Thought for the Day - How To Make Those Momentous 'Decisions' Work Each Time

My friend Suresh and I were discussing the issue of how certain things get 'done' and why certain things do not. There is a rare energy to those 'decisions' we make about certain things - stuff we commit to, with all that we have. Those are the things we achieve against all odds, our champion stuff. Those are our big Wow moments, performances. We also 'know' deep down that we would achieve those.

Intense Concentration of Thoughts

It's Already Done In the Mind's Eye
In those 'decisions' it's as if what we set out to achieve, however hard it may appear and however impossible, is already 'done' in the mind's eye. Whether it is climbing Mount Everest or scoring a huge hundred and winning the game or cracking a beautiful problem for the world, its already 'done'. After that decision, follows the process of clarity of goal, planning, implementation, monitoring, correction and achievement - the process seems intuitive. It's as if we have already seen the end result in our mind - and are walking back to check for any likely obstacles and removing them before we start the journey. We do not fail at those. No champion fails at those.

The question is, can we do that whenever we want?

We would like business to grow, people to fall in love with, fame, money in the bank...but somehow things are not happening. Then we wonder - how did that other thing happen the first time and how did this not happen? Why?

The First Time - Fuelled By Emotion
The stuff we want to achieve badly is stuff that somehow defines us. So we will step in and do it. The first time.

But can I repeat the same feat again tomorrow? In most cases we don't have the energy to repeat that great feat. Which is why the world stood up when Virat Kohli did it again and again and again and again in the IPL against the toughest of circumstances where even one error spelt an end to their campaign. How did Kohli achieve that? How did Sachin do it in the Desert Storm? Can we also achieve like that, if we want to, at will? A second time? A third?

Desire Burns Out - We Need a Process To Repeat That Performance a 2nd, 3rd time
Let's take desire out of the equation - simply because desire burns out at some point - we find we do not have focused energy. Until then, desire holds our energies together. But in a situation that's not life and death, when we already have achieved one big performance or two, what is it that we need to keep our performances at such high levels to achieve whatever we want?

More efficiently.

To do anything more efficiently, we need to practice it until it becomes second nature. Until it becomes our nature. Like Suresh says,, we slip into it and enjoy it.

The Key Ingredient - Concentrated Focus
The answer as I see it, is a practice of concentrated focus of our energies or our attentions. When we achieved it the first time, it was this intense focus that helped. An uncluttered focus. What we need to have, when we wish to repeat the same champion act, is the same focus that we took to that first act. That's the key ingredient.

Loss of Focus - Distractions
When we wish to repeat the act next time, we could distract ourselves in many ways. Doubt, fear, uncertainty, lowering of standards, taking the easy route out are all ways. We take our foot off the pedal. Whatever it is, to achieve something of that magnitude, we need 100% focus.

Measuring Where Our Focus Lies
A simple measure for to see where our focus lies is this - where are my thoughts directed right now? If over 80% - 100% are directed towards your goal, chances are high that you will achieve it - again. Simply because your mind is building momentum. But if your thoughts have slipped down to 40% or less and you are thinking of whether it will happen or not, why you are not focusing, of other things like facebook, blogs, phones etc you have lost focus, the plot. You are not bringing enough focus, enough concentration to the job.

There is simply not enough energy behind your goal so it will never take off.

The Process 

• Be clear on what you want to achieve. It must be a clear goal that is measurable. 
• Observe your thoughts. Put all your thoughts on how to achieve that goal. So much so that it should occupy 100% of your thoughts. You sleep, its the last thought, you wake up, its the first thought. It must consume you.
• To get that kind of a focus you need to eliminate all thoughts and influences that are not aligned to your goal or purpose.  
• Practice the awareness of knowing where your thoughts are. Then try and improve from 10 to 20 to 30 to 50 to 80%.

For starters it gives clarity. Then comes a rare energy from eliminating other dissipating thoughts. Keep your thoughts high in that 80%-100% state and you will find ways to achieve that goal. You will create a thing of beauty.

