Personal Management
Practice the 3As
- Acknowledgement
- Appreciation
- Asking for help
By practising the above as frequently as you can, you will be successful at personal and interpersonal relationships.
Energy Management
In most relationships, we make little progress because of the insecurity that exists in that relationship. If two insecure people get together (and most of us are insecure), we act out of fear/need to control etc. If you want to change the equation and help it to move forward, you must change the energy in the situation. You must take the lead and be the 'secure' person in the transaction.
Being the secure person means - letting go of control of the situation. Instead of arguing or trying to make the other person see how right you are (which makes the person wrong and thereby more insecure), you are better off first listening to that person and what she has to say. Most times, the fact that you gave up control makes the other person feel secure. Secondly, that you heard their point of view without making them wrong, adds to their feeling secure. Thirdly, you can present your point of view, without making them wrong, and leave them to consider that.
By this time, the energy in the situation would have changed and you can have a more productive discussion or outcome. This is not to manipulate the situation - merely to get the energy to a state where a proper discussion can take place in a secure environment where no one is wrong.
Conflict Management
Conflict occurs when two people insist that they are right - and the other is wrong. Conflict can be resolved if one person takes the 'secure' role and steps back, allows the other person to air her views, listen to their point of view, not make the other person wrong. And when the energy changes, present your point of view as an additional point of view and not a conflicting point of view. No one is wrong - everything is a point of view - and all points of view can be considered.
Changing Outcome with Your Energy
When things are not working, change your energy - to change the situation. Since you control your energy, you can change its quality easily. Outcomes get messed up when we approach them with the wrong frequency of energy - anger, resentment, frustration, resignation etc. These energies and other such negative energies, will keep you stuck.
You can change your energy by practising the below
- Non-judgement (judgment will get in the way)
- Gratitude (be grateful to that person or situation for whatever it is teaching you)
- Forgiveness (forgive that person or situation (Including yourself) and let go of that unforgiving energy)
- Being present (being fully present will knock off all past and present and thereby all fears and other negative emotions)
Leadership
Practice the 3As
- Acknowledgement
- Appreciation
- Asking for help
By practising the above as frequently as you can, you will be successful at personal and interpersonal relationships.
Energy Management
In most relationships, we make little progress because of the insecurity that exists in that relationship. If two insecure people get together (and most of us are insecure), we act out of fear/need to control etc. If you want to change the equation and help it to move forward, you must change the energy in the situation. You must take the lead and be the 'secure' person in the transaction.
Being the secure person means - letting go of control of the situation. Instead of arguing or trying to make the other person see how right you are (which makes the person wrong and thereby more insecure), you are better off first listening to that person and what she has to say. Most times, the fact that you gave up control makes the other person feel secure. Secondly, that you heard their point of view without making them wrong, adds to their feeling secure. Thirdly, you can present your point of view, without making them wrong, and leave them to consider that.
By this time, the energy in the situation would have changed and you can have a more productive discussion or outcome. This is not to manipulate the situation - merely to get the energy to a state where a proper discussion can take place in a secure environment where no one is wrong.
Conflict Management
Conflict occurs when two people insist that they are right - and the other is wrong. Conflict can be resolved if one person takes the 'secure' role and steps back, allows the other person to air her views, listen to their point of view, not make the other person wrong. And when the energy changes, present your point of view as an additional point of view and not a conflicting point of view. No one is wrong - everything is a point of view - and all points of view can be considered.
Changing Outcome with Your Energy
When things are not working, change your energy - to change the situation. Since you control your energy, you can change its quality easily. Outcomes get messed up when we approach them with the wrong frequency of energy - anger, resentment, frustration, resignation etc. These energies and other such negative energies, will keep you stuck.
You can change your energy by practising the below
- Non-judgement (judgment will get in the way)
- Gratitude (be grateful to that person or situation for whatever it is teaching you)
- Forgiveness (forgive that person or situation (Including yourself) and let go of that unforgiving energy)
- Being present (being fully present will knock off all past and present and thereby all fears and other negative emotions)
Leadership
We are all leaders - only we do not recognise that. My definition of leaders is "leading our lives in ways that influences our life and that of others". How are we leading our lives? Are we making a difference to our lives? To other lives? How can I lead my life to make a difference to my life and others lives?
There are three types of leaders
- Insecure leaders (try to control everything, fixed mindset, feel threatened, don't let anyone else grow, team performance is low)
- Personal leaders (take responsibility for themselves and their growth, learning mindset, understand their role and enhance it, do what they can in their capacity and by doing so help the team, team performance improves)
- Secure leaders (let go of control, allow others to grow and shine, learning mindset, grow others and self, team performance
You can begin by taking personal leadership and then moving into secure leadership.
Personal Management
The aim is to become better humans. One cannot be a great artiste, if one is not a good human too. Find ways to better yourself, your skill and do justice to your potential.
You must begin with YOU. First and foremost, heal the relationship with yourself. Love and accept yourself as you are. See the perfection in you and love that - you as a whole with all your strengths and imperfections. Once you stop judging yourself, stop judging the world around you too. Keep the energy clear and things will happen much easier.
They say that all problems are also receiving problems. If we are not getting what we want - examine yourself and ask if you really are ready to receive it NOW. For all those who want crores of rupees, if someone gives it to them now, can we accept it? Be open to receiving, to the flow of life. Keep the flow going.
They say that anything can be achieved in the world if we are willing to give credit to others. That is being secure. Be grateful to all the people who helped you on your journey, look at all the things in your life to be grateful to. Keep good energy. When things are not working, change your energy.
The only thing we can change in this world is ourselves. So stop trying to change the world, blame the world. For everything, you have a solution - your energy. Change your attitude and things change.
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