A Thousand Ganapathi Idols

The road outside the colony is normally used to stock and sell large Ganesha idols every Ganesh Chaturthi and the numbers are growing and growing each year. So when a couple of friends sent me pictures of one Ganesha with wishes, I sent them a thousand Ganeshas back. And to you too  - Happy Ganesh Chaturthi to you my friend!

And a thousand Ganeshas for you

Obscuring the entrance to the colony 

Flowers and other stuff

Threat of rain

Ganeshas big and small

The Auto wallas in Pune

My first impression of auto walas in Pune dates about 25 years back when I took Konark, the train that connected Bhubaneshwar to Mumbai, and reached Hyderabad sometime at 12. This train would then deposit us in Pune past midnight. It was my first trip to Pune and I was all set to get fleeced off (the norm with me) but the chap took me home took the straight and narrow route, was honest to the core despite knowing that I was a first timer to Pune and took exactly what I owed him. For years I told that story to many people because the auto walas lived up to that reputation. It was only after those early years that the texture changed and well, we meet all sorts these days.

So the young kid who picked us up today was a maverick and one could tell by the way he overheard our conversation and butted in helpfully with his ideas, spoke out of turn, drove rashly, asked us to take the longer but faster route and finally agreed to our suggestion. At a traffic signal he waved to four of his friends who were on two bikes and stopped for a moment after. Turns out that his friends were all going to Bahubali and would he also come? He declined and we were on the way. The camaraderie was obvious and I know many, including me, who would have ditched the ride and gone off to the movie. I told him I could take another rickshaw if he wanted to go, but he said he'd rather earn a couple of hundred here rather then spend four hundred at the theatre. Hmm. Smart chap. He told me that he and his friends had all had a good time swimming in the river in the morning and he had his fun for now.

In the evening we found a different cup of tea. Unlike the brash young kid who took us straight to our destination we found a religious looking, bespectacled man who asked us an extra thirty bucks for the long ride. We agreed. And then he took us on a wild goose chase, telling us that he was taking us through less crowded areas etc etc and suddenly landed up in the street next to where we had been some twenty minutes earlier. When I asked him why he had done that, he had little to answer - possibly hoped that we would not know. One was that we relearned the lesson about judging books by covers and secondly, the fact that these chaps were not going back to their old ways. At least not all of them surely.

Why autos? Because the Uber guys have a horrid way of calling up and saying they are somewhere closeby and it takes forever to tell them the directions. So sometimes it seems simpler to get into an auto and head off. Its also more dramatic.

Fair and Lovely and Handsome, Dark and...

It is amazing how many of us in this world believe that good and nice and god and goddess-like is to be fair, have blue eyes and perhaps be blond. Most of those who have read English literature and watched English movies certainly cannot expect a black man or a black woman (and shades of these colors which are considered slightly lesser colors) playing leads in the classics  They are the gods and the goddesses and despite the stupidity and conceitedness they sometimes exhibit, we forgive easily (unlike the colored fellows who only reinforce what is expected of them by showing more stupidity). The villains are colored and are rarely white and blond with blue eyes.

So it is very easy for a lot of people who see movies or read books, or even follow popular culture like dance and singing, to associate all things good and strong with white and all things bad and weak with black or colored. It is easy then for a dark skinned man to be made fun of in a Fair and Handsome ad (with background music ranging from Main hoon Don to the effeminate Pari hoon main) while a white skinned movie star comes by and condescendingly saves the foolish black/colored man from his misery. And soon as the black man listens to the white man's advice ad turns a few shades fairer, he finds white women wanting to go on rides with him. The white hero cannot afford to don black paint himself of course and turn white because he would be less of a man or god then. It has to be one of those fellows.

I don't get too bothered by these ads but this ad was brilliant in its messaging and its directness and shamelessness. Like Malcolm X says in his biography, black men used their new found freedom to bleach themselves white, straighten their hair through painful processes, many even trying to behave and be like the whites or going the other way and wearing flashy clothes. The Jew who owns the properties where Malcolm X works tells him the secret to his prosperity - show me a black man with a dime in his pocket and I will show you how to get it out of him. What the Jew meant was that he knew how eager the blacks were to fit in and to show that they belonged that they spent their last penny trying to prove something they were not. And the smarter ones got richer and the poorer ones stayed poorer buying trinkets, fake jewellery and if they had access to it, Fair and Handsome too. Am sure a lot of back fellows in India are trying to woo women by turning a few shades fairer.

