Bad Newz - Movie

 Everyone is talking about 'Tauba Tauba' and that's pretty much what we ended up saying at the end (which is when the song is played - and i did not understand why all this hype about a person who is doing 'lakdi ka ghoda' steps). Anyway I am not the big boss of dance moves so excuse.

The movie has one flaky guy from Karol bagh who meets a classy chef whose dream is to win a Meraki star, the biggest medal any chef can earn, by cooking the best burrito bowls. He is persistent and she is easily flattered and conned and they fall in love and marry after which she finds out that he is still v attached to his mother and vice versa. Things quickly go south and they head for divorce and she goes away to distant Mussoorie and meets a hotel owner. Things transpire however that in one drunken night she manages to sleep with both gentlemen concerned and in a one-in-a-billion event, managed to conjure up twins fathered by each. From then on we see an endless ride of sacrifice, one upman ship until finally the sardar's ex girlfriend shows up with a chicken leg thus leaving the field open for the original husband and wife to remarry while he can marry his chicken wielding girlfriend etc.

That's the bad news!    

Kalki 2998 - Movie

I normally avoid the big bannered and hyped films because they always tend to disappoint by not matching up to my expectations. But the family was in town and we decided to watch a movie and hey, what better than Kalki 2998.

The movie is about an unborn child who will counter the evil forces of the world. Clearly the unborn child must be in danger from the evil forces. In this case the evil forces are themselves somehow making the child through some scientific act and therefore are not in a hurry to kill it - they don't seem to realise that the unborn child can kill them. Anyway we have a protector from 6000 years ago who has been cursed with no death after the Mahabharata war and in his act of penitence vows to protect that unborn child. Mind you, this chap was perhaps the biggest villain of the Mahabharata which is why he ended up with this curse of no death (which surprisingly many rich men want - to live forever). Coming up as his ally in this war or in this project of protecting the unborn child is another character who seems to have been reincarnated from a hero from the Kaurava's side. Now these two spend much time fighting one another leaving the unborn child and its mother to be rescued by many others who die in the process. In the end they somehow fight off the evil forces and we can assume they will team up now. By the time one is getting ready to find out how these two will counter the diabolical moves of this villain whose sole desire seems to be to live forever (the formula for which our man Ashwathama already has), the three hour film with many digressions, comes to an end with the happy hope that one will go back to find out more.

Only time will tell!    

The Happiness Project - Gretchen Rubin

 Gretchen Rubin was a lawyer who worked with some of the best before embarking on her happiness project. Sometime in that stage of epiphany she discovered that the days are long and the years are short and we need to focus on things that really men something to us and give us contentment. So she embarked on a year long 'Happiness Project' with specific focus on a few things every month. Every once in a while she springs a brilliant quote like 'There is no love: only proofs of love' - Pierre Reverdy. Or 'It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich - Sarah Bernhadt. Or simply - that happiness takes energy and discipline! 

In January her focus was on vitality and she figured ways to boost energy which were trying to sleep early, get some exercise, reorganising her space, tackle a nagging task and act more energetic. All of which I full endorse - mostly the things we postpone - those nagging tasks. (Now let me see how I am doing here - I am not sleeping early, am getting moderate exercise, am reorganising but not enough to include writing time for my novel and other creative stuff, and am certainly not acting more energetic - maybe I should - it will probably make me less grumpy!)

In February the theme was to 'Remember Love' and she focused on her partnership /marriage. She stopped nagging, stopped expecting praise and appreciation, remembered to fight right, no dumping old stuff on the partner and showing 'proofs of love'. (I think I am doing better with nagging, don't expect praise and appreciation too much but I know I am not fully there, I do not fight right (much to learn there), and I try to show proofs of love which I believe in as a philosophy but perhaps do not practice it as much.)

In March the theme was to 'Aim Higher' and the area to apply was work. Here she launched a blog, enjoyed  the fun of failure, learned to ask for help, learned to work smart and enjoying the present moment. (I blog, fail enough and am ok with it, have learned to ask for help, not sure if I work smart and try to enjoy the moment.)

In April the theme was 'Lighten Up' and the area of work was Parenting. She began to sing in the morning, started acknowledging her feelings, started being a treasure house of memories and began to take time for projects. (I am not singing in the morning but I used to and can start again, not good with acknowledging my feelings but I can try, I am the memory collector and have loosened up a bit, and perhaps I take time for certain projects like teaching A how to ride a bike, or stuff like that).