Virat Kohli - My Take
Virat Kohli does that I would think. He challenges himself moment to moment. He has trained himself to challenge every moment, and enjoy winning each fight, every moment. Those little moments are where he takes his 100% focus to, and that's why he is frighteningly intense. A catch, a stop, a wicket, a boundary...they are all little victories for him. He has practiced that level of concentration and its now second nature to him. For most others that kind of intense concentration comes only in rare moments - mainly because the focus gets diluted by other thoughts. Because it is tiring and hard work and discipline.

It's Not Hard, It's Actually Easy In the Longer Run If You Discipline Yourself
Though it may seem hard, it actually is easy in the long run. (Like running long distance may seem tough on day one but with practice, it becomes easy.) Mainly because you have built up emotional and mental muscle through discipline.

Let's say today my thoughts are 10% on my main goal and 10% on facebook, 10% on checking useless content, 10% on watching TV, 10% on hanging out with friends that dont align with my goal etc. Obviously no one act is receiving enough momentum to go anywhere. But instead if I start accumulating all my thoughts and directing them towards the one key goal, I will start finding ways to crack it. My thoughts around it go from 10% to 20% and then 30, 40, 50, 60. Obviously there will be a change in what's happening outside if we bring in that kind of focus. We are building up high energy in this activity and therefore we will attract similar high energies. Our mind does not strain after a while because we are used to that.

After Discipline. It Becomes Second Nature
In time, after the initial struggle of maintaining discipline, it becomes second nature. Now you start missing it, if you don't do it. From this discipline will emerge great work borne out of intense concentration. In time, you will become that act subconsciously.

Transition from the Chance One Performance to Consistent Performances NOW
Eliminate all other thoughts. Keep that one goal in mind. Draw all thoughts towards achieving it. Put all focus and energy behind it. I believe, nothing in the world can stop that force. The one thing that can stop it is us - and our interfering thoughts. As practice, start concentrating on the one thing that will make people go Wow and give it focus. Be aware of where your thoughts are. Focus, Refocus, Discipline. You got it.

What's that one thing you want to give your focus to right now?

Sabrina - Movie Review

Ah what a delightful movie. Audrey Hepburn, Humphrey Bogart. Crackling dialogue. Lovely scenes. Great acting. Superb directing.

Sabrina (Hepburn), daughter of the chaffeur of an immensely rich family, loves the playboy son of the rich man. The other son (Bogart) is a serious businessman who is only interested in growing his business - to the extent of marrying his brother to a rich man's daughter with interests that will be beneficial to the business.

Sabrina is sent to Paris to do a course in cooking and returns completely changed. So much that people don't recognise her. The flirtatious second son falls in love with her and wants to marry her. In an effort to get his brother out of this new dalliance of his, and protect the business engagement, the older brother tries to distract Sabrina but in the process falls in love with her. A lovely, tight resolution.

Just the movie for the weekend. Leaves you light and happy.

Adultery - Paulo Coelho

There are books where every word makes sense. Even if we miss one word, we miss a huge part of the story. And then, there are books where you can sweep through the page in a second, register a word or two, move on, and you still haven't missed a thing. Like those movies where you can go out for a long break, come back and you haven't missed anything - mainly because nothing is happening. 'Adultery' falls in the second category. Nothing in you makes you want to read this book at all - it's just so loosely written. And it's so sad to see Paulo Coelho write something like this. 'Adultery' catches your eye with the title and the author's name (and you get an inkling of how its going to turn out too because of the cheap seduction) and then its downhill all the way.

A rich, married woman who has everything anyone can dream of - great marriage, career, money, children, nanny - is bored with her life. She has nothing to look forward to. So she starts a most awkward affair with a politician with whom she went to school. His wife suspects, her husband does not. The affair progresses most painfully, literally and figuratively, and you wonder why Paulo Coelho put himself through this (and us). The affair itself is so out of character, so uninvolved, that we care nothing for the flat, self possessed characters. In the end she realises that love is the answer to it all and forgives herself, the politician, his wife and gladly goes back with greater love to her boring husband. Hopefully, with an eye out for a more satsfying affair later and more lessons in love.

