Thought for the Day - Our Insensitivity to Children

The case of the warden making a school girl drink her own urine in the Vishva Bharati University, Santiniketan (or lick the soiled bed sheet for medicinal benefits or for superstition or for ridding the child of the bed wetting habit as claimed by authorities) is indicative of the kind of sensitivity we have for our children. Forget the children for a moment - we are really showing ourselves as tortured souls who are devoid of love and good things to share even with children and in our frustration and anger we do things that are as abominable as this.

Of course the most abominable thing about this whole issue was the statement of Swami Agnivesh who said something to the effect of how urine drinking is part of our great heritage and how some great people did drink urine. Swamiji, it does not mean that all of us have to drink urine. Perhaps drinking alcohol, eating meat, and certain other habits could be healthy for some people but we cannot force it on people. Swamiji in fact, in his immense wisdom, felt that since the child was only told to drink and not forced to drink it, she could have refused. Amazing sensitivity again from the learned god man. It is as if she was given a choice on whether she could drink or not drink - I mean, how lucky she was not forced to do it really! Does that not show how concerned we are for her? It is a sign of senility or some weird kind of a belief that makes people like Swami Agnivesh make these ridiculous statements that border on the self-righteous. And you cannot even bring yourself to show some love and compassion to a poor little frightened child - and invest all your sympathies with a middle aged matron who could not think of a better way to deal with a child who is already embarrassed, ashamed and perhaps physically ill. I cannot believe that Swami Agnivesh is not hauled up for his irresponsible and uncalled for statements by the child rights people. Imagine justifying the matron by saying that she did not force the girl!

Add to that is the wonderful 'regret letter' from the Viswa Bharati authorities who named the child thrice in their communication - an offense that is punishable by law under the Juvenile Justice Act. They are running an entire University with this attitude - of first protecting the matron, and then mentioning a ten year old girl thrice in a public release. What are these people made off? Is someone going to punish them or will the poor girl be punished further? Where is the rather vocal Mamta Banerjee who took such offense to the cartoon when such things happen to a child? Is someone going to arrest them for breaking the Juvenile Justice Act or will the 10 year old have to file a complaint?

Take a step back and observe how we scare and frighten the wits out of little children. From our so called humour or play with children where we pinch their cheeks, pull their hair, throw them in the air, block their passage, hold them against their will, to emotional blackmail to real physical abuse that is sadistic - we go the whole range. We cannot call ourselves cultured - any ass who talks of culture here should be kicked where it hurts most. In fact we do what any one would do when we find someone powerless in our hands - we torture, terrify and sadistically hurt them. Watch any adult with a child for five minutes and you will know what I mean. How much love goes in and how much abuse in so many ways (including forcing our opinion on them). But then, sadly, our adults themselves are victims of victims and that is our tragedy.

Dealing with children requires an enormous amount of creativity, empathy and compassion. They are not adults - they are little kids with minds and bodies that are still forming. be gentle with your words, thoughts and acts. Give them a chance fellows. Use your minds and responsibilities better.

I heard this story the other day. A young 5 year old mentioned that she wanted to be a teacher. I said that it is good and that she would make a good teacher. She said that when she became a teacher she would not shout at children. I got curious and asked her what she meant. She said that she heard a teacher tell a student friend of her that if she did not stop chewing on her pencil she would staple her lips. The very thought is almost like some medieval torture. Then, the 5 year old girl continued, the young girl whom the teacher had threatened was scared. She could have told the young girl not to chew on the pencil and that it would give her a stomach ache, said the 5 year old. Then she would understand would she not and stop chewing the pencil. Why scare her?

A good reason for the young 5 year old to become a teacher. She will probably be more compassionate to children than the current one. And hopefully create a better world. Meanwhile, watch yourself when you are with a child next. Give them love. Else get out of the picture. They can do very well without you.
  

Hyderabad Bangalore Highway in pictures

This is how the ride from Hyderabad to Bangalore looks by road. It's a lovely drive though sometimes it could have done with better scenery. A good car and an average speed of about 80 will get you there in 7 hours.

One side of the highway with a huge divider on the right of the road

On the road, wide and inviting

A dhaba on the way. Neat and simple food.

A better perspective of the highway, with bougaibvilleas

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anjali - Give Only When Asked

Another learning from the young lass. While travelling in the car I was telling her that I would have liked to give a chocolate to one old lady who was begging on the road (I normally give them toffees or candy so they can pass their time on the road in their tough profession).