In May the theme was to 'be serious about play ' and focus on leisure. Gretchen looked for fun, practiced being silly, went off the path and started a collection. (I look for fun but not enough, I am silly but only with people I know, haven't gone off the path which has been a huge aspiration of mine and have started a collection - books, pictures mostly)

In June her theme was to make time for Friends so she remembered birthdays, showed up for every invitation, stopped gossiping, made three new friends. (I am good with birthdays, show up for most, gossip, and I need to make 3 new friends)

In July the theme was to 'Buy Happiness' which was in the area of money. She went on a modest splurge, bought out all needful stuff, spend and lived something up. (I have been pushing myself to splurge modestly like a family outing to a five star hotel, taking A to Hard Rock and stuff like that, focused on the needful stuff which I am forced to buy, not so much for spending out but I would like to and have not lived something up - again aspirational. I feel i don't deserve to spend on myself, splurge on myself and need to change that with certain acts like buying myself good clothes, shoes, getting massages etc.

In August the theme was 'Eternity' and Gretchen reading memoirs of catastrophes, practiced gratitude and did some spiritual work like imitating a spiritual master. (I read and watch catastrophes and in some way feel i am living a catastrophe, practice gratitude though not fully and try to pick one or two things from spiritual masters - like making my bed and putting my shoes in the rack everyday like Master Chang said)

In September she says 'Pursue a Passion' an embarked on writing a novel in 30 days, made time for herself and others, forgot about results and enjoyed processes and mastered a new tech. (I need to get back to my novel and get it out in 30 days, haven't the inclination to master a new tech - in fact I want to get away from tech)

In October she practiced 'Mindfulness' and meditated on koans, maintained a food diary, did stuff to stimulate the mind in new ways. (I like the bit about stimulating the mind in new ways, meditating but not on koans which drive me nuts, and a food diary is a good idea too)

In November her theme was 'attitude' and focus was on being contented. She laughed out loud, practiced good manners, gave positive reviews and found an area of refuge. I could laugh out loud a lot more, could improve my manners and could certainly give more positive reviews.

In December the Project came to an end and she reorganised, sang, laughed, blogged, asked for help,showed up etc.

Overall Gretchen says be yourself (or Be Gretchen) because only you know what makes you happy - so do that. She knew she could not always be in high happiness state but could be deeply contented by doing things she wanted to. It's a lovely book and definitely recommended. Thanks Vinod bhai for giving me yet another wonderful book to read and learn from!        

The Wedding Ringer-Movie

 2015. English

Tech entrepreneur makes millions of bucks but has no friends - no one wants to be his best man at his wedding with this too-good-to-be-true girl.  So he hires a man from the Best Man Inc which provides best man services - with interesting consequences for all concerned!

Thought for the Day - The Idea of 'Ease' in Life

 Ease (in my definition) is things sorting themselves out without us getting too hassled about it. Big and small, things, they all get sorted. We just walk in and things are happening just right. From finding parking places to conversations that could have potentially gone bad but turned out easy, ease is great to have in our life. 

Can it be had by choice? By design?

I believe we can work ourselves into that state of consciousness. To me ease is a consciousness thing i.e. ease outside reflects ease inside. If my insides are conflicted, angry, suspicious and rigid, I cannot expect ease outside in my life. (If life is not experiencing ease outside, check how it is inside). 

Let me take one step back - what's the opposite of ease? Again, in my broad definition, its rigid. Holding on too tight to things as opposed to holding them with ease (suffocating your partner as opposed to holding them gently). 

So some basic differences between being 'easy' inside as against being 'too tight' inside. 

1) Ease is about being light and loose with everything, being flexible, looking at things as 'hmm interesting' however earth shaking they may be. Rigid is about holding on too hard to things, being inflexible, not happy with the slightest change in plan or outcomes. 

2) Ease is about being open to all outcomes even after giving the best and not getting attached to one outcome.Being rigid is holding on to one outcome and not letting go of it to the extent of losing sight of any other outcome or possibility.  

3) Ease is seeing more opportunities thanks to being flexible and open. Rigid is not seeing any opportunities or solutions and giving up. 