It is almost as if the world's intelligence and goodness belonged to the gods (white) and all that messed up the world came from the demons (black and other colors). It's a thought that we have accepted and will find difficult to erase. It was nice to see a 'Moonlight' win the Oscar though it almost went to a ''La La Land' (and I liked the fact that Moonlight had no white character for a long time and it felt like this was not made in this world - how defenseless and vulnerable those black people looked without a white hero to save them). So Moonlight ends vaguely with no powerful endings, apologetically even, as most black films should.

But then one would wonder what it would take to make it even. To make people believe that even black people have red blood (what did you expect? Ink? - as the white, blue eyed, blond female lead says to her equally white, blond and blue eyed co stars while standing up for the black Sidney Poitier in ''To Sir With Love), have some intelligence, and perhaps some culture, some pride, would be some doing. One has to look around and see how many leaders are white and how many black. How many of our world's great people in arts, culture, science etc are black or colored. It is as if the leadership positions are with the gods and the manual work is for the blacks. It works in an ascending order - no black leaders in our colored countries also because all of the leaders are more or less fair, but in the world order our fair leaders pale in comparison with the pale, blue eyed and blond leaders of the world.

Then you wonder why Fair and Handsome is not bigger than it is. It ought to be a global leader by now.  Unless a majority of the blacks have resigned themselves to their fates - of being ruled, of being without the beautiful women, of being kept under leash and of living apologetically. That would be bad news really for the white world - so many dollars that could have been transferred wasted. All because of lack of ambition from the colored fellows.

It's funny - even fair would come with an opposite like unfair. Would there ever be an Unfair and Handsome, or Unfair and lovely, or Black and Handsome? Ummm. Would the gods allow that?

  

One Rainy Evening in Hyderabad

The skies look dark. So dark that you are worried what they will spew once they open up their swollen bellies. And they do not disappoint - they pour down in torrents like we have not seen before. I use the by-now-familiar and suicidal technique of lets-see-what-happens and head into the storm. Rain pelts down. Its hard to see a few feet ahead. Potholes are hidden by sheets of water and cars and two wheelers watch these puddles warily. What surprises do the water puddles hide? Tentatively we go forward and on all occassions we find the water hides a huge pothole. We are thankful it is not a manhole and move on with a bruised undercarriage.

It's time to take a call between the many routes available. Which ones will get flooded and which ones will offer passage? One choice and then another and we seem to have used our knowledge of three decades well. We reeach the theatre and watch the movie.

The rain does not let up. When we step outside Prasad's Imax the road is chock a block with traffic. I turned left and instead of taking the u turn and joining the choked traffc, took the easy route to the left. It led back to the road near the Secretariat. The traffic was worse. Another fatal u turn and we were further away from the road we needed to take. This time our luck had run out. There are no easy routes in such situations.

The next two hours were spent negotiating a one km stretch to the flyover - where we started. Then over the flyover and home. In rain I decided, stick to the high areas, not just known routes. Avoid the low lying ares. Be patient. You cannot be smart in a clogged traffic situation. It could set you back two hours. It's a pattern that could well set you nack by decades if you don't learn.

Rio Olympics - Indian Girls Shine Bright, Win Hearts and Show The Way

It was fantastic to watch the expression of disbelief on Sakshi Malik's face and then the huge smile on her face as she pulled off one of the most unexpected wins coming from behind from a  0-5 deficit in her wrestling match. And as she laughed, hid her face in the Indian flag, one felt the one thing that connects us all - that flag, that sense of something of 'ours' excelling, that involuntary tug at the heart. We felt it when India won the World up, when Azhar scored his first century, when Prakash Padukone won the All England and so on and on. A bronze, but its a hard earned medal. To get it from a girl from Haryana, is even more heartening.

Then the way Sindhu played from her first game onwards and continues to play - all focus on the process, terrific precision in her play, superb athleticism and preparation - she is clearly there because she prepared better and she knows it. She looks fitter, easily better prepared mentally, physically and skill wise. Such intense play, such fierce concentration and such domination is tough to beat and she looks good for a gold. What's even more wonderful to watch apart from her desire to win every point is the hearty, smiling interviews she gives patiently after the games with no airs, no frills, no sense of look-at-me-I-am-the-star and I-made-it-despite-all-you-guys. She is simple and down to earth, enjoying the game and the moment. She is the only one I have seen who is not strapped with some bandage, who has had no injury issues and is striding around as if the court belongs to her. It does. I can't wait to see her get the gold medal tomorrow.

