The Happiness Hypothesis - John Haidt

Read John Haidt's 'The Happiness Hypothesis' (Basic Books, US$16.99) for a longish time now, which has been recommended by Ram and passed on to me by him. Haidt is a Professor of Psychology at the University of Virginia and has authored 'The Righteous Mind' earlier. Obviously he is concerned and interested in matters concerning the mind and fine matters that too - where he engages with the greatest minds and philosophers, religions and gods of all time.This book however is about 'finding modern truth in ancient wisdom' and deals with 10 great ideas. Since the book is written in an flowing narrative style I really could not differentiate the ten great ideas because there were several ideas and examples, scientific research and ancient wisdom (I am the one who looks for the 10 ideas listed out and summarised so you know what you are dealing with here). Anyway I read through - nodding my head at stuff I understood and identified with, and glossing over stuff that I did not.

The book starts with the idea that we have a mind in conflict - and not merely one mind but several - a loose confederation of parts of the mind to be precise. Haidt looks at the mind(s) through the metaphor of an elephant and a rider - the rider can only guide the elephant some part but the elephant finally seems to have its own say in the matter. That is how our mind works! So we have a bias towards engaging in needless worry and towards bad things and we may try to make the elephant understand our worry but the elephant goes on regardless - until there is real and imminent danger to us.

I loved the chapter on reciprocity where he points out that we all have a tendency to mimic and we love those who mimic us (and give them extra tips) and by knowing and understanding the idea of reciprocity, how we can actually exploit people or stop ourselves from being exploited. The examples of the Hare Krishna guys who first give something and then when you are in a mood to reciprocate, ask for donations (and we give them), sticks to the mind. How often have we all fallen for that devious smile by the one we do not really know or care about and preferred over someone we know who really deserves our support! Ah, reciprocity, how devious a tool is this! (Watch Woody Allen's Zelig for a lesson in reciprocity!). Haidt also says that we are all hypocrites and that happiness does not come from within as the Buddha says but from within and without. So Haidt goes on arguing with himself, proving that he has a divided self, and concluding something in between always. But some stories are interesting. And yes, reciprocity is good.

On adversity and post traumatic growth Haidt concludes not too shockingly for us that perhaps adversity could help our growth. There is one quote by some ancient Greek about how "suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character and character produces hope" that I liked. Adversity typically shows us hidden ability and improves the self concept, brings newer and nourishing relationships to the fore and helps major transformations. Adversity really is a driver for growth (though he does not really advocate suffering).

Haidt concludes that changing the mind is hard (Lives are a creation of our mind - Buddha) and that we could, instead of taking Buddha's tough path, take the easier path of meditation, cognitive therapy and Prozac! And how about looking at your own faults and not so much those of others? Then you could empathise with them a little more and be less harsh would you not? Happiness, Haidt concludes, is about acceptance. (Again, not too shocking a revelation really.) But I loved the happiness formula they ended up with - Happiness (H) = Biological set point (S)+Conditions of your life (C)+Voluntary activity (V). (Give me a break guys - a formula really?) He makes a case against the Buddha a bit, saying that perhaps we also need to have some passionate attachment and live with passion - and not just calm striving and detachment from desire.

Love and attachments are good, as social relationships strengthen the immune system, reduce depression and anxiety disorders, extend life and help in speedy recovery. Have someone to lean on, to give and take and know that man cannot be an island. Haidt also argues for virtue and positive psychology, and even for some kind of a belief as in divinity whether we believe in god or not, to be happy. In conclusion, Haidt says that happiness comes from somewhere in between and cannot be found, acquired or achieved directly (from supermarkets and shopping malls). However it is worth striving for to get the right relationships between oneself and others, between oneself and work, between oneself and something larger than oneself to find a sense of purpose and meaning (and happiness).

