Mysore - Memories of a Summer Afternoon

The entire trip to Mysore came by thanks to the kindness and love of good friends. My friend Aruna Manyam from our engineering college days, a feisty lady with a mind that's delightfully her own, a complete rebel and surely a lover and keen observer of life, was telling me how beautiful sunrises were in the balcony at their Mysore flat. I told her how I'd love to stay in Mysore for  a while, walk around and imbibe the place and perhaps write some (inspired by RK Narayan hopefully). She quickly offered me her place to stay and I took it up because I was going to Bengaluru anyway. One thing led to another and the trip came through.

The first thing I noticed when I walked into the flat was this old poster that conveyed some of the sentiments I believed in. "I love everything that's old - old books, old wine and old friends." I do remember reading a variant of that - old wood to burn, old books to read, old wine to drink and old friends to spend time with.

My sentiments exactly 

That does remind me of course of the kindness and love that was showered on us throughout the trip - my sister Mythily offered me her Duster to take along for the ride which was pretty generous considering its quite new, Vandana put us up for two delightful days in Bengaluru which we spent hopping across to Kanchan's house and back and on the way back, we had to stop by at Rajesh-Nisha's home which is a must-stop in Bengaluru for the easy vibe and fun conversation. It's not a bad thing to have earned such currency in the world. I think I can get by.

Ahhh

Mysore was hot.

But driving round Mysore was a huge revelation. Looking at the old buildings, the quaint parts of the old town, the coffee shops that remind you of the Mysore that RK Narayan wrote about, the many Tiffanys (Mysore for tiffins), the superbly old world Hotel Dasaprakash, the weather.

Marketplace

It's just so old world that you feel like wrapping it up and preserving it before some of the new corrupts it and devours it. I remember seeing this lovely 1950s kind of a bungalow that seemed to have been split between two brothers - one old world and one new,

The old remained delightfully original and serene while the new stood by, shining granite etc, frowning and hustling and threatening to take over.

The zoo then, twice in two years and it was still a delightful experience. It's small in terms of area but well presented and you see most animals from pretty short distances and get good views too. Contrary to what we heard about the zoo and the animals, most of the wild animals were around and putting up a show in the heat. The elephants, giraffe, rhino, hippo, birds, lions, tigers - nice.

This one was a huge show off

We were advised to lunch at Triple R or RRR Restaurant and we found one in the centre of the town but there was no parking there. I drove in and out of Dasaprakash where I'd have loved to savour a thali but protestations from the youngest member drove us away from within the premises.

Marketplace - like a 60s set

We finally lunched at the seedy Viceroy or some such name where the simple matter of a buttermilk could not be addressed properly.

Sleepers - Lovely

I walked a bit and found chaps sleeping contentedly in the tree shades in the mid-afternoon sun. Ah, life as it must be lived.

Ranganathittu Bird Sanctuary

En route to Mysore we stopped at the famous Ranganathittu bird sanctuary which is well hidden from public view. For those really interested in going there, it’s the diversion one takes after the Srirangapatnam town (Bangalore-Mysore road but closer to Mysore) where you see this huge island advertising some Young World or something like that written on it. You go around the island and find an arch leading into a road that's heading to Brindavan gardens. Still not much noise about Ranganthittu. Some 4 kms down the road you find a very subtle board that guides you towards the bird sanctuary.

It's my first in a bird sanctuary so I did not know what to expect. The area is about 40 acres and the six islets are supposed to have formed in the 1648 when the Maharaja Kantirava Narasimharaja Wodeyar built a dam across the Kaveri.

Birds

Dr. Salim Ali, the one and only man who made the name onithology fashionable, requested the Wodeyar family in 1940 to declare it a bird sanctuary considering the number of birds that started appearing and nesting there. They agreed.

And so Ranganathitthu came into existence and has become a resort for birds Indian and foreign round the year. Some 170 types of birds are apparently found there - we saw some birds we normally don't see (I forgot their names). We went in the peak heat of May and there were still enough birds so one wonders how the place would be during the October-December times. It must be beautiful.

Landscaping

Late December seems to be the time the birds flock here - same feather or not. Birds apparently come from Siberia, Latin America even and the number then is put at 40, 000. The birds listed in Wikipedia are painted stork, openbill stork, spoonbill, black headed ibis (saw that one), stork billed kingfisher, cormorant, egret, heron, river tern etc.