Sindhu has a huge fan at home now. Anjali has made all kinds of placards, hangs around with her racket while her game is on and copies every move of hers which is pretty tiring and then cheers her after the point with the placard.

And then I watched Dipa Karmakar's wonderful performances and was amazed at her courage, skill, competence as well as her composure at missing out on a medal despite a good solid performance under pressure. She laughed in that brilliant way she does and left the Rio Olympics with her head held high. Just as Srikanth Kidambi did after a lion hearted effort. I was fortunate to watch Lalita Babar lead the 3000 m women's steeplechase pack, and hold on despite some really tough competition to make the finals. Then I see Aditi Ashok in golf and so many names I am so proud to see in their respective line ups. These athletes have made it despite poor infrastructure, little support from family and from sports bodies, have little to look forward to once Rio is over except their own made desire to make something out of their skill, their hard work. No one goes to lose, everyone works for the big stage. There is no questioning the heart. It boils down to processes. If we can just get the sports bodies cleaned up just like the Lodha Committee is promising to do in cricket, sportspersons can go and express themselves. And also take some selfies if they like. They earned it.

Now that the girls have put to rests all doubt about who is wearing the pants in India, with its increasingly male chauvinistic attitudes, by winning medals where it counts, all those who think they are the ones wearing the pants can now take a good look at themselves. Courage, bravery, patriotism can be shown by performing, by sacrificing and not by putting up facebook posts, beating up innocents, harassing the weak. Brilliant job girls.

A unforgettable sight for me is the way P Gopichand handles his wards. Calm, composed, all prepared, no stone unturned, always supportive, he has done what all other sports bodies, sports greats, ministries have not been able to do. On his own, he is the only champion player to have produced so many more champions and it is incredible to even conceive what he has done. The players from Hyderabad completely dominate the shuttle badminton scene - Saina, Sindhu, Srikanth, Kashyap, Reddy, Ashwini, Jwala and I am missing more names - and he certainly had something to do with them at one time or another. What Gopichand seems to have done is to find the process, the method of preparation, the building of infrastructure, the availability of good quality coaches and he is churning out the champions like a production line. It's as good as Hyderabad versus the Rest of the World and for that this man deserves all credit. Bigger bodies, ministries are not able to produce champions despite having more resources at their disposal. He is also the one champion sportsperson to have produced so many champions as a coach. All other sportspersons have disappeared or taken up lucrative positions behind the mike or in sports bodies. For just that Gopichand is a true leader. He deserves a unique award for producing so many champions. Reserved, calm, clear and restrained, Gopichand ought to write a book on how he coaches and churns out champions. That book can be followed by all organisations - sports and non-sports blindly.

As the Olympics come to the last days, we cannot ignore the reality. On such a big stage only truly champion like preparation will hold. Gopichand, Nandy, Malik, the Belarusian coach who coached Lalita Babar have put Tripura, Hyderabad, Haryana and other places on the map - the wards have performed thanks to their dedicated coaches. 

Pradeep - The Garbage Cart with Flowers

There is this family that brings a cart to collect garbage from every home in the colony. I never paid much attention to the cart nor the people for a long time. But the other day I was intrigued to find that the garbage cart was well maintained and even more surprisingly was adorned by a beautiful bouquet of plastic flowers on its handle. It was such a contrast to see that - a garbage cart and this little piece of adornment.

Young Pradeep on his way

But that's the beauty of life. In our little ways we try to improve life around us. What bothers us most we try to better it. We find pride in our work, our possessions and we reveal ourselves as we do that. I was really interested in knowing the story behind the flowers.

I kept a sharp eye out for the cart and the owners to ask them. Sometimes I'd find the cart but no owner. Then one day I found the cart but a small kid, no more than ten or eleven, collecting the garbage. There was no adult in sight.

Anyway I called him and asked him if I could take a picture of him and his rickshaw. He posed willingly. I asked him about the flowers. He said his mother had put it there. His mother and older brother normally come to collect garbage.

I asked him what he was doing. Does he go to school? Yes, he said. Then why are you here on a working day, I asked. I stay back to help on Mondays he said. There is a lot of work because garbage piles up over two days. So I have to help my mother.

That's it. No other thought.

You never know what kind of stuff people are going through. I asked him if he liked studying. He said yes. I asked him if he knew what possibilities existed if he studied well. He said he would get a job. I told him he could buy a house right here in this colony if he studied well. He looked embarrassed at the thought.

