Gehraiyaan - Movie

2022. I would have written my two bits if I could have gotten the spelling right. Anyway let me attempt a short line on how the film would have been pitched - a young depressive, bad luck carrying yoga trainer prone to panic attacks lives in with an ex-advertising copywriter who is on a break to write a novel and thereby make a lot of money, meets her rich and naive cousin and her unscrupulous, killer boyfriend, has an affair with him, gets pregnant, leaves live in writer, realises that new boyfriend is planning to bump her off and somehow manages to bump him off instead, and lives happily ever after. The writer marries a new girl and the two cousins (bad luck) attend the wedding. I rooted for the writer to go back to his job. 

Question - does yoga not help with panic attacks and balance of mind?

     

Tilaka - Dr Priyabala Shah

This is an academic book about Hindu marks on the forehead and I got it from a most unlikely source - Brother Joseph. He gave it to me and told me it was an interesting book to read and I did.Published by the New Order Book Co, Ahmedabad, in 1985, it covers topics such as Tilaka the sect mark (Sampradaya), religious and spiritual significance of Tilaka, as a class mark, for women, materials to be used, as a beauty mark, as a charm spell, as part of worship, the different colours for Tilaka, Tilaka in scriptures and paintings and in Sanskrit literature and as a custom of tattooing.

There seems to be general agreement that the Tilaka was not form the Vedic age because the general notion seems to be that in those days people could see Gods directly but in the current Kali age we need idols and hence we need Tilaka. It has special marks to differentiate between Vaishnavas, Lakhmiji or Sri (Ramanuja), Seaaji (Madhavacharya), Mahadevji (Vallabhacharya), Sanakadika, Saivas, Saktas, Jainas, Charana Dasis, Satanis (Sudras also employed by Brahmanas to brand outcastes with the disc and conch of Vshnu), Ramanadis, Kabirpanthis, Kararis, Bab Lallis, Ramadasis, Vadagalais (accept Vedas as their own scriptures), Tengalais, Ganapatyas, Swami Narayana...each with their own brands and symbols. Whew!

Who can wear what Tilaka is given. Colours of tilaka correspond with the with the complexion of each varna, which was assumed to convey its general mental qualities - Brahmana (venerable), Kshatriya (merciless), Vaisya (merciful) and Sudra (vain). Different colours, patterns, number of lines for varnas. Women were on par with Sudras - cannot hear or read Vedas (outcastes are not even Sudras as most think - they cannot even think of the Vedas perhaps - they can only vote). Other interesting things are about how women should serve their husbands fully and they will go to heaven if they do all the right things. There was this thing about linga basavis or women of the lingam who bear a sign tattooed on their thighs and how the priests as God's chosen ones can take them as their mistresses and even brand them upon their completing their duties satisfactorily as a certification and wherever they go their wants will be abundantly supplied. How gracious of them!

And some other such interesting stuff. One can only wonder at the way these ideas have been practiced as organised religion and to see how these ideas are still being mischievously used politically. The book is very interesting and the author has presented it as truthfully and dutifully as one can and there is much to learn but then these aberrations in Hindu society come up and one wonders at how mischievous the interpretations have been and how some castes have given themselves greater privileges and some have been kicked down to hell - women and sudras - and below them, the out castes.

But thanks Brother Joseph.   

The Butterfly - Beautiful Even in Death

I was sitting on my chair and noticed this colourful butterfly on the ground. I noticed it was not flying and when I tried to pick it up I realised it was too weak to fly. It was dying, almost dead.

And then one wonders, how beautiful one can be in death. And how the butterfly chooses to share so much beauty even in its death. And how death itself can be beautiful, a cause for celebration.

Colourful butterfly 

RIP butterfly. I will not forget the message you gave me.

A Day at Beauty Green

 So I told Raju and Gowri that they could come along to Beauty Green with Hari, Tenzin and Rohith, for a day out. We could play some table tennis, cricket eat some lunch and return. Koni was ok with the idea and as planned we reached there close to 1 pm.