I find many new western authors, Malcolm Gladwell comes to mind, who write well and are good to read in parts and not so good in parts. They address many diverse ideas seemingly connected to whole and give tonnes of research and stuff like that but I can never get the whole idea they are presenting. Haidt falls into that category though he sticks to his central theme of happiness. I found it rather difficult to go through the book what with so many digressions and examples and ideas.  When I did finally I was disappointed to find that in almost every conclusion he finds some middle path - the truth is in between. Ancient wisdom is well in its place here and there is much already on the middle path, on balance, on the paradox in it, and I did not really find the modern truth in ancient wisdom as the book claimed. Or even if I did, it was not something new. If one is looking to find happiness by reading this book, I doubt whether one would be successful at it, but surely, one can find a lot of interesting stuff and analyses which make for good reading. Not top of my highly recommended list but falls somewhere in between. Don't kill yourself if you haven't got it but if its around, you could read it!

Interview with a 4 and a half year old

I decided it's high time I interviewed Anjali again and got to know what she is thinking about the world around her. So with her permission we got down to the interview one afternoon a couple of weeks ago. Most of the time she was running around the sofa where I was sitting, pausing only to gather her thoughts or to make a forceful point.

What do you like most?
Food. Chicken. Not spicy chicken. Games. Princess games. Dressing up games, King and Queen games. I like Snow White games. I like Butterfly games, Gardening games. Mowing games. Karate games. Kung fu. (On the computer)

What do you like doing most?
Play games on the computer, ipad (her friend's and cousin's ipad and a gentle insinuation to me to buy her one), iphone (another one perhaps). Tennis on Wii Sports.

Who do you like most?
Mummy and Daddy. Attas (aunts) - Mythily atta. The other attas don't play with me. They give me toys and go off. Mythily atta plays with me and asks Ram Bharose (her cook) to cook.

I like to feed ants. Take some sugar and sprinkle. Then the ants come running and eat. I like to feed ants. I like to have a pet. Then I can play with it the whole day. A dog. A baby dog (another insinuation to me). But I need Mommy and Daddy dogs (older dogs) too. Or a hamster. They are so cute.

Or fishes (worst case scenario).

What do you like at school?
I like the sandpit. Me and Manasi dig and make a sandcastle. We make sand castles.


What do you not like?
I do not like when Mamma shouts at me (sad face). Or when my balloon flies away. I don't like it when they don't have chicken noodles in hotels. I want it with sauce.
I like to take a red leaf or any leaf and put the same colour and paint. I like to do that. Not green colour.


What do you think of adults?
I think they are nice. I like them. Because they help me.


What makes you happy?
When I wear my shiny silver necklaces. I like Chota Bheem movies.

Do you like being happy or unhappy?
Happy.

What is happy?
Your face goes smiley.


Why happy? Why not unhappy?
Shouting, shouting. Crying, crying.

How can we be happy?
Think of nice things. Suppose you like something like a sausage. You think of it. You get it. Then you are happy.

Simple huh! After this Anjali got tired of the interview and excused herself. Or rather, she ran away to the other room shouting to me that I was asking too many questions and she was getting bored. Thanks for the interview Anjali. It was very enlightening.

The Devil Wears Prada - Movie Review

Finally saw this movie that has long been on my list, as most Meryl Streep movies are. I think my love affair with Meryl Streep began when I first saw her in 'Out of Africa' and later 'Falling in Love' back in the 80s in Sangeet theatre as a college kid. Ever since I have watched most of her movies and have loved watching her in all of them, 'The Bridges of Madison County' especially. So watching her performance as Miranda Priestly, the demanding or rather, ice cold Chief editor of a fashion magazine, was fun.