I asked him if he wanted some books to read. He was happy. I gave him a set of books, some workbooks, some storybooks. He ran away with them and put them somewhere. I asked him what he did with the books. He said he kept them safe - he will collect them after the round.

I asked him his name. Pradeep, he said proudly. And so Pradeep with his cart and his plastic flowers, his neat clothes and appearance, his pride at helping his mother, his dreams of a future cycled away from me.

There was a time when I used to lecture the kids about child labour but now I don't. If I was in his position I would want to help my mother and brother, even if I was small.

There's a visual from around that same time that stays with me. A small family of labourers were engaged in digging the road in our colony. Some four or five men and women. They had children not more than two years old or three - just about walking. Even as the father was shifting stones and bricks from the rubble, the two year old, all earnestness, picked up a stone his size and shifted it. He did that, one small stone by one small stone. One look at his face and you knew he had decided in that tiny mind of his what his duty was and he was it. Holding on to his father's leg for support and all focused on helping out. Parents, children, duty, expectations, work, survival. Life.

Everyone is fighting their own battle. All we can do is wish them well.

Morning Chai at New Good Luck Cafe with Tops

Sunil Kumar Jyoti aka Topper or Tops is a 1984 vintage friend. The shuttler who represented India was the most accomplished of our sportspersons lot at the Osmania University Engineering College. Very serious about his game (unlike the rest of us), he had about an hour to spare each day for attending class. He'd arrive on his Falcon (and later his Yamaha 100 cc),  at about 12 pm, attend the one class  before lunch and head back to practice again. In fact those two were his to great loves those days - shuttle badminton and bikes.

Tops at New Good Luck cafe

With his rugged good looks and fine sense of dressing Tops was a hit with the girls - but sadly he had no time for them either. Those who know him also know that Tops has a whacky sense of humour - and a red hot Haryanvi temper as well. Many a time we laughed our guts out over some stupid joke or some crazy imitation - so much so that people left the room in disgust (what's so funny?). We shared music too - Tops initiated me into Jetthrotull, Supertramp, Cream, Crosby Stills and Nash, Cat Stevens and many more. As for his temper - I know of a bus driver and an auto driver who pushed him into a corner on the road and got a little more than they expected right then. But then, he is gentle as a flower with babies.

Chai and biscoot - owner and waiter in background

It's been three decades since we first met, but when Tops turned up today on his new bike which he'd taken out for an early morning ride, all decked up in his riding gear, it was like a throwback to our college days when he'd come by on his Yamaha. We decided to go out for a cup of tea and I suggested we try an authentic Irani cafe - one of the few that are left and one of the few of our vintage. So we went to the New Good Luck cafe that occupies the corner of the road beside the SR Nagar Police Station.

A view of the road - enter as you please

New Good luck cafe has always had good parking space and in those days when roads were not so packed it was easy to pull into it after a late night jaunt and sip some Irani chai and eat some biscuits. If it had a jukebox it would have been the ideal place to play REM at night. It has a token system  - pay first,eat later. While we were picking up the tokens I admired the old world decor, the open and easily accessible design of Irani cafes that seemed to be designed more for leisure and fellowship than anything else and its current mismatch with all the hustle around it. As I was admiring the place the old owner told me in English - it's been fifty years. I smiled at him, and a glimpse of recognition lit up in his old eyes - he recognised us as souls who understood what it meant.

The love affair with bikes continues

The sun slants in during the morning hours and its a great place to sip chai - the tea was great too. Tops and I had a couple, tried biscuits and samosas, talked of this and that and realised that noise levels on a Saturday morning were quite high. Police vehicles zoomed by with their sirens blaring. I could not resist a couple of quick clicks on my camera and am glad I could get the owner in the background in one. It was a time well spent and hopefully we will do a few more chais there. Promises to that effect were made before Tops headed back on his new bike. Meanwhile I am wondering if I should frequent Good Luck a bit more - its lovely in the mornings and the chai is great. Now to hunt for some company.

Of Rules and Regulations - Principle and Process Again

This is a small park near my place where many of us go for a morning stroll. It's pretty small - a full circle of the park at a brisk pace gets done in 5-6 minutes. But there are many rules and regulations here for such a small park - do not run on grass, do not play here, do not bring balls and bats, do not bring small bikes and pets, do not tie a string, do not do this and that etc. It had an entry ticket for a long time which was finally removed for all those who enter before 8 am. Rules kept changing. Yesterday we got this.