Bridge

We made light of the heat. After wandering around and finding birds like crows etc we headed back to the right track.

Birds

We braved the crocodile infested waters for a boat ride. You can see the crocodiles swimming along and we wondered why we were doing this. Anyway the boatman was quite confident and he knew his birds so he pointed at a few and named them too. The ride is well worth it so one should take it.

All set

Apparently you can book a whole ride for yourself if you pay some 1000 bucks or so but we weren't feeling so extravagant. We sat about on some benches. There's a small museum like thing there as well which gives some quizzes etc at which we failed miserably. If you're doing that road and have time, must do. You'll see some really nice birds.

A 'To Sir With Love' Moment - Thank You Students of Department of Dance, 2016, SNCPA

I remember watching 'To Sir With Love' as a youngster and was mighty thrilled with it. I especially loved the ending where the students thank their 'sir' Sidney Poitier, a lovely moment in the movie, and it has remained a favorite movie of mine ever since. In the same lines I also remember our Hindi teacher from those Intermediate years, Janardhan Tiwary, breaking down in class and sobbing, tears streaming down his face, on his last class in college. We were a rowdy bunch and we never really understood why he was crying to see the last of us. Maybe something deeper touched a chord for him but it was an unforgettable experience. Of course the farewell parties after my tenth class were favorite teacher-student memories. All of them were tinged with the familiar sadness of inescapable endings. It must be a difficult space for a teacher surely, those teachers who have taught for a lifetime, to see little fledglings grow wings and fly away to different destinies.

Post-lunch - Tejaswi, Shiva, Me, Anusha, Radhika, Sridevi, Vaishnavi

These days I teach a bit - something I never thought I would. I enjoy the experience (though perhaps teaching would be a wrong word, sharing would be more appropriate perhaps). I do like interacting with young minds and sharing what I know or what makes sense to me. My teaching expertise has mostly been used by the University of Hyderabad so far - the School of Management Studies and now the Department of Dance. Some random experiences otherwise.

A thoughtful gift

The course assigned to me, 'Arts Management' at the Department of Dance came out of the blue. From what I heard, the department was considering shunting the course out that particular year so it was a last attempt of sorts. I had done one workshop - 'The Champion's Mindset' at the Department of Dance, a few years ago thanks to the faith and initiative of Dr. Jyothi and Dr. Anuradha Jonnalagadda. Last year they invited me again to teach a full fledged course. I know nothing about dance being blessed with two left feet, but I think I understand the troubles of someone who has to both create and present a work and then, market it. I faced and continue to face these issues as a writer, and having been a salesman, a marketing student, a general student of life, I could add some value. It was also challenging - who would have thought I would be teaching a course in the Department of Dance.

Guess what?

I was sure students would benefit from perspectives of marketing management, the 4Ps, understanding themselves and their art as a product, looking at it from the consumer's perspective and also bits about the ideal mindset, preparation, skill and expertise, success, goal setting etc. The faculty was quite supportive and let me teach the way I wanted to. My first year, last year. was a greatly challenging and fulfilling experience and I think we did a decent job and perhaps achieved certain goals and objectives we had set ourselves. This year was my second.

A finely crafted wooden fruit basket (with fruit)

The Masters of Performing Arts class 2016 comprised of 12 students - Ardra, Athira, Vaishnavi (all from Kalamandalam Kerala), Vaishanvi P, Anusha, Tejaswi, Sreedevi, Chudamani, Radhika, Kavitha, Shiva and Srinaiah. Though I could not share as much as I did with the earlier batch, owing to constraints of time, I did what I could in the time we had. I found the students highly receptive and enthusiastic and in the end we did manage to achieve most of the goals we set for ourselves. (Being more secure as people was one, knowing the process of taking the art form / career forward was another and a third was to take 100% responsibility for one's career and life.)

All 12 in class with Dr. Aruna Bhikshu who consented to be the expert in the 'Meet the Experts' Sessions

To cut a long story short, the students gave me a 'To Sir With Love' moment by inviting me out to lunch and then completely floored me with a finely crafted, thoughtfully chosen gift - a wooden basket. I do think thoughtfulness is the best form of love, and the effort showed. I plan to gift them a copy of my '50 Not Out' as a small gift to repay their thoughtful gesture.

Thank you all. Wishing you a wonderful life and highly fulfilling careers.

