The Forty Rules of Love - Elif Shafak

 The book came highly recommended so I decided to get my copy. It flits between the life of a bored housewife who has fallen into a routine and has no passion or love in her life and the mysterious manuscript that comes to her to edit. As she reads the manuscript she finds meaning for her own life - taking on from the life of Shams of Tabriz and Rumi - and understand how love works.

The rules

How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we.

The path to truth is the labor of the heart, not the head. Make your heart your primary guide. Knowing yourself will lead you to the knowledge of God.

There are four levels of insight. The Outer meaning, the inner level, the inner inner and the fourth so deep that it cannot be put into words and is therefor bound to be indescribable.

It is not the ceremonies and rituals that make a difference, but whether the heart is sufficiently pure or not.

You can study God through everything and everyone in the universe. But if you are still in need of knowing where exactly his abode is, there is only one place to look for him - the heart of a true lover.

Whatever happens, no matter how troubling things seem, do not despair. Even wen all doors remain closed god will open a new path for you.Just be thankful for what you have been given and even for what you have been denied.

Patience means being far sighted enough to trust the end result of the process.

For a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Love can only be perfected in pain.

Don't confuse power-driven, self-centred people with true mentors. A genuine spiritual master will not direct your attention to himself but instead will help you appreciate and admire your inner self. True mentors let the light of god pass through them.

Do not resist the changes that come your way. let life live through you. Do not worry that life is turning upside down - maybe this side is better.

God is busy with the completion of your work, outwardly and inwardly. We are all work in progress striving to be completed, striving to attain perfection.

It's easy to love god. Difficult to love fellow humans with their imperfections and defects. There is no wisdom without love. Unless we learn to love God's creation, we can neither truly love nor know god.

Real filth is the one inside. You can purify your body with abstinence and fasting. Only love will purify your heart.

The whole universe is contained within you. When a person knows himself, he knows god.

If you want to change the way others treat you, first change the way you treat yourself. Unless you learn to love yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved.

Disrespecting differences and imposing your thought on others is tantamount to disrespecting God's creation.

In everything we do it is our hearts that make a difference, not our outer appearances. Keep both eyes closed and open a third eye - the eye that sees that sees the inner realm.       

Intellect and love are made of different material. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing. Love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect says 'beware', love says 'plunge'. A broken heart hides treasures.

Most of the problems of the world stem from linguistic mistakes and simple misunderstandings. Don't even take words at face value. In the zone of love, language becomes obsolete. And that which cannot be put into word can only be grasped through silence.

Loneliness and solitude are different. Solitude is being alone without feeling lonely. Eventually you must find a person who will be your mirror. Only in another person's heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you.        

 Life is but a temporary loan and this world is nothing but a sketchy imitation of reality. Only children mistake a toy for the real thing. Stay away from all kinds of extremities, for they will destroy your inner peace. Be mild and moderate.

It falls upon each of us to discover the divine spirit inside and live by it.

Every time we fall in love we ascend to heaven. Every time we hate, envy or fight someone, we are in hell.

Everything and everyone is interconnected through an invisible web of stories. We are all in silent conversation. Do no harm. Practice compassion. Do not gossip. Words do not vanish but are stored perpetually.

One man's pain will hurt us all. One man's joy will make everyone smile.

Whatever you speak will come back to you. When you say nice things about things you don't like - you'll change.

If you want to experience eternal illumination, put the past and future out and remain within the present moment.

Destiny doe snot mean your life is predetermined. Your destiny is the level where you will play your tune. You might not change your instrument but how you play it is entirely in your hands.     

If you have to strengthen your faith, you will need to soften inside. For faith to be rock solid, the heart needs to be soft as a feather. The only way to get closer to the truth is to expand your heart, to encompass humanity.

Nothing should stand between you and god. If you keep breaking people's hearts, whatever religious duty you perform is no good.

Aim for the supreme stage of nothingness. Like like zero. It is the consciousness of nothingness that keeps us going - not what we aspire to achieve.

It's not similarities but opposites that take us forward. All opposites are within us.

The world is built on the principle of reciprocity. Nothing will remain unreciprocated.

Its never too late to ask yourself - am I ready to change the life I am living? Am I ready to change within?

Even if a single day in your life is the same, it is a pity. At every breath, renew, renew. There is only one way to be born into a new life - to die before death.

A life without love is of no account. Love has no labels, no divisions, definitions. It is pure and simple. It is the water of life. And a lover is a soul of fire.

The universe turns differently when fire loves water.

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Shams of Tabriz reminds me of Zorba the Greek who seems to be a Sufi at heart. The rules are simple - only love can heal and change. Thanks for the recommendation!