Facebook Personalities - The Harimohan Paruvu Version 1.0

After peeping into my facebook account recently, a job that I do with increasing trepidation these days (you never know what you can see that can shock and awe you), I have finalised some facebook personality types. Broadly, they are - the macabre types, the news sharing types, the video sharing types, the quotes and proverbs sharing types, the smart alecks, the this-is-my-life types, the secret service types, the marketing types, the jokes types, the alarmist types OMG you must watch this types, the taggers and so many more.

Though there are many more of such complicated types, let us now restrict ourselves to these normally found ones and try and understand what we can do with them. Of course with facebook, the mother of flaunt-it-all-whatever-it-takes, you cannot avoid them unless you go away but awareness can help you a bit. Here then are the personalities types revealed, the Harimohan Paruvu version 1.0:

1) The Macabre types: Best avoided unless you are part of their gory clan. They keep uploading pictures of macabre stuff so horrid that one does not feel like eating the next meal. The few that I saw recently were (this is for real) one body on which an autopsy was done, one chap who died in an accident with his brains on the road, one little dead baby and so on. It's amazing how they get these pics and why they upload them. Unfriend the lot the moment you identify them because they will bombard you with more (their psyche is similar to that of serial killers - they get used to it).

2)News sharing types: These are the 'Breaking News' types who come with big and shocking headlines that they have heard somewhere. Most are harmless rumours so don't take them seriously. But they are a happy lot doing their bit for humanity. Keep them for some excitement in your life. They are the types who bring those lists like - little known facts about Rahul Gandhi, or Gadaffi, or pictures of Raja's house or Janardhan Reddy's house and some stuff like that which can make interesting viewing.

3) Video sharing types: These get links to all kinds of videos and post them - coaching, music, inspirational talks, funny videos, videos of dying people, leaked stuff on the net - anything. Generally harmless but its best to keep doctor on call. You never know what they can spring on you. But I like what one guy does - he puts on videos of some wonderful old songs and I always stop to listen. The thing with videos is that you have some clue as to what it is so you are better warned.

4) Quotes and proverbs types: These are harmless types - they upload quotes and proverbs continuously having acquired a book or some source - some even from religious texts. Those who want to read do it, but I think most people ignore this stuff. There are more important things to do like people dying and shocking facts about someone etc.

5) The Smart Alecks: These types conjure witty one liners on a frequent basis that is so smart you can see the smugness dripping from the facebook page. Harmless and generally funny, so keep them. Some make you feel like whacking them but its okay.

6) This-is-my-life types: These people have a compulsive tendency to disclose every minute detail that has happened in their lives. Travel, flowers, dogs, people, sleep disorders, parties, friends, enemies, relationships, intimate health details - there is nothing that the world does not know about them or their lives - pictures and videos included. I find them incredibly bring unless they have some attractive relatives who show up in the pictures.

7) The Secret Service types: They speak in a language I don't understand at all. D, D, P, P, PD, DP, PPDD and so on. Some kind of a Morse code I guess. Can keep them - they seem generally harmless. Only hassle is if they turn out to be enlisted with some crazy left or right organisation with radical ideas and plans. In which case one can spend a lifetime explaining to the cops what DDD, PDD, DDPPP means which I can never figure out.

8) The Marketing types: They come on only when there is something to sell to you. Generally harmless. I never see any of their posts. I wonder why they waste their time.

9) The Jokes types: These guys are the best because they make me laugh with their jokes and funny videos or even their funny status messages. I love these types and wish there was a joke facebook where everyone could only share jokes (good ones). I don't like most of the other stuff that is posted anyway. I also wish facebook had a 'News facebook' where people give out the latest news from where they are staying - that could be really useful.

10) The Alarmist types: These types are perpetually sending you alarming news. Don't drink coffee five minutes after walking on your big toe or you can drop dead in two minutes, see this video - one person died while drinking bottled water, the world is coming to an end, don't go to movies there are needles with AIDS infected needles, girls don't go out cause there are gangs kidnapping you and so on and so forth. The world is a huge conspiracy for them and they find things that scare and alarm them first and they feel compelled to share and alarm everyone else immediately. OMG you must watch this, or pass it along, if you love someone you will share this kind of messages accompany their noble deeds!

11) The Taggers: These people have a compulsive habit of tagging everyone else in weird stuff. I find myself tagged in so many unknown, unheard of applications, pictures, causes and so on that I don't even know what to do with them anymore. How can I untag myself from them? Or am I linked forever and will appear in their lists, photos and so on forever?

12) The Shock with Status messages types: These are the kinds who work hard on their status messages that are generally intended to brand themselves as rebellious, smart, too intelligent etc. Juvenile stuff - who has time for their status messages - unless they are about their broken relationships etc.

And a whole lot of such types live amongst us. I will keep adding to this list as and when I come across some more in my path. I can see a certain evolution there.