Tenzin and me

Raju, Gowri and gang reached there half an hour later. 

Tenzin having fun

Hari and Gowri on the swings

We played table tennis for a while and sipped some beer and at 3 or so, ate some fine lunch that Raju and Gowri bought - biryani and stuff. Post lunch we played some cricket. Now Hari is an accomplished cricketer having played varsity cricket in his University days and he picked up a bat after 22 years and guess what - everything was picture perfect. He batted superbly. We all batted a bit, bowled a bit and had fun. 

The monk who played cricket - Hari played varsity cricket 

Koni. Shobhs, Gowri, Raju, Tenzin, me, Rohith and Hari

At 530 or so we took a detour and saw the new Statue of Equality of Ramanuja from some distance and returned home. 

It was 8 by the time we reached home. Day well spent though. 

Ice Boys in Bell Bottoms - Krishna Shastri Devulapalli

 I read Krishna's book for the first time in 2009 or so I guess when I met him and Chitra at the HLF. I found it hilarious and I could easily see that Krishna was one of the funniest voices we have in India - and this was his debut book. But recently I felt like reading it again and Krishna gifted me a copy and I reread it. I fully got the beauty of the book and how evolved he was as a writer even then.

The story is his own - a famous grandfather, a father who drew cartoons, Krishna's childhood in Madras. But the way he wove the story to accomodate a steady stream of amazing characters who push the story forward, while making you laugh at each page, and then winding down a beautiful coming of age account with a bittersweet ending was brilliant. The family, the famous poet grandfather, father, mother, two sisters, the endless stream of wannabe film artistes, the protagonist Gopal's local friends who play Ice Boys (I Spy) with him is one lot. The other is the people around him - the Banka family with their super forward kids and mostly Sachu whose French and fashion sense many try to copy (including Gopal which is where the title gets its second part from - bell bottoms), the neighbour who would have his butt shaved by a barber, Deshbush and Ramki, and their drunken episodes, and finally Vini and Lata and the dance party that goes wrong.

I loved the way he crafted it, made the characters come alive, kept the funny bone alive all through and ended on a poignant, bittersweet note. Take a bow Krishna, brilliant stuff.      

Canteen Fundas - Use the 3 As to Make Connections

 Use the 3 As - Acknowledge, Appreciate and Ask for help!

https://www.edexlive.com/opinion/2022/feb/09/e-canteen-fundas-want-to-really-connect-with-your-team-as-a-leader-try-the-3-as-formula-27353.html

E-Canteen Fundas: Want to really connect with your team as a leader? Try the '3 As' formula


To make great and instant connections with people and to maintain good energy in the environment, practice the 3As — ‘Acknowledge’, ‘Appreciate’ and ‘Ask for help’ with people

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‘We’ve begun the trust-building process with our team,’ said Rinku. ‘But I realise it takes time.’

‘Yes,’ said Rahul. ‘I wish there were techniques to build connections within the team faster.’
‘There are simple practices that every leader could follow to help make trusting connections and improve the energy in the team,’ said Rakesh. ‘I call it the 3As. Practice them and watch the energy in your world change.’

‘3As,’ said Rahul. ‘Let me guess. Action. Assertion. Authority. Right?’

‘No,’ smiled Rakesh. ‘Acknowledge, Appreciate and Ask for Help.’

‘What?’ said Rahul. ‘How is that leading? It’s more like pleading.’

‘Absolutely,’ said Rakesh. ‘Since you need people to help you in achieving your team goals, you need to find ways to crack the connection to their hearts. The first thing to understand in people management is that people like to be seen as individuals — who bring value, who are important, who are more than a job or a role. Most times, we do not treat people as real people with feelings or emotions. We do not ‘see’ them or acknowledge them. It lowers the energy drastically like there’s a wall between you.’

‘But we acknowledge everyone, no?’ said Rahul. ‘We say hello, talk to them and so on.’