Now, cameras and video tapes are not allowed. I cannot believe these guys. What is there to shoot in this park? They could have gone a step further and stopped all ancient methods of capturing the secrets this park has to offer. When every single fellow who enters the park comes with a cellphone with an inbuilt camera what's the point in putting up boards like these?

But this is how systems work here. Let me try and guess the principle here - I give up - I don't know really. If some place does not want cameras and video tapes inside it is either concerning national security, is of heritage, cultural or religious value (which makes sense). But in a park like this which has no security threats (save some walkers), nothing to hurt any sentiments of, I cannot get the principle. The process - being duly followed, without the principle in place. Of course the rule board does not say why one should not carry cameras and video tapes and what the punishment for such transgressions are. Nothing - just one 'not allowed'. Of course they are clubbed with plastic and polythene bags (why have they differentiated between these two?) which are universally seen as dangerous items, but well, are universally used anyway. So we can add the cameras and video tapes to these dangerous items as well.

So we move on with our world - full of rules and regulations without knowing why and what. Merely that they are there. Yessir. No cameras. Let us click away and video tape away on our cell phones to our heart's content.

Two Interesting Scenes

I saw two interesting scenes today, both while driving. That's to say I witnessed them for less than a couple of seconds but that was more than enough.

The first starred a young girl, four or five years old, walking home from school. One hand secure in her grandfather's hand, the little cherub peered beyond the grandfather's frame, spotted whoever she was looking out for and waved her free hand with such loving familiarity that I can never forget that mischief and happiness in her look. Her shining eyes, sweet smile, trusting body language, all pointed out that the recipient of her wishes must be someone special to her. I quickly followed her gaze and tracked down the recipient - an old, frail beggar lady sitting outside a temple and waiting for alms. The old lady's face was lit with immense joy and happiness as she waved back at her little friend and you knew instantly that this was a daily thing. The connection between the two was something divine, out of this world. It's worth waiting near that temple again to catch that joy and affection of these two friends, this little game they play with one another.

The second scene came almost immediately after. A young was father walking home with his young daughter, three or four. He was carrying her. She enveloped him in a big hug, so tightly that they were almost as one. More interestingly the father reciprocated, holding his daughter so tightly, his face hidden in her little shoulders, walking almost unseeingly but conveying something deep and profound to his daughter. It was a moment of pure oneness, unadulterated love, complete surrender. There they walked oblivious to the rest of the world, deep inside their own world, free of outside tensions, unknown fears. In there, they were safe and secure, all was good and nice. All I could do was wish them that space forever.

Two lovely scenes that will remain in my heart always.

Why It's Important to Respond to Emails and Calls

There is a slight problem these days. People don't respond to calls, emails and smss. They will only respond if they have some work else they ignore.
Just bad etiquette.

Here's a real life story.

I usually send out Eid festival messages to a bunch of friends, say 30 of them. 20 do not respond. 5 respond cautiously after a few days (after the important ones are taken care of). 3 respond later in the evening that same day. One responds in an hour.

But only one responds within a minute.

Now comes the interesting part. The one who responds instantly is the busiest and most important of the lot. He is the head of a large political party. The order of importance in that list and their responses goes that same way. The more important people respond faster and the least important do not respond at all.
It shows clearly how the successful people think.

They look at closure. At instantly acknowledging and closing the loop. They do not weigh who is important and who is not. They are equally grateful to all for wishing them. The ones who are not successful are so because of their thought patterns. They respond only to those who are of some use to them. In most cases they are probably just plain lazy and do not understand the importance of closure.

I have been guilty of the same thing for many years - not looking beyond my nose. But now I know its a behavior pattern that is not good for anyone. It's best to close everything. There was a time when I used to pride myself on having the last word in any exchange - letters, emails. I lost the edge when it came to smss and whatsapp messages. But I am regaining some form there these days.

Yesterday morning I called a friend to wish him on his birthday. He does not answer. I send him a message wishing him. He does not acknowledge. The whole day. Pity. I am sure he would say he was busy but aren't we all? Where have we lost this elementary etiquette? Why are we so involved with ourselves that we do not have time to even acknowledge with the slightest 'thanks' or 'later' or a similar word? When have we started ranking people as important and not important? And then we are all so upset when people do the same thing to us. When they do not return our compliments, when they do not close things.

If the universal principles of 'you get what you give' holds, this does not bode well. It does not bode well for me either because I am at the receiving end too and its an effect of something I did. Anyway I am into self-correction mode now. I made a list of all the open-ended businesses in my life and have promised myself to close them. I made up my mind not to make promises I cannot honour - most of which I do to those nearest to me. I made up my mind to have the last word in every conversation -big or small, worthy or worthless.