'The Devil Wears Prada' is adapted from a novel of the same name by  Lauren Weisberger and about the rather demanding and different world of fashion journalism - they say Streep's character is based on the Chief Editor of Vogue. The movie has Andrea Sachs (Anne Hathaway), an aspiring journalist who joins the big fashion magazine Runway in New York as assistant to the exacting Miranda. From calling all her assistants Emily and expecting them to be available on call all the time and do impossible jobs (like getting the unpublished manuscript of Harry Potter) at a demanding pace, Miranda rattles Andrea initially. But Andrea soon gets the hang of it and gets it all right - at the cost of her personal life. In the end Miranda's life is going to pieces with another divorce while Andrea finds some sense and quits. In a nice scene at the end Andrea spots Miranda getting into her car and waves to her in acknowledgement and Miranda looks at her and merely smiles - enough to convey to us that Andrea is a possibility that Miranda could have been if she had not turned out so ambitious. Enough to tell us that she thinks Andrea did right. Ah, how Meryl Streep does these wonderful bits that say so much.

In being as cold as someone who walked out of the freezer, Meryl Streep, does not miss a beat voice modulation and all. Anne Hathaway looks lovely and perfect as Andrea. The film itself is generally okay and rather predictable. Good for a Streep fan for me, and perhaps a one-time watch for others too.

Fine Advise by Prof. Shiv K. Kumar

I met Prof. Shiv K. Kumar, famous poet and writer of 33 works of fiction, non-fiction and poetry and Padmashri awardee, and he gave me two pointers to good writing.

The beginning must be absolutely powerful and drag the reader into the story immediately. In the first two pages you must have the reader and editor hooked, he said. You must put in much thought and effort to get the perfect beginning.

When I told him my next book was about discomfort, he was animated. He told me to keep the discomfort, the discomfiture, the questions going on within me, because he said good writing comes from that.

I have written a book on the Buddha he said, and have just completed one on his meetings with celebrities that included some of the greatest figures in English literature. Some really interesting tales there, a couple of which he narrated to me. I cannot believe the energy, the zest for life, the desire to work and finish more writing in a hurry, the 93 year old veteran has. He is fully focused on his work. Like the Dev Anand's of the world, Prof. Shiv K. Kumar, is yet another of those amazing personalities who are defined by their love for what they do. Nothing sets them back. A huge source of inspiration.

The Hyderabad Series - The Way of the Hyderabadi

This is a series I propose to write in honour of Hyderabad - then and now.

The Way(s) of the Hyderabadi

It is time. We Hyderabadis must proclaim to the world that we shall no longer be ignored, be denied our rightful place. Let the world wake up to the fact that we are not only the epicenter for all the biggest scams on the face of the earth, some sporting icons, biryanis and stuff like that, but we have a unique way about us that demands special mention. We are governed by a complex culture that governs us from our eating habits to our ethics, from picking our teeth to picking fights and from the sweet words we use to the gaalis that drip out in anger. I propose to lay bare all these ways in future weeks and how we have evolved as well. 

In fact, there is a raging debate going on that the famous phrase “when in Hyderabad, be like a Hyderabadi if you value your life” was coined much before the other shortened one about Rome; but what is more pertinent to the reader is how to manage oneself in the complex set of laws that guide Hyderabadi lives. Here is where this new series of mine, the ‘Hyderabadi Way’ or ‘The Way of the Hyderabadi’ comes into play and one can refer to these writings of mine week after week and find an easy and stress-free way to navigate the Hyderabadi waters (so apt in these days don’t you agree, with the monsoon’s arrival?)

The beginning is always the tough part whether in love or in writing articles like these. But for me the starting theme on ‘The Way of the Hyderabadi’ was never too difficult because like all great philosophical questions, it contains the answer within itself! What is the way of the Hyderabadi one may ask and scratch one’s brains forever. But all one needs to do is look closely at the question and one finds the way. I have decided to write about the ways in Hyderabad - the roads of Hyderabad specifically. 

The old times

There was a time when we could enjoy the sights, talk to one another and smile while driving through the traffic. We could even see the size, colour and shape of the road then and we could see the goings on around. But not anymore. Now all we see is dust and smoke, millions of people, the backsides of buses and large vehicles. Decidedly things have changed and we must change too!