Anjali instantly said - 'Give it only when she asks'.

'Why?' I asked in return, surprised.
'What if she does not want it? You see if a cat does not want to drink milk, it might push it away right? Even the old lady might not like it if you give without asking.'

I could not agree more. Give only when asked. There is much more value then. Thanks Anjali.

The Paradoxes of Our Lives - Growth is Within

When we go within, we grow.

Pic courtesy Pooja

When we live without, we become smaller.

The Hyderabad Series - Eating in Hyderabad

Eating in Hyderabad is a great experience and everyone is agreed on that. In fact eating is a fine art here and we spend most of our time eating and refining the art of eating - just as we do with the post eating belching, paan chewing and spitting are. So when asked what about Hyderabadi food everyone here puts on a knowing look and say 'Hyderabadi biryani' and that pretty much ends all talk of Hyderabadi food. All rookies find the first guy who serves 'Hyderabadi biryani' which is now being served by anyone and everyone. From the mom and pop store biryani made by cooks who have just been imported from the Andhra region (no clue about the H biryani), to the many guys who serve biryani in the same menu along with misspelt Chinese food and idlis and vada, right up to the guys who know how to make the Hyderabadi  biryani but are suffering either from a severe case of complacency or too much competition, there is an assortment of 'Hyderabadi biryanis' thrown at the rookie. Unfortunately, today even the supposedly best biryani, does not match up to the authentic taste of biryanis you can get (try a Muslim wedding) which is to die for.

Anyway, for all the first level biryani eaters, the advise is this. Please try and do some research on authentic Hyderabadi biryani in Hyderabad and then go about applauding it. Don't eat it off the guy round the corner and think it's the one. There was a time when Hyderabadi biryani was served exclusively in the Irani cafes and they all had a taste that was so 'Hyderabadi biryani like'. I can still tatse it. And over the years, from the early eighties to now, many a restaurant has claimed, by popular vote, to be the best biryani house in Hyderabad. Early on it was Alpha hotel near the Secunderabad railway station which had the honour of being the best H biryani hotel. People raced out of trains to grab a packet and race back. For many years I found no competition for Alpha. Though Paradise is the reigning queen of the Hyderabad biryani now, there were many claimants in between - Moghul darbar at Liberty, Azizia at Nampally, Asian Cafe at Nampally, Parwaaz at the same place, Bombay restaurant at Gunfoundry, Niagara in the old city, Madeena and Shadab near Charminar, Bahaar at Basheerbagh, Astoria Cafe at RTC cross roads, Garden restaurant at Clock Tower which were all Irani cafes known for their fine biryanis. There was Mohini at Basheerbagh which served wonderful zafrani biryani, and probably the best mutton biryani I ate in Hyderabad, for one short period of time. Surprisingly most restaurants find it difficult to maintain the quality and they lose out after a while. All good but for a genuine taste of biryani one must at least once taste biryani in a Muslim wedding or a Muslim house. Worst case, try some of the better hotels that offer the midnight fare.

But no Hyderabadi food experience is as simple as it was then in the eighties when one either ate a biryani at an Irani cafe or ate full meals or some Udipi fare like idli and dosa. On adventurous occassions we ate Chinese food at Blue Diamond, Nanking, Alex's Kitchen or Hi King. Or for chaat, the Koti joints. Or for fish fry the joints near Tank bund. Now one has so much choice that one does not know what to eat and where. A million biryani joins each claiming to be authentic (that word means that they are not), a million Chinese joints, Udipi's all over the place, Chinese joints from push carts to high end restaurants, barbecue joints, Thai joints, Sizzlers joints and regional food joints. There are subways, sandwich joints, chaat joints - enough to make you go queasy in the stomach. I really have no favorites left in the new order though I'd recommend Bade miyan's kababs (short menu which shows that he knows what he is doing) and especially the pathar ka kabab that he makes with the warqi roti. In my younger days at school in All Saints we used to eat the famous tandoor roti and mutton combination which was to die for. Ah, I loved that food.

Few Irani joints have their tradition left. Most menus have been corrupted by the idlis and dosa eating population. The leisurely chai and kheem roti or kaleja and other such delicacies (bheja fry being one) are fading out. Chais are extraordinarily expensive at Rs. 8 for a small cup but worth it after a good meal.