This story does not even deserve this much effort. Bad writing. Bad sex. Bad everything. Avoid the book - even if the title draws you in. You're better off catching some sleep.

Chicken Soup for the Soul - Jack Canfield and Victor Hansen

I picked up the first edition of the Chicken Soup for the Soul, a book that certainly influenced my outlook on life, for the second time. It joins a select list of books I bought twice - Tom Brown's Schooldays, Tom Sawyer, Kahlil Gibran's Prophet, The Mindset among others. The book was nice and warm like chicken soup for the soul and made me feel nice.

My original copy that I had bought more than a decade ago had gone to tatters I remember. I also remember sharing that tattered version with my dear friend Anu Raghavan who, true to her careful nature, read and liked the book, but more importantly brought that tattered tome back every single page intact. How much we reveal of ourselves through our actions!

So I read the book again, after a decade or more, to see if there was a different take for me from the stories. The ones that affected me then still had the same effect.

• The story of John Goddard and his list of 127 goals that he wrote as a 14 year old and achieved about 100 of them or so - tough ones. 
• The story of the man who threw one starfish back into the sea at a time - thus making  a difference to 'that one'. 
• The boy who agreed to donate his blood to his sister - even under the scary and wrong impression he had that they would drain all of his blood from him. 
• Bopsy, the kid with a terminal illness and the firemen who paid one of their kind one last visit. 
• The kid who almost committed suicide but did not because a good thought came back - the ribbon he gave a person who made a difference went around to his own father who the boy thought did not love him. 
• Another kid who cleaned up his locker with the idea of suicide but who meets a classmate who offers to carry his load, takes him home, has fun and saves his life. 
• The crippled boy who buys a crippled dog because he thinks the dog will need someone who understands it.
• The lovely story of all the animals who are made to take all subjects thereby compromising their true nature and strength and making them do mediocre work with no self esteem. 
• The story of the man who does not cheat at the turnstile with his two sons ages simply because 'they would have known he was lying even if the chap at the turnstile did not. 
• The boy who grows into a confident young lad saying 'I like myself when I am with you' (how many people can say that when we are with them). 
• Students who burn their list of 'I Can't's'. 
• Novelist Nathaniel Hawthorne's wife who saved up for the time when her husband would write his bestseller and allows him to write just that. 
• The story of the Armenian father who digs with his bare hands for his son in the flattened rubble of a building that was once his school simply because he had promised his son that he would always be there for him - and how he finds him and 14 others in the rubble after 38 hours of digging with his bare hands and all that te son says is - "I told them you would come for me dad because you promised you will always be there for me". 
• The Zen story of the two monks and the woman - and how the older one tells the younger one that he had left the woman at the shore while the other was still carrying her.

I loved all the stories. This time round I was impressed with the idea of how many people achieved things just because they thought big, stayed focus, asked for help and kept pushing at it until they got it. Asking knocks down the ego, yields inordinate returns.

Nice. Warm. Thanks Jack Canfield and Victor Hansen. And all the others who shared their stories.

The Serious Man - Movie Review

It's a movie about Jews. A Physics Professor (I forgot his name) who is on the verge of getting his tenure is also on the verge of seeing his life fall apart, bit by bit. A Korean student of his who failed a test, tried to bribe him to pass and then threatens to sue him. His neighbour seems to be encroaching on his property. His half crazy brother is creating problems at home. His medical tests seem okay save the X ray reports that are awaited. A sexy neighbour catches his eye and she introduces him to marijuana. His teen aged daughter is always going out and stealing money from his purse. His son is doing weed and ordering expensive stuff. And his wife wants a divorce because she is in love with the insufferable Sy Ableman.

To get some respite from all this he tries to see the rabbi - the junior one and then the senior one and then the senior most. He finds little help. Life goes from bad to worse. he is asked to move from home into a hotel. his brother gets picked up in a bad place for solicitation and sodomy. Police. Lawyer bills. Divorce. And then, Sy Ableman dies. After his death, Sy is called a serious man at his funeral.