Closure is important. Delivery is important. Keeping our promise is important. Most importantly acknowledging others and their presence and actions is important. If we cannot, the richness of life peels away layer by layer until our tree is bare again.

The Auto Driver Guitarist - I Don't Know Why But Worth a Watch

I am sure that most may have seen this on fb. But I would still like to share it (and keep it).

I don't know why. Perhaps it reminds me of stuff we were, stuff we could have become, stuff we still are. I must confess there was a time after my engineering days that I wanted to become a taxi driver. In fact there is a character in my first book who is like that.

When you watch the gentleman play the guitar you realise that nothing's wrong with life. It's not that we all need to be Jimmy Hendricks or Rehman. It's enough to be us.

It's enough that we can pick up the guitar and play it when we want to. It's perfect exactly as it is.

https://kk91.wordpress.com/2015/07/17/week-6-the-one-with-autowallah-playing-guitar/

Anything else in that setting will taint that spirit.

And it might help to remember that everyone we meet carries this magic!

One more thing - what the gentleman says about the guitar will probably hold good for anything - "don't give up on the guitar and the guitar won't give up on you".

My Experiments With Compliments

So I fixed myself a target of complimenting five people yesterday. I managed only two and they were easy targets. The other three never appeared. What I mean is that the people appeared but I had no compliments to give.

No wait! I did compliment three people yesterday. No wait, I did four!!

This tree that shed lovely pink flowers

(I suddenly realised that I left myself out. Correction to be carried out to day.)

Of course it made me feel good when I complimented people. They also felt good.
Shifts energy. It's growth stuff - outside the comfort zone. More importantly, hug the ego stuff.

Difficulty
But it also made me aware of how difficult it is to let go of the ego and wholeheartedly compliment. Like I was telling a friend 'I don't mind pushing the envelope with outright flattery because I do want to be there - even being outrageously insincere. On the edge of little lies.' Who knows little lies may
be what the world needs. What's to say that a poet is not a little liar, pushing the envelope with his grand notions, broad sweeps and bold interpretations? All that makes us feel good.

Target 5
Today I hope to achieve my target of complimenting five people and at this rate slowly get into the habit of complimenting people.

Stuck space and energy
I understand what this means though - my current inability or reluctance to compliment (even when i want to). It only means that I can see no good within, no fun within. To correct that mindset is the main aim now, so the space inside is flowing and clean, fun and flexible. Inside out is best, but then outside in also works (fake it till you make it!) hence the experiment of complimenting others while complimenting myself. Go, go.

Exercise material
I always encourage friends and family to  do things outside their comfort zone as a growth exercise. One thing I suggest to students is the compliment exercise. But now I realise that even if they all did one compliment a day for the next 21 days, its still a great growth exercise.

Possible outcomes
Two possible results of the shift in yesterday's energy. I got two unexpected, inbound calls that were good for my self-worth. Energy shifts towards the positive are always good.

More tomorrow. While at this complimenting business, I cannot but compliment you for your patience and your support as you read this blog through seasons lean and fat, moods on and off. I would also like to compliment you on your fine taste (but then I would be complimenting myself!)

Old People

Yesterday Koni and I were driving and saw an old man pulling a rickshaw. The man could hardly drag the empty rickshaw over the slightest bump. But he has to work I guess, to keep his life going and that of his families. Sad.

Then we saw another old man who was carrying boxes of fruit and he could not hold them and it fell and he fell too in the middle of the road. He slowly picked himself up and his boxes and was trying to go wherever he was going.

Then we saw an old driver, really old, in an old Qualis. The guy was totally fagged out and slumped over the wheel. He would not be less than 75 or 80 years and very very tired.

Lastly we saw the watchman near Ranjan's house. He seemed to have had a stroke and walked and spoke funny. Again not a day less then 75 and he was still working for his salary surely.

All this in a distance of 3 kms. Why are these old people who can barely stand working? Surely they have homes, demands at home, hungry mouths, dead dreams, dying hopes, no respite. The only thing that drives them to work is that little extra they make which they hope will pay off some loan, some bill, and hope that somehow life will turn for the better.

And on the other hand we see the fat, overweight middle and rich class people, having more than they can consume. Somewhere this inequality must be bridged. This nonsense corrected.