‘To acknowledge someone is to treat them as a distinct, special individual,’ said Rakesh. ‘Most of us 

don’t even look at people when we speak to them — the doorman, waiter, driver, colleague or family members. Our greeting does not get delivered when we do not look at them, into their eyes.’’

‘How then?’ asked Rinku.

‘Try it Rinku,’ said Rakesh. ‘Look at Rahul and make eye contact when you say hello so it registers for both of you. Secondly, address him by his name, the sweetest thing in the world for anyone to hear is their name they say. If you don’t know their name, find out and use it immediately so you remember it. Then make physical contact like shaking hands, touching him appropriately on the shoulder or bumping fists because there’s magic in our touch. When you do these things you’re saying — 'Hey, I see you and I care about you'. So how did it feel, Rahul?’

‘I felt like I exist, like I am special,’ said Rahul. ‘Felt good.’

‘Hmm and I realised I hardly look at people when I meet them,’ said Rinku. ‘I haven’t even looked at my family members properly in so many days. I’ll start acknowledging people properly from today.’
‘This is a great way to build connection and trust,’ said Rahul. ‘And what’s the second ‘A’ bhaiyya?’
‘Appreciate,’ said Rakesh. ‘Most leaders only have negative things to say about people. They only see what’s wrong with them, what’s not there — and send signals that the others are not good enough. It’s not a great way to build good energy in the team. If you want good energy in your team, practice appreciating them every time you meet them — find some small thing about their attitude, work, energy or qualities — and appreciate them. It makes people feel good about themselves. They feel there is hope. Practice the art of appreciating because this is not just about them, it helps YOU big time.’

‘Us?’ asked Rinku. ‘How?’

‘When you start looking for things to appreciate, your outlook of life and the world changes,’ said Rakesh. ‘It changes your energy into an optimistic, hopeful and energetic one. Instead of being a drain on the environment, you bring good energy that uplifts the entire place. Rahul, please go on and appreciate us.’’

‘I’m struggling to find something to appreciate and I can see how negative my outlook has become,’ said Rahul. ‘I’ll try though. Bhaiyya, you’ve explained these concepts so well and Rinku, you’ve been showing a great capacity to learn and make a difference.’

‘Wow, thanks Rahul,’ smiled Rinku. ‘That felt good to hear and I feel like I am on the right path. And bhaiyya, what’s the third A?’

‘Ask for help,’ said Rakesh. ‘Most leaders think their job is to dictate. They feel they know everything and others only have to follow their orders. But people resent being ordered because it does not give them a sense of control in the proceedings. You have to make them feel they have a voice, a stake. Work should be done voluntarily, not out of fear.’

‘But work only gets done like that, no bhaiyya?’ said Rahul.

‘Rahul, you’re looking at developing a team where everyone is willingly doing great work and fully trusts one another,’ said Rakesh. ‘That kind of a dream team happens only when you show vulnerability as a leader and ask for help. When you ask for help they see you as someone who is like them, who is not perfect, who needs them. It makes them feel important. They feel part of the story and realise you all need to help one another. As a leader practice this quality because you need people to help you willingly and enthusiastically. So get comfortable asking for help everywhere. Ask for help from the vegetable vendor, waiter and colleagues — see how it makes them feel important and purposeful. See how they take up that responsibility and involve themselves. See how the energy changes and how they take it personally.’

‘Thanks, bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘I’m going to practice the 3As now with every person I meet and make genuine and instant connections.’

Pro Tip: To make great and instant connections with people and to maintain good energy in the environment, practice the 3As — ‘Acknowledge’, ‘Appreciate’ and ‘Ask for help’ with people. The energy in the relationship and the team shifts for the better instantly.

Gayatri Bhavan - Raj Bhavan Road

 So Vasu discovered this place which serves some fine veg food and lemon tea.

 

He tried it a few times and now we catch up there over a snack or a cup of tea.

Ghee Karappodi Idli

 

The ghee karappodi idli was a hit until they changed the karappodi. 

Lemon tea - top view

Other stuff is good too - dosas, parottas, meals - though I didn't try them all.