The desserts which are of Hyderabadi fame are the qubbani ka meetha (often mistakenly referred to asqurbani ka meetha by our public), double ka meetha and the like. There is the famous kulfi that Mohini serves which is wonderful and one cannot ignore the colorful falooda which must have come with the Moghuls or Persians. My vote normally goes for qubbani ka meetha which is always a pleasure.

During Ramzan time we all queue up to eat haleem which is served in the evening when the fast is broken. This is a wonderful dish, a porridge made of wheat and meat, ghee and dry fruits, and much more. It is delicious, heavy and protein rich. But it's something that I realised you don't get everywhere in India, not even Mumbai. Something of an acquired taste but I have not seen anyone stop with one haleem - they always come back for more. For haleems all the Irani cafes are in contention - some who make the haleem out there in the courtyard and serve till late at night. Pista House has claimed some sort of a legitimacy on the best haleem as I believe its haleem is parcelled abroad as well. They have many distribution centres and its well packed and easily available. A few years ago the Postal Department had tied up with Pista House to deliver the haleem but I am not sure if the arrangement holds still. All other Irani cafes and restaurants like Paradise, Red Rose, Garden, Bahaar, Melli, Niagara - you name it and they make it. In fact even Mohini restaurant in Bahsheerbagh makes some fine haleem. After six in the evening is when they start serving it.

Other foods to eat in Hyderabad - and I will stay close to that which is kind of peculiar to Hyderabad - are the snacks and street food. Along with your chai Irani restaurants serve an assortment of bakery items like Osmania biscuits, dilkush, dil pasand, tie biscuits and some more such stuff that can be consumed best with a chai. In fact the tie biscuit (so named because it resembles a bow tie) tastes like nothing on its own but when dipped in chai, tastes heavenly. Alternately one can consume chai with samosas. Typically the Hyderabadi version is called chote samose which are small in size and taste like nothing you have tasted on earth. Completely different but very addictive.

In regional food one finds little of Telangana food. The Rayalaseema Ruchulu brand has done a great service to that region by bringing forth the tastes of Rayalaseema alive wonderfully. From the ragi sankati to mutton curry and other Rayalaseema delicacies, this restaurant is really good for spicy fare. There are several Andhra meals restaurants including Abhiruchi, Bheema, Minerva and others that cater to the Andhra cuisine - the first one is non vegetarian and the other two are vegetarian. Try the meals with one side dish. There are a few Nellore cuisine restaurants with rather long names as well which complete the circle. Nellore cuisine is supposed to be one of the best in non vegetarian food with their chepala pulusu (fish curry) being the highlight.

Street foods include the mirchi bajjis and other forms of deep friend bajjis and punugulu and vadas, the ubiquitous paani puri walas, bhel puri chaps, and such stuff that is best eaten in the evening times when one is ready for a snack. Biryani, chai, kababs, qubbani ka meetha. There is enough for the foodie in Hyderabad.

My View - Sehwag on Dhoni's Captaincy

Sehwag's is a wonderful batsman but he is certainly not the greatest cricket strategist or man manager. For sure he is not a great captain, a below average one for me at best (revised from average after this year's IPL 5). His understanding of the role of the captain and the way the dynamics of teams works was once again exposed today when he commented on how the Indian team won the World Cup in 2011 because it was a strong team - backed by a captain who really did not have much to do what with such a great team going out and winning everything. It is time Sehwag (and for that matter Gambhir, who I would like to believe says it more out of modesty) learned that much of how the team performs depends on the person at the helm and not the other way round. It is the captain's job to get the team to root for the team, for him, and if he cannot do that, he is not a great captain. And if the team believes that the captain can do magic and pull the team out from somewhere, he steps into the realm of greatness. 

Dhoni's leadership record has been established and he need not even respond to Sehwag's rather immature and childish outburst. Dhoni won with a rookie team at the World Cup T20, showing remarkable leadership qualities in his first outing. He won the IPL twice with an average team. He won the World Cup against many odds (including the problem of king sized egos in the team's seniors). So if Dhoni won the World Cup, it was in spite of the strong team that he had. Among his many wonderful attributes as captain Dhoni has displayed one quality that to me is the key to the greatest leaders - he gets every player to perform as if he was the captain himself. How many times have his sides had the most unexpected heroes, has had everyone pulling their weight at the time that it mattered most, how many have benefited from his seemingly unshakeable trust in their abilities (far greater than they trusted themselves as Joginder Sharma found out in that World Cup). It is the highest form of man management. Dhoni has also shown an extremely high amount of responsibility as he constantly uses himself and adapts himself to positions in the batting order that are most difficult, sacrificing perhaps his own career statistics. The ice cool confidence he brings to the situation, the uncanny faith he has in his players, the excellent reading of the game and the situation and an incredibly clear headed and simple approach to the game makes him one of the greatest for me. He works on things he can control, lets everyone do their job without getting into their space and focuses on what he can do.