'Oi' Campaign Against Using Phones While Driving

I happened to see the 'Oi' campaign someplace on the net and lost the link. But the 'Oi' stuck to my head. It conveyed what a lot of other communication did not. No excuse for being on the phone while driving.

The first ad, is the 'Oi' campaign.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11431300

The second is something I found while searching for it. More intense.
http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2013/07/this-new-australian-no-texting-while-driving-ad-is-intense/

Worth a look if you drive.

A Tale of Two Young Kids

This is a story in progress but its fascinating to watch it unfold. It's a tale of two young kids that I have seen growing for the past ten years or more - right from their primary school days. One is the son of the maid and the other is the son of the chap who cleans the car.

Now the son of the chap who cleans the car. He is a serious, hardy fellow who seemed pretty focused on all that he did. He'd come around to help his father even when he was small and I'd always make him sit beside. He was respectful but had an air of dignity around him - no unnecessary subservient behavior. His father is a weak, ill looking chap and I always wonder how he manages so much work - I also know he has to work his frail frame longer hours to educate his children - the son and the daughter. The son showed promise and his father would tell me how he was doing well in his studies etc. One day I saw the son's picture on the huge vinyl posters outside his school - he scored the highest marks in the school. Wow! Then Intermediate and wonder of wonders - he cracked the engineering exam and got himself a seat in NIT, Trichy which is a great achievement. He met me before he went and I gave him some books to read including 'The Men Within' for some inspiration.

That's not his story though. His story is this. Every time he comes back for vacation, this boy who studies Engineering in a college higher ranked than the one I went to, has no qualms in picking up the wash rag and standing in for his father almost every day. He shows the same dedication to work, carries the same dignity and nothing seems out of place as he does a diligent job of washing the car. I am amazed at the values this kid has. Every time I talk to him he has the same self assurance and self awareness, the same smile. Fantastic.

Then the son of the maid. She lost her husband when the children were small, ten years ago. She worked her way and educated them. She has a spirit you can see of wanting to make her life better, to make her children enjoy a good life. You could see it in the way she dressed them up, the way she herself dressed or carried herself, with pride. Both her children, again a boy and a girl, studied through school and have now come to Intermediate.

And this is where the stories take different turns. She promised the kid a motorcycle for clearing his exams perhaps and the boy is seen at odd hours with three or four of his friends (all looking like they are up to no good if you ask me) riding that poor bike, dressed in flashy clothes, a cocky air to them. I asked the maid's father, who also works here, how the boy was faring. He said the boy had become very surly and rude and is out of control. There is no way he will lift a finger to help his mother, forget about studying well.

I do not know much about the second kid and I hope he has the sense to pull back and focus on his studies. It may be difficult I can see. But they have this shining example right before their eyes - this kid who comes to clean this car every morning - and the bright future that lies ahead of him. A future that can equalise all that his father had not experienced. In a few years this kid can buy himself houses and cars bigger than the ones his father and mother worked at.

In all likelihood the maid's kid is not heading in that direction. I cannot foresee a great future for him - not in the conventional path (he might become a great leader, who knows). The same backgrounds, same opportunities. The only difference seems to be the discipline and values that the kids imbibed. The difference between tough love and indulgent love shows clearly and its such a pity because this other kid could have (hopefully might still) gone the same way.

I watch their stories unfold with great fascination. But whatever happens to the story, I cannot ever forget the sight of the boy, second year Mechanical Engineering  at NIT, Trichy, stolidly stepping forward to clean the car. It's wonderful.

Thoughtfulness in Action - A Rare Attribute

It was the end of the semester (some two months ago). My first foray at teaching 'Arts Management and Digital Marketing' ended. It was a rich learning experience for me with an enthusiastic, growth-oriented class of students of the final semester of the Masters of Performing Arts course, Department of Dance, SN College, University of Hyderabad. My students, experts at Kuchipudi and Bharathanatyam, Niyanthri, Suchismita, Sneha G, Snehalatha, Jani Miya, Aparna, Aiswarya, Rohini and Ashwini were effusive and eloquent in expressing their gratitude to me and I could see it in their eyes that my efforts and ideas had made some impact. I don't know if I conveyed it but they taught me much too.

Last classes are all types. We move on. I remember one last class. Our Hindi teacher Mr. Tiwari from St. Alphonso's broke down and sobbed like a child during his last class when we were doing our Intermediate. I cannot even imagine that he was sorry at our going, some loss of some other part of his life must have triggered it. But it does make you wonder as a teacher when you see so much potential going out - with fear and trepidation, hope and courage - and you hope you did all to equip them.