Arguably the Hyderabadi roads are a rather frightening prospect – both at peak hour and the middle of the night. When I was young I put Hyderabadi roads third in the order of things that scared me – my Principal, Omen the movie and Hyderabad – in that order. (In fact so scared of the Hyderabadi roads was I that I put it third instead of first.) The reason why it is so scary is that the roads meander, dip and roll, fall and rise as if it were a live reptile in some deep, dramatic symphony, where one knows not when the next twist arrives. To make it worse we have a bunch of suicidal and homicidal drivers who rush through red lights as if they had an invitation to a red light area, come to a sudden stop at a green light as if they ran into a concrete wall, turn left or right at their whim and fancy, fall off or get on to taxies, buses, autos, scooters, cars and do whatever they please with only a prayer on their lips and divine grace to save them. My advise for anyone trying to figure out this traffic – none. Perhaps join a religious or spiritual group and hope for the best. Even as I write about the roads I can feel my breath becoming shorter already, my chest becoming tighter and I shall now veer away from the traffic to the road, on which there is much to be said. 

Good and bad things

But this is not about the traffic – it’s about the roads. The good and bad thing about the Hyderabadi roads is that they are always under repair. The god thing about it is that there seems to be some intent to keep the roads in good shape. But the bad thing is that they are always under repair which makes one wonder about that very intent. I don’t know why, but save the new Outer Ring Road, which is normally in good shape, all other roads in the city are constantly under repair, keeping a whole bunch of people busy and employed for years and years. (Most of those employed in this ‘Department of Constant Repairs’ later make it to the wealthiest people lists in the world, become corporators, ministers and such I believe. But my informants could be wrong.) 

Department of Constant Repairs

The downside of this ‘Department of Constant Repairs’ is that people keep falling into new ditches and holes every other day. The upside is that we are all much more alert and agile because our very lives depend on it. And that makes us Hyderabadis far more vigilant than anyone else in the world. We are constantly on the lookout for ditches, falling objects, falling two wheelers, drama by the side of the road, traffic cops, stopping vehicles, vehicles that might ram us from behind and so on and so forth.

Department of Laying Dividers

As if the man-made and God-made ditches and pot holes are not enough, the other ‘Department of Laying Dividers’ (a rather large sized department if you ask me) goes about adding a few more unseen and unheralded obstacles to increase the degree of difficulty for the traffic. Dividers sway from left to right as if they were kite strings stressing against a forceful breeze, dividers that start and stop suddenly in the middle of the road as if they were angry and uncompromising spouses, missing sign boards, missing traffic lights (but omni present cameras that catch you and your innocent traffic crimes) are all set to keep you ever vigilant. And safe - if all these departments are to be believed. In fact all these Departments seem to be working overtime to keep us safe and secure. Sometimes I wonder if we’d do better without all these departments around.

Things to learn

For those who are stepping anew into Hyderabad we now have the Metro guys digging up the roads, the Electricity board guys normally dig up roads as soon as the monsoon hits the city and on and on. With all these activities going on around you, a million vehicles spewing fumes, dirty looks and stares and threatening to run you over in their road rage, you have hardly any time to enjoy the sights. But what is the fun if you take the easy route and land up home without any trouble? The way of the Hyderabadi is decidedly not easy. But the remedy is simple. All you need is faith in the one above, a prayer on your lips and courage in your heart. A bit of madness also helps! If nothing else you will learn to be fully aware, totally vigilant and highly courageous. You will develop sharp eyesight and lightning reflexes.  Have a safe week until next time when I shall pick another issue about the Hyderabadi Way to discuss. 

Poem by Zen Master Sen-ts'an on Nonjudgmentalism

I loved this poem by Zen Master Sen-ts'an on nonjudgmentalism as a prerequisite to following the 'Perfect Way' in 8th century B.C.

"The perfect way is only difficult for those who pick and choose;
Do not like, do not dislike; all will then be clear.
Make a hairbreadth difference, and Heaven and Earth are set apart;
If you want the truth to stand clear before you, never be for or against.
The struggle between 'for' and 'against' is the mind's worst disease."

