Karen Armstrong is a leading commentator on religious affairs who spent seven years as a Catholic nun in the 60s, authored 16 books which include biographies of Buddha and Mohammad. Karen champions Compassion as a quality to develop and one which she says is at the heart of all religions.
Compassion is "to endure something with another person, to put ourselves in someone else's shoes". She refers to what is the Golden Rule which simply put is that "all people must be treated as we wish to be treated ourselves". Confucius she says is one of the first to form the Golden Rule and he emphasised repeatedly that rulers should rule with compassion.
The concept of Ren is the quality which is noble, worthy, human, softness, pliability in which one can relate your experience to others all day and night. Buddha himself has said that Nirvana can be achieved by anyone if they meditate with four immeasurable minds - Maitri (friendship), Karuna (compassion), Mudita (sympathetic joy) and Upekha (even mindedness). If we are not able to stay in that space it is because of the four Fs - Feeding, fighting, fleeing and reproduction.
Of the twelve steps to compassion we first
1) Learn about compassion - Practice Ren- which is to behave away from home as though you were in the presence of an important guest. Start practicing compassion within your family and then society. What is hateful to you do not give to another person. One interesting line is this - who is mighty one asks and the answers is - one who turns an enemy into a friend.
2) Look at your own world - Start being compassionate with family first (where we are most cruel normally). Start training in empathy. Make each member of the family feel supremely valued. Start educating kids in compassionate action - by actually being that person.
3) Compassion for yourself - Practice the Buddha meditation of Maitri, Karuna, Mudita and Upekha which is an act of being compassionate with yourself.
4) Empathy - Our pain can be an education. She suggests a meditation where one meditates in concentric circles of people, practicing empathy on people we like and dislike.
5) Mindfulness - This is become habitual and segue into action. To be mindful we must detach from the ego. We must observe how the mind works. Interestingly the Tibetan word for meditation is GOM - which means familiarisation.
6) Action - Practicing compassion in action - Karen gives the example of how an ailing nun suffering from cancer took the trouble to tell Karen that she is good and is doing great work. That one act of kindness can change a person's life. Be disciplined in action - good and bad. She gives an exercise to do - think of when people went out of their way to help.
7) How little we know - Understand that we know little - so listen. Make place for others as a practice. We seldom make place for others in social interactions. Sit quietly and forget. Emptiness leads to empathy.
8) How should we speak to one another - Each participant should make place for another. Ren is co humanity. A person who loves the self should not harm the self of others. Karen says we have a choice to win an argument or seek the truth, we should be ready to change our views, to make place for others. Language is based on trust.
Work on the principle of charity, charity keeps no score of wrongs and takes no pleasure in the wrongdoing of others. Do not speak impatiently, rudely. Be mindful of the way we speak to others.
9) Concern for everybody - Making place for the more distant others.
10) Knowledge - Gain knowledge and it will temper you
11) Recognition - Karen gives the example of Christina Noble, an abused, abandoned child, and how she helped children in Vietnam despite her own tragic childhood thanks to a recurring image she gets of the sufferings of the children in Vietnam. She recognised her own suffering and used it to help others. Reaching out generously to embrace the pain of another.
12) Love your enemies - The only person who is fit to rule is the man who has overcome selfishness. Wish for your enemies well being and happiness. Karen narrates the story of Achilles and Priam from Helen of Troy and how King Priam goes to Achilles who killed his son Hector to release his son's body and how they grieve with each other for their losses, despite being on warring sides.
Interesting book. Some ideas to practice. Compassion for myself, how to speak to others. Thanks Vinod bhai.
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