4) Ease is about seeing other possibilities. Rigid is end of story. 

5) Ease allows you to step back when there is a setback and allowing things to happen, not interfering with the process - or rather taking ego out of the picture. Being rigid is going harder, interfering more with the process, and messing it up - going with ego. 

6) Ease is sensing the subtle energy. Being rigid is just being hard. 

7) Ease is about non-judgment. Being rigid is about judgment.

When faced with a setback, a person with ease is thinking - hmm, that's interesting, wonder what it means. There is a loosening of the grip, of allowing the energy to correct. There is surrender (which is not giving up) with the faith that the right solution will show up.And even if does not, it is the right solution.

In that state of mind, when the mind is light and loose, in a state of surrender, open to all possibilities, having given up control (no ego) - there is ease inside. 

When there is ease inside, ease shows up outside in our life. Nothing seems wrong anymore. Without our hard energy judging, forcing things, most things happen easily. Miraculously almost. One wonders, hey I just stepped out of the way and it happened even better than I could have wanted to.

Is it about being happy with what one gets - like a compromise? No, when there is ease inside we actually have the most elegant, the best solution that we could not even imagine or conceive. 

Somewhere at the bottom of it all I feel that so much about ease is about trusting the process of life, of this grander intelligence around us. And it always comes up with the right, the easier solution.    

Practice 'ease inside'. Get 'ease' outside.

What Men Want - Movie

 2019. English.

Caught in a boy club of sports agents Ali Davis realises she has to more than prove herself to be made partner. It would be great if she could read men's minds and voila, she gets the power thanks to Sister, a cocaine snorting medium. It has some unhappy consequences but hey, it turns out good in the end what with Ali finding love and a great career!

  

Man Up - Movie

 2015.

The thing is that I like British comedies because there is something inherently funny in the way they speak and go about life that I find quite compelling and that swung it this way. 34 year old young woman without love meets a guy who is looking for a blind date by pretending to be the blind date and they hit it off. There are consequences obviously and some interesting twists and turns but it all ends happily which is what we are always rooting for!

Yaay. Oh, by the way, the title 'Man Up' is the man telling the girl to man up and take a chance in life and not stay at the fringes! To love and lose is better than not to have loved at all he says.

I got my share of laughs so I am quite happy!

Life of Crime - Movie

 2013. English. Comedy.

Jennifer Aniston was the big draw to watch this on OTT but it turned out to be decent enough. A couple of loser kidnappers kidnap the wife of a guy (Tim Robbins) who is stashing away cash by cheating the system and find that there is no love lost between the husband and wife and that in fact he had served her divorce papers which she is not aware of. Meanwhile the husband has a love interest with one super chaalu girl called Melanie and well, in the end, it all works out well. Its funny in parts and is quite watchable. Aniston does make it worth the watch as expected.

Kill - Movie

 2023. 

Vinod signed up immediately for the film based on some review he had read someplace and when Vinod does impulsive things like this, it must be good. I had made up my mind to watch anyway so it was perfect that Vinod wanted to go too. 

Nikhil Nagesh Bhat's debut film based on an experience he had while travelling on a train from Patna to Pune is completely worth the money. The 1 hr 45 mt film is packed with action in a running train and every second looks so real and authentic. Of course its also the goriest I have seen in a film but then it seems fully justified considering the situation the protagonist, an NSG Commando (played by Lakshya) who is trying to protect his fiances family which is on the train from a gang of 45 armed dacoits. He has his friend, another commando for help and they seem to be holding the dacoits until they provoke the commando by doing the unthinkable. It's like Bhat got a protagonist to handle the trauma of whatever happened on the train journey he experienced then.

If you have the stomach for such action and blood, don't miss.

The Book of Tomorrow - Cecelia Ahern

 Cecelia Ahern is the bestselling author of 'PS I Love You' - a movie I want to see before the monsoon ends. She writes beautifully and her understanding and description of human nature really impressed me and many times I was left wondering - hmmm, how did she get all that across so well in so few lines.

The Book of tomorrow is a story of Tamara - a most interesting and rebellious sixteen year old with the mind of a thirty or even forty year old. The books starts sometime when her father has died - killing himself with whiskey and drugs unable to face business losses. Tamra is devastated and so is her mother. They move in with her uncle (her mother's brother) and his wife Rosaleen in a large estate. Tamara meets some interesting people - Marcus, who runs a travelling library and who gives her a book that writers her tomorrows today, Sister Ignatius, Wesley, a rebel with a mature head. Things stir well in the pot until some truths from the past come forth.