I happened upon this poem in Jonathan Haidt's book 'The Happiness Hypothesis'. I must say that now, I totally agree with the Zen Master.

Bro. K.M. Joseph - The Beloved Cricket Brother of All Saints High School Heads to Rome

It was a pleasant surprise to hear from Denzil Balm, the committed coach of All Saints High School for so many years, a few days ago. The surprise got even better when Denzil told me the news. 'Bro. K. M. Joseph has become Assistant General in Rome,' said Denzil. A wonderful elevation for our 'Cricket Brother' from my alma mater All Saints High School. The first thought that struck me was one of sadness - oh God, I'll miss having Brother around I thought - in much the same way that one misses a dear friend.

Bro. K.M. Joseph being felicitated by Dhruvaraj sir, our geography teacher

But Bro. K.M. Joseph was not a dear friend really. He was our teacher - and one who encouraged sports and academics equally. Known famously all over Hyderabad's cricketing circles for his commitment and involvement in cricket and other sports, Bro. K. M. Joseph firmly believed that a child's character can only develop if there is development in all areas and not just academics. He was responsible for the building up of teams in All Saints, Boys Town and other Montfort Schools where he served all these years. All Saints, my alma mater, for example has benefited much from Bro. Joseph's presence and has built a wonderful history of sports and especially cricket, throwing up names such as Azharuddin, Venkatapathy Raju, Noel David, Abdul Azeem, Sultan Saleem and many more. Bro. Joseph involved himself actively in the administration of the game as well.

The cricketers who gathered with Bro. Joseph

But let me get to the beginning of the story. It was in 1978 or so when I first came to Hyderabad from Kazipet where I had studied in another Montfort school, St. Gabriel's Boys High School. My first condition to my father was that my school needed to have a cricket ground and we did the rounds of a few schools including Hyderabad Public School. But I fell in love with All Saints, one of the last schools we visited, at first sight. The sight of some disciplined young cricketers playing cricket with utmost seriousness in our little ground, dressed in whites, inspired me no end. Thankfully for me the Principal was Bro. Vincent who was also my Principal at St. Gabriel's at Kazipet and my admission was through as was my brother Ram's.

VVS Laxman, the Primary School Principal, Coach, Me and Bro. Saajan Anthony, Principal of All Saints High School

Hyderabad was a different cup of tea from Kazipet and I was intimidated by the boys (the language which I did not was one big factor) and I never summoned courage to go for the cricket selections for three years. I was happy playing table tennis. Many an hour passed by though, when after a round of table tennis, I would watch the cricketers practice from the ledge on top of the ground. I wished I could be playing with them too. But we heard rumours - they said our team was very strong. We heard of names like Azhar, Milton Balm and others who were our seniors, the members of our formidable cricket team. But mostly, we heard about the Cricket Brother and we saw him down there with his wards. For some reason, I missed Bro. K.M. Joseph totally in those four years I spent at All Saints. He never taught my class and I only played cricket in the final year in 1982 when he was not around. I am not too sure if he was around when he celebrated a famous win over Hyderabad Public School when we got them out for 70 chasing our own low score of121! Our school sponsored a celebration - a movie (we chose Jaws of all pictures) and dinner (biryani at Mohini and lots of ice cream!). Ehtesham was our captain, D. Suresh. Masood, Srinivas Chakravarthy, Iftekhar, Abdul Rub, Sanjay Bhatnagar who pulled off two brilliant catches, Michael, my new ball partner were all part of that team.