A call from the doctor in the end sounds ominous. A tornado is heading towards the school.I have no words really. Maybe the Jews can laugh about it. Why did the Coen brothers do this?

Humour in Cricket - Capt. Manohar Sharma

Captain Manohar Sharma was the only Team Manager that I remember who brought a human side, a rare professionalism and serious value addition to the team. He is a dignified man, someone you respect automatically. Handsome, nattily dressed, always with an easy smile Sharma saab was the perfect balance of someone who was approachable and authoritative. He was the Team Manager for an Under 25 match against Tamil Nadu in Madras. I was one of the four or five players who was waiting on the sidelines to play Ranji Trophy and any good performance here would do us well.

The day before the match we were taking flat, outfield catches. Some of us dropped a few catches which was not unusual and we proceeded regardless. Sharma saab walked into the ground and asked us to repeat another round of those catches. We dropped a few again. That's when he told us that in some grounds it happens - the sea, the breeze whatever. We took a few more catches - this time with some more care now that the issue had been pointed out. I thought that was pretty sharp. We normally look for that sort of inputs.

On day one of the game I had a bleak day. Actually not so bleak considering it was a batting track and a couple of catches were dropped off my bowling but I put too much pressure on myself (I have a penchant for doing that). Going wicketless was one thing but a misfield for four and my misery was complete. How could I, a Ranji Trophy aspirant, make such errors. I was despondent. As we walked off the perceptive Sharma saab did something I have not seen any administrator at HCA ever do - he called me aside and spoke to me as a mentor would. He asked me what was bothering me, told me that it's ok and not to worry. That was very comforting and I returned a much happier man.

When I went to give Captain Sharma the book written by V. Ramnarayan, we chatted for a while. He was kind enough to present me with a copy of his book 'Humour in Cricket'. The first thing that hit me was the amount of cricket and sports he played with such distinction and all that he achieved in his life. He played for Madhya Pradesh, Services, Hyderabad and played along some of the greatest names in Indian cricket - all of whom recalled him fondly. Most of all I was impressed with his closeness to his mentor C.K. Nayudu and I am hoping to look in on Sharma saab ad get some dope on his olden days, his reminiscences of C.K. Nayudu etc.

The Indore stories of the cricketers competing to eat, CK Nayudu vaulting over the high jump at 61 years, the contrasting advice he received from the aggressive CK and others on whether the hit the ball or defend were all interesting. When I visit Indore which I plan to sometime this year, I hope to visit some of those places. The prank played by M.A.K. Pataudi on the shikar where his men dressed as dacoits and threatened to kill the cricketers is folklore. Another unforgettable incident is the one where Pataudi placed a dead crocodile in Sharma ji's bed on a world tour. Absolutely unbelievable.

I am glad I read the book and now know Sharma ji more. He had achieved much in his life as an officer in the armed services, in SBI, as a cricketer and continues to actively contribute to society through the veterans cricket forum (thanks to him and the veterans forum I got a HCA sweater and cap which I cherish even now). He is very active in Uma Nagar Residents Association and is always looking for ways to improve lives that little bit more. The world could do with more people like Sharma ji.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading the book.

Waiting - Movie Review

A hospital in Cochin. Lovely backwaters. An old man who cannot accept that his comatose wife of eight years will not get better and insists she stay on artificial support. A young, newly married urban woman who has to cope with her husband's accident that leaves him in a coma.

How the two completely disparate people with two different lives and outlooks (and ages) become friends and in the process learn to accept their situation is how the story unfolds. It's funny. It's got more expletives than needed. But it's not boring. Fine performances by Naseeruddin Shah and Kalki. Waiting - is what they do. There is a bit of anger at how hospitals fleece patients and then there is a bit of doctors telling patients where they get off. Stuff we've all said or heard before but now it's been captured forever. It's rather sad when they put this stuff in movies and you feel foolish next time you want to vent because you are reminded of how stupid it looked on the screen.

Worth a watch.