Cecelia writes well and her characters stand out clearly - Tamara is very well etched in my mind and so are many of the other characters. The visuals of the place are too. Mostly the angst that Tamara feels stays as well. I think that's quite a lot to achieve for a writer in a book. However on the other side, I felt let down a bit by the ending.     

Thought for the Day - Happiness is in sharing the Small Things

 No home. They live on the divider under the Ameerpet Metro station. A young family - the parents look like they are migrants and in their early twenties, two young kids, no belongings worth mentioning. No roof, not enough clothes, don't know where the next meal is coming from, no thought beyond the next meal or the next few hours. No house, no gas, no power, no water - and still they are happy sharing the few morsels they seem to have somehow got their hands on.

Togetherness. Sharing. Enjoying the moment.

Happiness.

And all around them people zip about in their cars, from homes, families, everything they can ask for but still deeply unhappy, unsatisfied, unwilling to share.

 

Nahir - Movie

 2024.

Based on a true story of 19 year old Nahir Galarza who was convicted for the murder of her boy friend when it looks like she is covering for her father who appears to have committed the crime. Nahir accepts that she killed her boyfriend by mistake but the story does not fully add up -  the court is however convinced and sentences her to life. Nahir however tells another version where she accuses her father of the crime but the court does not take cognisance of it. She is still in jail and her case is in the Supreme Court. 

Maharaja - Movie

 2024.

Vijay Sethupati is the stubborn, justice-seeking barber whose life entangles with that of an electrical shop owner by day and leader of a dacoit gang by night Anurag Kashyap with unpleasant ramifications for both. Many twists and shifts in time frames makes it a bit of a puzzle which we happily decode by the end and are also glad that karma has a weird way of coming back and biting us. Lots of violence and gore.

 

Mamma Mia, Here We Go Again - Movie

 2018.

A year after the daughter finds herself pregnant and opening the spruced up hotel Bella Donna to a grand opening so everyone is invited except the grandmother who of course will come and there are flashbacks and how Mom Donna met the three loves of her life and settled down on this beautiful island and of course Donna's two old pals and many more interesting characters and most of all ABBAs timeless songs that we can sing along with. 

Quite nice but without Meryl Streep half the energy is gone though Lily James seems infected with it pretty much.

Enjoyable hugely.

  

Moving On - Movie

 2022.

Comedy. A seventy year old (Jane Fonda) arrives at the funeral of her childhood friend and threatens the widowed husband that she will kill him. An old friend of hers (Lily Tomlin) and the deceased woman's tells her she will help her kill him by getting her a gun. Why the two women want to kill the husband and whether they succeed or not is the story.

The two seniors are a delight to watch as are all the other older actors who walk in an out of the screen.

 

Society of the Snow - Movie

2023.

The real life story of the Uruguayan football team that went down in a plane crash in the Andes in 1972. 16 of the original forty five survive 71 days in the freezing cold with no food - they have to choose to eat the flesh of the dead to survive. An incredible story of survival.

   

The Bangalore Detective Club - Harini Nagendra

 Harini is a well-known, published ecologist with books on ecology to her credit. In her foray into crime thrillers Harini brings to life Bangalore of the 1920s, with a female protagonist Kaveri, a liberal, supportive husband in a traditional and conservative society and some murders.

It is set in Bangalore with horse carts, long walks, gardens, Britishers and such. Kaveri's husband is a doctor and they are present when a murder takes place at the club. Kaveri sees certain things and certain people who are involved and pursues her leads. More murders, more intrigue, a relentless and intrepid investigator in Kaveri and the murders are solved.

Harini touches upon several issues of the day - religion, traditional beliefs, gender bias, caste bias, the British approach to Indians while also keeping a running commentary of the independence movement going on. Not to forget the ecological references to plants, shrubs, flowers.  She fully succeeds in bringing to life a Bangalore of the 1920s. I was quite thrilled to learn that the Bull Temple was constructed to appease a bull that was running amok.       

Beach Read - Emily Henry

 Picked it up from A's collection which is now my favorite hunting ground for light an easy reads and found this. Into the first 60 pages I had mu doubts but I slugged on.