Ashwini, whose boldness and sureness of action stands out, stepped up on this last class and gave me two gifts. One a fine poster she made (she is good with craft work and design) which said 'You are the creator of your destiny' and another a bookmark which said 'If you can dream it you can do it' on one side and on another 'You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream'. I can imagine the trouble she must have taken to make these gifts for me and the courage to show her appreciation of what she learned. There are times when it helps to look at that bookmark or the poster and nod. Yes, so it is.

And so I thank Ashwini for her thoughtfulness which is another rare attribute in people, and her action orientation, which resulted in these two gifts. Thoughtfulness is one thing, but thoughtfulness in action is rare. It's these little things that make our days - like a mail I received from an old client about how he benefited from our association that makes the effort seem worth it. I urge you, as I urge myself, put the thought into action.

And I wish Ashwini, and all others from the class, all the best. As I say, the class never ends. One always learns and teachers are always around to chip in. And thank you all for all that you taught. 

Link - Tribute to Michael Jackson's Moonwalk

Another gift from fb. Nice link. Awesome as they say.

https://www.facebook.com/deejayravishofficial/videos/vb.102478020240/10154039270590241/?type=2&theater

Link - 30 Greatest Documentaries

A 6 minute compilation of 30 great documentaries. It's a bit like the last scene in Cinema Paradiso.

http://filmmakermagazine.com/87849-watch-sight-sounds-30-greatest-documentaries-in-624/#.VD-b2vmSyfp

Ted Talk - Rethinking Infidelity...a talk for anyone who has ever loved by Esther Perel

Well!
Why do we cheat? Why do happy people cheat? What is infidelity?

http://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved

Love Yourself - Making a Difference to Your Life

In many ways, getting into action can get us feeling good about ourselves. Small acts that we can control, that move us out of the reactive state, are creative. When we do something 'for ourselves' i.e. do it whether someone approves it or not, we start feeling good. My secret intention is to start building such a community of people who start doing small acts of love for themselves. 

Some years ago when I first started doing the workshop for MBAs, the concept of ownership, self worth was discussed and I left it at doing 21 things out of your comfort zone for  21 days as a practice of changing our mindset.

Then one day I wrote down some acts which I think I never shared. Initially 21 acts for 21 days. I found that list now, and realised I could use it too. And added some more. 

Some acts - some of them written specially for students so you may have to modify them.

1. Plant a tree
2. Gift a plant
3. Give a lecture
4. Learn a new word and use it with a friend
5. Talk to your sweeper, cook, watchman and find out about their lives, families
6. Talk to one successful person a week and ask the route to success
7. Make a one page plan for your business and see how it makes a difference
8. Teach one word, one concept to a small child, teach a thank you, please
9. Take up one improvement at home or campus and do it 
10. Smile at one new person, at everyone after that
11. Introduce yourself to a new person
12. Walk instead of taking the bus
13. Organize a tree plantation drive
14. Organize a clean campus, clean college drive
15. Donate blood
16. Donate organs
17. Make tea or coffee for your parents, friends
18. Ask your mother her dreams
19. Clean your room
20. Get rid of all stuff you don't need
21. Gift a pencil to a poor school child
22. Tell one concept to a person who might benefit from it
23. Teach a school kid one concept he cannot understand
24. Offer to make a business plan to your canteen wala
25. Pray with a friend of another religion
26. Educate a slum about health and sanitation
27. Pick up trash
28. Do gardening
29. Start a book reading group 
30. Start a book club, a movie club and discuss
31. Start a political discussion
32. Start a movement on how to promote honesty and transparency (reduce corruption)
33. Make a difference with one act every day
34. Promote peace - speak peacefully for a whole day
35. Make one person smile
36. Pay one compliment 
37. Do one thing that you have been putting off
38. Call one old friend to say Hi
39. Visit someone and give them a small gift like a chocolate
40. Go to the mirror and smile at yourself - you are doing a good job
41. Write down 50 dreams, then write 50 things to do towards achieving them
42. Say yes to everything
43. Tell someone who needs support that you fully believe in him or her
44. Make a list of all the people you take for granted and thank them - in your own way
45. Pay money joyfully every time you pay
46. Buy one thing for yourself for your own enjoyment and enjoy it fully
47. Make a connection with one new person every day - for 30 days
48. Give candy to a child begging at the traffic signals
49. Take a selfie with a cop - like they do at Buckingham palace or in the USA
50. Write a letter to all the people who made a difference to you