Sehwag, as captain, on the other hand has made some awful gaffes in the recently concluded IPL 5 despite having one of the strongest teams and the best starts in the tournament, including the one in the last game when they left out Morkel and made several other tactical and strategic blunders. Much of his approach as the captain is that of hoping for the best - go out there and enjoy yourself and hope that it all works out. Good captains close out opportunities, create openings when all else seems to be failing. They do not hope and leave it at that. Your players lose faith and confidence when they know that perhaps you don't have a plan A, forget plan B. Players can sense that and much of their confidence comes from knowing that the captain, like any inspirational leader, can pull out a rabbit from the hat. Dhoni has produced the rabbit more times than one.

Whatever Sehwag feels, it is the leader that makes the team. Going back to the old quote that it is better to have a bunch of sheep led by a lion than a pack of lions led by a sheep, one must understand that effective leadership is a fine art and a highly refined one. It requires a supreme sense of security, a fine balance between push and pull, unshakeable trust and faith in oneself (and thereby the team) and certainly being two steps ahead of the pack at all times. Few have understood or mastered this and Dhoni for one, at least knows and has shown, that he does. In recent years, one other captain who has proven this line of thought was Shane Warne, who did an incredible job with a bunch of rookies in the IPL 1st edition. One cannot find too many names in cricketing history that match up as great captains and perhaps Ian Chappell, Clive Lloyd and to a lesser extent Mike Brearley would fit the bill. Imran Khan, Arjuna Ranatunga and Kapil too. However for me Dhoni is in the highest bracket even with such luminaries. It is interesting however to hear Sehwag's views because I know that this is an argument that for many, could go either way. But for me, clearly it is the captain who has a greater influence on a team's performance than a team having its influence on the captain's performance.

12 Angry Men - Movie Review

Finally watched this highly recommended movie by the famous Sydney Lumet. It was incredible. How he held the story so taut with 12 characters in a single room, focussed on their job of coming to a verdict on a murder accused, is something one must see to experience. I was left with my mouth open at the audacity with which he made the film in one room (almost) with no names of characters and built a drama based on fluctuating motives and human frailties. Superb stuff.

12 jurors in a murder case are to decide unanimously whether a young man has murdered his father in a fit of rage. The movie opens directly with the judge telling them that they have to establish reasonable doubt and will need to be unanimous to pass the verdict as it is a criminal case. The case is established as the jurors, all men, discuss the arguments presented by the defense and the prosecution. the case appears kind of water tight, with one eye witness and another man who saw the boy running away from the scene of the crime. the boy has a weak alibi. That he is from a minority community does not help.

The jury it appears  can wrap it up in a few minutes. One man is keen to attend a match, another to get back to work. The vote has 11 men voting guilty and one not guilty. He holds his ground and tries to reason out all his doubts and discomforts about the case and gradually finds support from one and then another. As race, social standing, professions, nativity, prejudice come into play, more and more people join the one who proposed not guilty at the beginning, as he reasons with facts in hand, and tries to eliminate doubt that the murder did take place. He does cause the others to agree that the eye witness could have been mistaken and the old man could have been too and perhaps the boy may not have been guilty. I loved the way he concluded the last scene with the last man who stands for the guilty verdict breaking down, knowing that he has been too hard on his own son which is why he has lost him. It does not leave just teh 12 men in the room richer for that experience, but all those who saw the movie too. Forever Henry Fonda's character will be an inspiration for me when I am faced with a situation that I do not completely believe in. I will hold my ground and try to make sense of my feelings and my doubts and get them across but I will not vote for what I will not believe in.

Superb casting and amazing story telling. The guys look the part, you can actually guess their professions and personalities from their looks and behavior, their prejudices and the way it colours their judgment is brilliantly shown. Brilliant stuff and one that amazes you with how much can be done if you have a good idea and are willing to work on it. Must see for anyone.