 

January Andrews is a romance writer who has lost faith in love after she found out that her father had had an affair when her mother was suffering with cancer meets childhood crush and a literary fiction writer Augustus Everett who is living next door to her father's love nest. They end up challenging each other to write the other genre and I am not sure what happened to that challenge. Things hot up after the initial trouble and they both find that they complete one another - after finding some truths about each other.

The Unforgiveable - Movie

 Intense. Sandra Bullock is released after a twenty year prison sentence for the murder of a sheriff and wants to meet her only living relative - her young sister who was five when she was arrested. The turn of events unfold a deadly truth. Ends beautifully.

Sandra Bullock is compelling.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette - Movie

 2019.

Fun, with lots of interesting twists. Bernadette, an award-winning architect, withdraws and goes into a mental downslide when one of her major projects is bought by a real estate dealer and converted into a vacant parking lot or something. Her behavior goes from strange to worse and includes causing damage to the neighbour's house by letting the hillside from her residence slide over, dealing with some weird virtual assistant for all her needs (turns out to be a  Russian mafia), taking some prescription drugs etc. Anyway, pushed to a corner by her husband who insists that she check into a hospital for her mental health she runs away - to the South Pole. I liked it.

     

Black Dahlia - Movie

 It's based on a novel based on a real incident circa 1947 - Elizabeth Short a small time actor was gruesomely murdered - the killer has never been caught. The press somehow called it the 'Black Dahlia' case based on a film called called Blue Dahlia or something.

The film is based on the murder but takes off into a convoluted plot around it and its no surprise that the film didn't do well and de Palma suffered a bit. But it got nominated for some award and that's why I saw it. Wish I hadn't.

Man, Woman and Child - Erich Segal

 One page into it and I realised 'Masoom' was adapted from it. But still reading the original story was wonderful. Erich Segal tells the story well of a family that is suddenly confronted with an uncomfortable secret.

The Beckwith's are considered the perfect family - both Robert and Sheila are academics and they have the perfect life with their two school going daughters. Until Bob gets a call from France saying that Nicole died and left behind a son fathered by Bob when they met briefly. Bob is urged to meet the boy and despite his initial reluctance agrees to meet him. He confesses his affair to Sheila who gets mad initially but then agrees to let the boy stay with them for  month. How the polite, sad ten year old Jean Claude's arrival throws up a bunch of emotions unknown to the Beckwiths and how they make peace with it, is the rest of the story.

'Masoom' was a brilliant adaptation of the novel. Haven't seen the English version though. Ticked off! 

Here Today - Movie

 Billy Crystal stars in this story he wrote about a comedy writer dealing with steadily oncoming dementia, the pain of having lost a wife he loved so much, a difficult relationship with his kids and some people at work he cannot stand. But then he finds a young singer, a feisty woman who brings a lot of love, the present moment and fun into his otherwise falling apart life. Ends up  coming to a good place. Nice music.

Enjoyed it.

 

Normal People - Sally Rooney

 Sally Rooney is considered one of the top 100 influential people in the world according to Time (one wonders how they figure that out) and is considered one of the brightest literary talents in the world right now. I found 'Normal People' in Anjali's shelf and started reading it.

It starts off with two characters Connell and Marianne who study in the same school. Connell's single mom works as a cleaner in Marianne's mansion. Marianne is considered to be a social misfit, ugly, but she has a special charm for Connell. The two have a relationship based on Connell's trust that Marianne would not go and tell everyone about it - in school he is popular as an all rounder who plays football and also studies well and is good looking. Marianne keeps the secret which means that Connell completely acts like he does not know her outside of their relationship. They break up when he decides to ask a popular girl out for the school gala without asking Marianne because he is too embarrassed to be seen with a loser like her. 

They go to college where the roles reverse. Rich Marianne gets popular because of he money and social status while Connell is lagging behind as a poor boy. They continue to have their secret affair/friendship going while dating others. It continues throughout the book - the bond these two share is deeper than any other they experiment with but they never come out with it until the end - she with her deep insecurities which make her put up with severe abuse in all her relationships, almost craving it, and he stops trying to look good for others and listens to what he wants. He ends up writing, she ends up going back to him as she is. They remain friends, always coming back to one another, somehow finding a space to be themselves, to be ok with their insecurities and fears and not be judged for it.

