I read somewhere, perhaps in the book 'The Four Agreements' that getting disappointed is the biggest ego trip or something like that. Something not very nice. I realised right then that I was on a big ego trip because I tend to express my disappointment rather quickly.
The Perfectionist. The Know-all.
I think what I do is that I look at a situation like how it would be perfect i.e. the way I would do it (obviously I am perfect) and then when others fail to live up to my level or sense of perfection, I tend to get disappointed. A sulk, a withdrawal, a very open show of disappointment or rather a clear signal that "you do not match up". I do not approve.
Not nice. Need to change this behavior.
What could help is if I just look at things like - I do things this way, this is how they do things. And if things do not match up, shrug and move on.
But why am I stuck with the gap? Like a master whose favorite pupil has let him down?
To hold this lightly, I realise I have to disconnect, I have to stop having favorites, having 'my' people, because I realise that I tend to expect perfection from those closest to me, those who I expect more from. I realise that I have to drop this expectation from people close to me, wanting them to be like me or how I think I am like, and let them be themselves. Once i do this i guess I will let them be as they are, and be more myself as I am.
Disappointment then is borne out of a false sense of me and myself, me and mine. Instead of seeing myself out there and being disappointed, I think I am better off focusing on expecting stuff from myself, looking at others without judgment and letting it be without any attachment.
New aspirations. No disappointments. Each to their own.
1 comment:
Looks like, this is the thought I wanted to hear these days sir. Thanks for sharing :)
"New aspirations. No disappointments. Each to their own."
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