In the Rector's room with the Rector, me, Iftekhar and the President of ASOBA

I met Bro. Joseph finally when I was in my Engineering College at Osmania. I was called to play for an All Saints Old Boys XI vs Rest of Hyderabad XI in a one off game in Lal Bahadur stadium. And what a match it was. All Saints led by Azhar, had Khalid Abdul Quayyum, Venkatapathy Raju, Arshad (Little Flower), Vidyuth, Chakravarthy, Ehtesham, Masood, me and a small little boy named Noel David as well. Rest of Hyderabad was led by Narasimha Rao and had everyone from Vivek Jaisimha, Manohar, Anil Mittal. Sunil Phillips and almost the entire Ranji team. We won with two balls to spare when Vidyuth spanked a wonderful cover drive off his older brother Vivek in the last over when we needed nine to win. I got a couple of wickets and hit Anil Mittal for nine runs in the penultimate over which helped our team's cause. That was a wonderful win and I probably have the picture somewhere.

A moment's silence for Bro. Britto

As the years went by I met Bro. Joseph a couple more times - once in Boys Town where we played another game against a visiting English side. But I seriously met him only a few years ago when I wrote my first novel 'The Men Within' which carried many shades of the memories of my stay in All Saints. I was apprehensive of how a cricket novel would be received and wanted a testimonial from an academic who also understood the game and what it could do to school boys. I traced Bro. Joseph in Nagpur and called him up. I told him I wrote a novel and would be glad if he could read it and let me have a comment for the blurb. He was very encouraging and asked me to send it over to him and I did. In a couple of weeks I got a wonderful quote from him which I was proud to put on the back cover of the book.

His quote which was on the back cover read - The author has amply demonstrated through the pages of this fast paced novel that cricket - or any sport - for that matter, is played not only with hands and feet but also with the mind and heart. The skill with which the author has combined cricketing lessons and personnel management techniques is highly commendable. A very useful and effective handbook for every aspiring cricketer and coach. A must have for every school library. 
 
Now as I read it, I still wonder anew how perfectly he captured all I wanted to say through that book. When we released the book in Hyderabad, Bro. Joseph was one of my special invitees and I was glad to present both him and Baig saab a copy of the book. I was glad that he made it to a remote book store in Marredpally for the event - with Denzil for company.

Bro. Joseph at my book launch at Akshara Bookstore(March 2007)

My interactions with Bro. Joseph increased from then on and I spoke to him often over the phone. He was transferred to Hyderabad and I met him again when we were scouting for grounds for Golconda High School. He was kind enough to accompany us - Sashi Sudigala, Prasad and me - to Gannavaram in Vijayawada to check out grounds there. We had a wonderful conversation on the way where he shared much of how he could see the potential in Azhar even in middle school. But Bro. Joseph in all his modesty probably told me only a small part of the story.

A hint of how modest he was can be gauged from this story. I asked him during that conversation what the hierarchy of the Montfort Brothers was in India and how they managed such a large estate. He said that there were Provincials for each zone of the country and they administered the estate. I was curious to know who the Provincial was for South and when I asked him he was smiling. I was shocked - and I am sure Bro must have laughed at my expression. 'It's you Brother?' I asked. That is how modest he is. Journeying with us and sipping chai with us, chatting with us, while being the big boss of the institutions. He never ever lets you feel that he is the boss.

On stage: Principal of Primary School, Noel David, Venkatapathy Raju, Bro. Saajan Anthony, Rector, Bro. K.M. Joseph, Dr. M.V. Sridhar, V.V.S. Laxman and President of ASOBA

I asked Brother during that visit a question - what was your biggest learning in all your years as a teacher. What Brother told me is something I will always remember especially when dealing with people. He said when a child makes a mistake or fails, we should never condemn the child. We must only condemn the act and show the child how to rectify it. That was wonderful learning for me. It was wonderful to see how the school left the bottom three feet of the primary classes walls free for children to scribble what they want in that Gannavaram school. In little things like these, in the orderly way that the trees had been planted by Brother almost two decades ago, in the joy in his face and those of the people he met, we could see the difference Brother Joseph makes (and has made) wherever he goes.