Bangalore - Mee-Tsee-Khang Institute, Tibetan healing.

Ranjan, now past the cycles of chemo, has started taking Tibetan healing to treat cancer. There is much spoken about the efficacy of the Tibetan medicine administered by the good doctor Yeshi Dondhen, who was the first in charge of medicine in the Men-Tsee-Khang (Medical, &Astro Institute) in Mcleodganj since its inception in 1961 (in India). I have heard of a village in Telangana which has this high incidence of cancer and how they send their reports to the clinic in Mcleodganj and the medicines are sent by post at a cost of some 1200 rupees a month. I met one patient directly, my neophrologist, who after surgery and chemotherapy has started on the Tibetan medicine administered by Dr. Yoshi Dondhen and who looks great. In fact Ranjan and I met Dr. Krishnan before we started the research on Tibetan medicine. Interestingly we found that Men-Tsee-Khang has a clinic in Bengaluru too.

The Men-Tsee-Khang, Tibetan Medical and Astro Institute, is a 100 year old institute with 51 branches in 16 states in India today. Originally started in 1916 in Lhasa, Tibet, by the 13th Dalai Lama, the Men-Tsee-Khang had to be relocated after the invasion of Tibet by China in 1959 during which the 14th Dalai Lama and 80,000 followers fled to India. The Tibetans continue to live in exile since, without a land of their own, but safe in the settlements in India, mainly Dharamshala, Himachal Pradesh where the Dalai Lama resides. The objective of Men-Tsee-Khang is to preserve, promote and practice the Sowa Rigpa, ancient Tibetan system of medicine, astronomy and astrology. Men.Tsee-Khang provides accessible health care to people of all castes, colors and creeds. It also engages in research.

We went on Sunday morning, a couple of weeks ago, to the facility near Rajaji Nagar which is across the city from where we were staying. Kanchan and Anu drove us there. There was a group of patients waiting, of all classes, all sorts of health issues, some pretty serious and some not so. It's well organised - a house converted into the clinic. A pleasant receptionist who takes the consultation fee of Rs. 20 and gives a personal health record booklet. Consultation is similar to what the ayurveda doctors do in the sense that the doctor feels your pulse on both hands and prescribes medicines after asking you your health issues. I guess those with reports can show them for better accuracy in diagnosis. The doctor also asks if we have other issues which is probably an indication that we need to be careful about those areas. Medicines are given for a month or more and we were also advised to go to the centre in Hyderabad for the next visit. The medicines cost 500 bucks upwards for a month. The Bengaluru centre was inaugurated by His Holiness, the Dalai Lama.

It's amazing how many forms of medicines there are that are effective and affordable. As a supportive medical treatment to cancer I have heard some wonderful stories of people surviving well for seven to ten years and going - not one negative story yet about the Tibetan treatment of cancer. It does not cost much, does not require many restrictions. Dr. Krishnan however feels that it may be better not to take the medicine during chemo cycles etc but I don't know what the Tibetan doctors say about it. My take is that all medicine from good medicine men is helpful, one way or another. It cannot do harm.

There is an amazing amount of work done in Tibet on various disciplines - medicine being one of them. My faith in Oriental medicine as long term and holistic healing agents is high. For emergencies and diagnostics, you cannot beat allopathy though. I would like to spend more time and learn more about the Tibetan medicine though. For those wishing to call you can try 080-23496190.The Bengaluru clinic of Men-Tsee-Khang is located at 295, 5th Main, 11th Cross, Mahalaxmi Layout, Near Anjaneya Temple, Bengaluru. Timings are between 9 am to 11 am and 3 pm to 6 pm. Mondays are off. Website men-tsee-khang.org gives more information.

Triggers - Marshall Goldsmith

'Triggers' is a book recommended by Rajesh and he has a great eye for these books and a wonderful collection too - one that he shares generously. A life changing book for me that came from Rajesh's library has been 'Mindset' - a book whose ideas I use extensively. I read so many more - 'Pink', 'Good Strategy, Bad Strategy', 'Bob Woolmer's Coaching manual', Nadal's biography and so many more that I cannot even remember now. In fact I remember reading a collection of his books one whole week in Bangalore a few years ago and it has all helped me immensely.