Its told very nicely and brings out the vulnerabilities and frailties of both the characters, subtly showing the honesty and the dishonesty they share. Definitely a book one will not forget - you may forget the characters but that feeling remains, something we all may have experienced, and that is what Sally Rooney achieved through 'Normal People'. It is for all the times when you were sure but something made you hold back.     

Tumse Na Ho Payega - Movie

 2023. Hindi.

Bored with his monotonous IT job, young Gaurav shoots his mouth off about how bored he is and God listens to him - his boss fires him. Back at home he finds a moment of epiphany and starts a startup called 'Maa's Magic' or something to that effect where he delivers mom-cooked food to bachelor boys working in the big city. Startup succeeds, grows big enough to control him, he fires the moms and hires machines, loses business friends and girl, and then comes back with moms blessings. Those friends of his were good fun.

Nice and warm though predictable. But then we have seen so much that it is difficult not to predict. Or whatever. Overall, nice like the mom's dabbas.

    

To Olivia - Movie

 2021. The movie is based on the marriage and the troubles faced by author Roald Dahl with his film star wife Patricia Neal. Olivia is their first daughter (named Olivia Twenty because when she was born Dahl had twenty dollars in his pocket.

The family has a good life until their son has an accident when he is four and suffers brain damage. Then Olivia dies of measles which devastates Dahl who dotes on her. He shuts off the world, his wife, his children and retreats into a lonely world. His loss of Olivia distances him from his second child Tessa. When Patricia leaves him seeking space from his behavior and wanting to restart her career with a film with Paul Newman, she comes after her to America. Neal ends up winning an Oscar for her part in that film 'Hud'. The couple see happier times for a while after that.

Much of Dahl's personality comes out in the film - his writing in his secluded room, sharpening his pencils,  his muse a little boy who appears and seems to guide him, his penchant to eat chocolates and makes balls of the silver foil, scotch at hand, his extreme sensitivity to criticism. The walks to the local chocolate shop with his children, their suggestions for his book including a river of chocolate etc are endearing. Neal fell sick and was nurtured to good health by Dahl and a band of associates. Both Dahl and Neal supported vaccination for measles heavily.    

Watch.

Tess of the d'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

 Written in 1891, the byline for Tess of the d'Urbervilles is 'A Pure Woman'. One can guess how Thomas Hardy must have approached this subject in times of extreme sexual repression and gender bias. Tess obviously goes through the stigma of being impure which brings up the question of what is pure and impure.

The story begins with a bang when Tess's father who does not do much for a living except drink, finds out from the local parson that they are not the Durbeyfields as they mistakenly call themselves but are related to the noble d'Urberville family. This does not bring any great fortune to the family except a sense of grandeur. Tess, the oldest of their daughters, somehow manages to kill the only horse they have in an accident and is forced to seek employment to help the family finances. Her mother asks her to go to a well off family who go under the name of d'Urberville to seek employment. Turns out that this family has appropriated the title to elevate themselves socially. Anyway the young man from the family pursues Tess relentlessly and makes her pregnant against her will (rapes her in other words) and leaves her. The girl loses the child, picks up a bad reputation and goes to work in a faraway farm where another young man falls in love with her and she with him. When he proposes marriage she tries to tell him the truth but he refuses to hear and soon after the marriage confesses to her that he has had an affair with an older woman sometime in the past. She confesses to her affair upon which he takes umbrage and tells her that he cannot be married to her and leaves her. Tess is all alone, her father dies and the family is turned out of their house, when the first  chap who fathered a child with her, arrives to make amends by asking her to marry him. The husband who went away to Brazil also returns to make amends by which time Tess, the eternally confused, marries the  first guy. When the second guy (the husband meets her) she says she hates the first guy and can only love her husband who deserted her, and kills the first guy. The husband and wife run away for five days and spend a great honeymoon before the law catches up with her. Before she is hanged she tells her husband to marry her younger sister who is a pure woman. Thus ends Tess's story.

It's incredible how these guys think and behave, how she easily reduces herself to be their servant, how she is judged and how she judges herself. But those were the times and I am certain that it must have been a controversial one because the woman takes revenge on her perpetrator even though he tries to make amends by giving their family shelter and offering to marry her. Complicated lot if you ask me.