Gretchen Rubin was a lawyer who worked with some of the best before embarking on her happiness project. Sometime in that stage of epiphany she discovered that the days are long and the years are short and we need to focus on things that really men something to us and give us contentment. So she embarked on a year long 'Happiness Project' with specific focus on a few things every month. Every once in a while she springs a brilliant quote like 'There is no love: only proofs of love' - Pierre Reverdy. Or 'It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich - Sarah Bernhadt. Or simply - that happiness takes energy and discipline!
In January her focus was on vitality and she figured ways to boost energy which were trying to sleep early, get some exercise, reorganising her space, tackle a nagging task and act more energetic. All of which I full endorse - mostly the things we postpone - those nagging tasks. (Now let me see how I am doing here - I am not sleeping early, am getting moderate exercise, am reorganising but not enough to include writing time for my novel and other creative stuff, and am certainly not acting more energetic - maybe I should - it will probably make me less grumpy!)
In February the theme was to 'Remember Love' and she focused on her partnership /marriage. She stopped nagging, stopped expecting praise and appreciation, remembered to fight right, no dumping old stuff on the partner and showing 'proofs of love'. (I think I am doing better with nagging, don't expect praise and appreciation too much but I know I am not fully there, I do not fight right (much to learn there), and I try to show proofs of love which I believe in as a philosophy but perhaps do not practice it as much.)
In March the theme was to 'Aim Higher' and the area to apply was work. Here she launched a blog, enjoyed the fun of failure, learned to ask for help, learned to work smart and enjoying the present moment. (I blog, fail enough and am ok with it, have learned to ask for help, not sure if I work smart and try to enjoy the moment.)
In April the theme was 'Lighten Up' and the area of work was Parenting. She began to sing in the morning, started acknowledging her feelings, started being a treasure house of memories and began to take time for projects. (I am not singing in the morning but I used to and can start again, not good with acknowledging my feelings but I can try, I am the memory collector and have loosened up a bit, and perhaps I take time for certain projects like teaching A how to ride a bike, or stuff like that).
In May the theme was to 'be serious about play ' and focus on leisure. Gretchen looked for fun, practiced being silly, went off the path and started a collection. (I look for fun but not enough, I am silly but only with people I know, haven't gone off the path which has been a huge aspiration of mine and have started a collection - books, pictures mostly)
In June her theme was to make time for Friends so she remembered birthdays, showed up for every invitation, stopped gossiping, made three new friends. (I am good with birthdays, show up for most, gossip, and I need to make 3 new friends)
In July the theme was to 'Buy Happiness' which was in the area of money. She went on a modest splurge, bought out all needful stuff, spend and lived something up. (I have been pushing myself to splurge modestly like a family outing to a five star hotel, taking A to Hard Rock and stuff like that, focused on the needful stuff which I am forced to buy, not so much for spending out but I would like to and have not lived something up - again aspirational. I feel i don't deserve to spend on myself, splurge on myself and need to change that with certain acts like buying myself good clothes, shoes, getting massages etc.
In August the theme was 'Eternity' and Gretchen reading memoirs of catastrophes, practiced gratitude and did some spiritual work like imitating a spiritual master. (I read and watch catastrophes and in some way feel i am living a catastrophe, practice gratitude though not fully and try to pick one or two things from spiritual masters - like making my bed and putting my shoes in the rack everyday like Master Chang said)
In September she says 'Pursue a Passion' an embarked on writing a novel in 30 days, made time for herself and others, forgot about results and enjoyed processes and mastered a new tech. (I need to get back to my novel and get it out in 30 days, haven't the inclination to master a new tech - in fact I want to get away from tech)
In October she practiced 'Mindfulness' and meditated on koans, maintained a food diary, did stuff to stimulate the mind in new ways. (I like the bit about stimulating the mind in new ways, meditating but not on koans which drive me nuts, and a food diary is a good idea too)
In November her theme was 'attitude' and focus was on being contented. She laughed out loud, practiced good manners, gave positive reviews and found an area of refuge. I could laugh out loud a lot more, could improve my manners and could certainly give more positive reviews.
In December the Project came to an end and she reorganised, sang, laughed, blogged, asked for help,showed up etc.
Overall Gretchen says be yourself (or Be Gretchen) because only you know what makes you happy - so do that. She knew she could not always be in high happiness state but could be deeply contented by doing things she wanted to. It's a lovely book and definitely recommended. Thanks Vinod bhai for giving me yet another wonderful book to read and learn from!
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