Marshall Goldsmith is a man who is well known in business circles across the world and one who knows what he is talking about. So when he says - 'Feedback, giving and taking, is the first step to becoming smarter, it makes us more mindful about our becoming aware of our environment and behavior' - one needs to take feedback seriously. I did read his earlier bestseller and own it - 'What Got You here Won't Get You There' and 'Mojo'.

Goldsmith throws the question at the reader early - why don't we become the person we want to be. We have great intentions but we never do the acts that need us to get there. He cites some of the immutable truths of behavior change starting with the most obvious - behavioral change is hard. Then comes the others - no one can change you but yourself,

Goldsmith's key focus is on the one of two behavioral triggers we all have that stop behavioral change. He says our inner beliefs trigger failure before it happens. They sabotage lasting change by cancelling belief.
Some beliefs he throws at are that - If I understand it, I will do it (does not happen), I have will power (temptation always wins), today is a special day (and one of the many excuses), at least I am better than etc etc.

It's the Environment
Marshall Goldsmith says that the environment affects us in ways we do not imagine. We underestimate its effect on us. You cannot do things in isolation surrounded by people and things that influence your behavior. Even more difficult is the fact that we are dealing with a dynamic environment. To help us to keep our behavior on track he advocates keeping a track on our behaviors when they go awry. A behavioral trigger he says, is any stimulus that impacts our behavior. Behavioral triggers can be direct-indirect, internal-external, conscious-unconscious, encouraging-discouraging, productive and counter productive. More importantly, behavioral triggers are under control in the big moments - its in the smaller moments that we lose it.

Goldsmith says that we always have a choice. The key is to be aware of the trigger. He cites the 'Power of Habit' and the way it advocates a change in routine to achieve the same outcome - change in behavior basically.

The feedback loop given by Marshall is a variation of the UCLA template / Blanchard's ABC - which is Activator, Behavior and Consequence. Marshall looks at it from the aspect of a motorist speeding and fits it into the behavior pattern of Evidence, Relevance, Consequence and Action.
Evidence (data of speed on speeding car), Relevance (current speed versus posted speed), Consequence (of penalty or accident), Action (change in behavior). In fact Marshall's loop stops at behavior. The book itself is about behavioral triggers that mess up stuff big time for us - we all have one or two. Now if we can figure out a way to keep those triggers under control, much can be managed peacefully.

In a matrix of encouraging-discouraging and productive-counter productive environments, Marshall says, look to be on the side of encouraging and productive. This is similar to what we want versus what we need. Productive is what we need and encouraging is what we want.

I liked this exercise:
1) Pick a behavioral trigger you have. A goal you are pursuing in terms of behavioral change.
(Mine is someone asking me needless questions. that I do not know answers to, and do not want to commit to).

2) List people and situations that influence your performance (one or two triggers, define them) - Use Index cards etc to stop from pulling the triggers and inflicting suicidal situations on yourself.

3) Chart triggers if you're on the right side

Follow this - Trigger-(Recognise trigger, hold back your reaction a split second) Impulse-Awareness-Choice-(Considered) Behavior

Situational Leadership
Marshall gives a peep into Situational Leadership. This is about varying leadership styles to fit the need of the situation. In this form of leadership, leaders
- keep track of shifting lack of readiness among followers
- stay tuned to each situation
- acknowledge that situations change constantly
- fine tune leadership style to fit readiness of followers

The four leadership styles in situational leadership are
- Directing (no skill, no confidence)
- Coaching (some skill, low confidence)
- Supporting (skill, low confidence)
- Delegating (has enough to go on his own)
I like this.

Leader and Follower Within
Marhsall says there are both the leader and follower in us - the planner and the doer. Marshall says everyone has these two roles - and most times we don't follow our own leader's plans. (So why do we get upset with our team when they do not follow our plans?) Understand that the follower in you cannot execute all your plans. Understand that we are superior planners and inferior doers.

I loved the judgment exercise he did at a dinner table with his top clients, high ranking CEOs. Before dinner he tells everyone there is a financial penalty for every judgment they make while talking. They raised a seriously large sum. One gentleman had to go to the ATM to get some extra money. That's how judgmental we are!

Forecasting environment
Use the Anticipate, Avoid and Adjust principles.

Anticipate
When our performance has clear and immediate consequence we rise to the occasion. We create our environment. But we must watch for the minor moments that we may fail to anticipate. They will suck you down.

