Material and non-material like love, smiles,
7) Making conscious choices - being aware
8) Being the witness - stepping out to make conscious choices
9) Acceptance - that it is all as it should be
10) Responsibility - for everything, there is no blame, just a creative solution
11) Defencelessness - nothing to defend
12)  Being aware of your desires - putting your intent forward
13) Detachment to outcome - act but detach to one outcome
14) Being open to uncertainty
15) Seeking the higher self through our unique talents and using it to serve humanity.

Being fully aware 'in the now' appears to be one key. Great read and one that we could do well to practice to make lives more fun and bearable. Recommended without reservation.

God Explained In A Taxi Ride - Paul Arden

'God Explained in a Taxi Ride' by Paul Arden goes with a line on the back cover that says that it is the world's second best book on god. The first one is whatever you choose of course.  Also this 125 page illustrated book tries to explain 'once and for all' what god is in the length of a taxi ride. It takes you about half an hour to read.

Paul Arden builds up his case and says we don't need middle men to find god, especially if they cannot answer certain questions like why we cannot see him or who is the holy ghost. He talks clearly of war, atheism, religion, heathens and the connections, argues for more sense of humour, more tolerance and understanding for peace to exist. He talks of how we pay for our faith in religions and concludes that perhaps we can find our own concept of god. His take - whatever you call it, words describe only the force behind creation - the one that made the sunrises and sunsets and all else that we take for granted in our lives. God. And that's what he believes in.
  
Paul Arden was Executive Creative Director of Saatchi & Saatchi and now a writer who has written two other books 'Whatever You Think, Think The Opposite' and 'It's Not How Good You Are, It's How Good You Want To Be.'

The title of 'God Explained In A Taxi Ride' is interesting and hooks you, the presentation is fun and easy on the reader, and it gets over quick, as promised. But the content is ordinary, and it  certainly is not the second best book on god by any length of imagination nor does it explain the concept of god once and for all. To me its a collection of thoughts on god that did not have a logical structure and thereby did not lead up to the big answer. But the disclaimer comes early in the book - there are no answers. So what was it all about? But the book does not take up too much time during or after the read so its worth a flip.
Would I buy it? No.