All cricketers on stage

I took him along to the shooting of Golconda High School when we shot in All Saints - or rather he took me. And it was one of the best evenings we spent when Bro. Joseph joined a whole bunch of cricketers when we all went and watched Golconda High School at Prasad's IMax and hooted like hooligans. Iftekhar, Noel, CV Anand, Clement Michael, Vijay, Sanjay, Anil Kak, and many more cricketers joined us as we watched the movie and had a long long discussion afterwards in the coffee shop - almost until they shut shop. No one wanted to go it seemed and Bro Joseph was there till the end. My biggest disappointment of that evening was not having one picture of that wonderful get together. But I do carry the memory of Bro. Joseph smiling and enjoying every moment as he sat with all his wards.

When I walked into All Saints a couple of days ago alongwith many other cricketers Venkatapathy Raju, Noel David, Dr. M.V. Sridhar, V.V.S. Laxman (Little Flowers), Yuvraj Singh, Iftekhar, Abu Backar and new cricketers like Ahmed Quadri and Akshat Reddy along with many others to felicitate Bro. Joseph, I recalled a picture from the Sportstar in the early 80s that I kept with me under my bed for many years. Of an Under 15 Hyderabad team which won the inaugural tournament in Madras. Hyderabad led by Hariprasad had Sridhar, Subba Rao Abhijit Chatterjee, Bhatnagar and had won the final against a formidable Tamil Nadu side that had L. Siva, W.V. Raman and others. Sitting in the midst of this team with the Cup was their manager Bro. Joseph.

Me sharing my two bits

Memories of the years flooded me as we sat in the Rector's room chatting with one another, making fun and recalling the old days. Bro. Joseph hugged us all warmly as we came and we finally made it to the stage. All cricketers accompanied Bro. Joseph after which he was invited along with Bro.Saajan Anthony, Laxman. Venkatapathy, Noel. The rest of us watched from the audience along with the whole school as everyone spoke in glowing terms about Bro. Joseph and their interactions with him - none more emphatically than our teacher Martina who gave a dramatic speech laced with lots of anecdotes. I was asked to speak a few words and I kept it a few words literally as the kids were sitting a bit too patiently for All Saints standards.  As expected Bro. Joseph in his speech exhorted the children to not merely excel at studies because that is only one part of their growth but to play as well and play for the country.

We wound off the day with a small cricket game in the grounds. True to his spirit Bro. Joseph quickly changed and went to open the innings. He held me by the hand and dragged me down to the ground saying 'when will we get this chance again?'. I stayed for a while and watched the game before leaving the ground, shooting backward glances as Bro. Joseph effortlessly cleared the ground with straight sixes. To be the legend of the Cricket Brother is no mean achievement and one knows why Bro. Joseph rose so high and so quickly up the order. As Assistant General he becomes one of the five, who are third in the Montfort Brothers hierarchy, who administer estates in over 33 countries. For someone who had the vision to see how important sports is to the development of  a child, who never shied away from responsibility as shown in his taking up the challenging manager's role for the first tournament in Madras and his immense love for children which is exemplified in all that he has done, Bro. Joseph truly is deserving of his elevation and more.

Some more from me as Bro. K.M. Joseph looks on from behind

For me he always passes the gold standard of greatness as I read in a quote somewhere - that a great man is one who makes one who is lesser than him feel like an equal. If there is one thing about Bro. Joseph that defines him, it is this quality, this humility, modesty and complete security of knowing his place in the scheme of things. We can talk to him with the comfort of being his friend, but we all will always respect him from the deepest parts of our souls. From Azhar down to the youngest child in the school.

Bro. Joseph and I had planned to write some stories for children based on certain ideas he had,, and that was the first thing he mentioned when I called to congratulate him. I told him that we should write those stories - he could send me the themes and I will develop the stories even now. And that I will. Meanwhile wishing Bro. Joseph a wonderful tenure in Rome and wishing him many more years of wonderful work, where he touches many more people's lives in the only way he does - with great love. Thank you Brother for everything and it shall be my honour to write those stories we had planned to! Also, I hope to always access your wisdom, guidance and affection which you had so generously given me.