Avoid
Temptation. Its easy to walk away from harmful stuff but enjoyable stuff is more difficult to walk away from. Don't test yourself against temptation. Don't always engage, be selective. To avoid undesirable behavior, avoid environments where its most likely to occur.

Adjust
It's the end product of forecasting, It happens when there is despearton to change, or there is an unexpected insight or have been shown the way by another person.

Changing behavior is hard. Excuses. Rationalisation. We fail at what we want to be.

Wheel of change
Creating - Positive elements we want to create in future. Inappropitae behavior comes in one or two areas that color the rest. The impulse to imagine a different way.
Preserving - Positive elements we want to keep. Valuable behaviors must be preserved.
Eliminating - Negative elements we want to eliminate. The challenge is in eliminating what is enjoyable. Eliminate what's stagnating you. Behaviors.
Accepting - Negative elements we need to accept in future. Non acceptance triggers more bad behaviors.

Tune in to what you want to hear. Tune out of what you don't want to hear.

Power of Active Questioning
Marshall's 4 Magic Moves - Apologising, Asking for Help, Optimism, Asking active questions

Active questions normally put you on a relative scale of engagement - did you do your best to complete the work?

The 4 levels of engagement - positive, active, negative and passive. 1 and 2 combines to form committed approach, 2 and 3 to form hostile, 3 and 4 to form cynical and 4 and 5 to form professional.

Active questions focus on what the individual can control.

List of Active Qs to ask oneself everyday (scale of 10)
Did I do my best to set clear goals today?
Did I o my best to make progress towards my goals today?
Dd I do my best to find meaning today?
Did I do my best to be happy?
Did I do my best to build the positive relationships today?
Did I do my best to be fuly engaged today?

Daily Qs reinforrce our commitment
- ignite a motivation where we need it
- highlight differences between self discipline and self control
- shrink goals into manageable increments

Understand that change doesn't happen overnight. Success is the sum of small efforts day in and day out. If we make the effort we'll get better, faster. Eventually we become our own coach.

Honestly assessing the interplay between the environment and ourselves is how we become the person we want to be. Awareness and engagement helps.

Look for the lasting change in behavior that's most important to you.

A Question to ask when in doubt.
AIWATT - Am I Willing At this Time To make a positive difference in this Topic?
Ask yourself before you engage. When you engage, engage fully.

Remember the empty boat story - use it as a delaying mechanism between trigger and behavior.

Importance of structure
Alan Mullally's BPR exercise
- Attendance was maandatory (video conferencing for travelers)
- No side discussions, no jokes at others expense
- no interrupting, no cell plones
- no subs
- each one had to help the other in the room

Review - Plan, Stats, Forecast, Areas of attention
How can we help each other more?

Questions to ask on Structure
Where are we going?
Where are you going?
What's going well?
What can we improve?
How can I help you?
How can you help me?

Marshall warns of ego depletion and asks one to be aware of it.

Imagine You Will be Tested Every Key Moment
Marhsall says that we need help when we're least likely to get it. Imagine a test every key moment. Did I do my best to be happy, to find meaning, to build relationships, to be fully engaged.

Infact by committing to asking hourly questions we improve - pre awareness, commitment, awareness, scoring, perception.

Marhshall says that good enough is not good enough. We accept less because of marginal motivation (not enough skill), pro bono , behaving like an amateur at other places.

Marhsall advocates Becoming the Trigger
Meeting the issue not 50% but 100%.
"If I change my behavior, I change people around me."
It's nothing but taking 100% responsibility for the situation.

Ask yourself this question - what's the most memorable behavioral change you have made in your adult life?

Marshall triggers many questions worth pondering. Its the one or two triggers that hold us back. Can we bedn them our way with some discipline? He gives us ways. To delay the reaction to the impulse by identifying triggers, changing the routine perhaps, by keeping track of our behaviors through daiy questions, by being constantly aware that we are being tested. One needs desperation to do that. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Even behavioral changes! But if we can get around the trigger or two, there might be something different - maybe a pot of gold or the rainbow itself.

Nice Link - Jack Canfield's 101 Goals

Nice. Now to list the 101 goals.
http://jackcanfield.com/my-101-lifetime-goals-list-and-why-you-should-have-one-too/

Nice Link - Jim Carrey on Dreaming Up a Good Life

There's nothing bigger than myself. Tight.
http://www.filmsforaction.org/watch/jim-carrey-dream-up-a-good-life/