Thursday, January 26, 2023

Meeting Mohib and Other Old Cricketers over Breakfast

 It's become a regular thing when Mohib or any of the others - Masood, Karthik, Akram - come to India on a visit. Mohib has been here for a month and it was due so we decided to meet today. Bansi said he would join and so did Srikanth Iyengar and S Sridhar. Mohib said he would invite a couple of his friends.

Mohib - in town from Kampala

Mohib and I

Me, Bansi on his bike and Mohib


We decided to meet at Eat Street but it was closed - apparently opens at 12! So Bansi suggested we meet at Elaichi restaurant so we drove there - Srikant, me, Mohib and Bansi on his cycle. Mohib brought Masood Junior and Akhthar along with him for company. 

Vikram, Bansi, Akhthar, Masood, me, Osman, Srikanth and Mohib

Sri, Osman, Akhthar, Masood, Bansi, Vikram, me and Mohib

Sri, Vikram, Bansi, Akhthar, Masood, me and Mohib

At Elaichi we were joined by Vikram Man Singh and Osman. Lot of stories shared from the good old days. Some chai, pav bhaji, poha, sandwiches and we were off.

Good fun.


Irani Chai at Red Rose with Sunnie

 Sunnie wanted to have some Irani chai. We mulled over the sad fact that there were no true blue Irani cafes anymore. Sunnie said he was checking to see if he could find any Irani Cafes on the way home from the airport and found none. We decided to try Nimrah at Charminar one fine morning. To make do, we decided to try Red Rose at Erramanzil on Tuesday.



I got there first and was relieved to find some parking place. I ordered some chai for myself and checked the menu. This Red Rose is a vegetarian restaurant - not a single non veg item. Not even an egg puff. Biscuits, samosas, lassi, chai, veg meals, puri sabzi, bun maska - that's it. No biryani nothing.



Anyway Sunnie came and we had a long chat over a few cups of chai, bun maska, samosas, a puri bhaji. There was a cute couple next to us, looking into each others eyes and laughing away happily. The waiter somehow plonked a bucket of bhaji on our table, then removed it when we told him it was obstructing our style etc. Puri sabzi was a hot item and so were samosas. They have this style of serving water in these Kinley bottles, an improvement from the steel glasses with fingers dipped, but hey steel was better than plastic right?  

The couple just would not take their eyes off each other, and laughed like crazy - lovely

After a good couple of hours of catching up on our lives we went our separate ways.



Tuesday, January 24, 2023

Anjali - Second Hand Book Market at Abids

 We went shopping for second hand books at Abids last Sunday. Anjali picked up a couple of books. I clicked some interesting pictures.

An old lodge on the left - the first floor is dilapidated

Books 


More books - Anjali does not haggle a bit


She picked up that one

Heard two old chums talking about their school days - fellow behind 


A pretty mosque near Abids Police Station

The market near GPO

Happy endings - Vinod and his chai

Monday, January 23, 2023

Two Grand Moments with Vinod!

 For a long time Vinod and me planned to go to Grand Kakatiya for our coffee and bajji routine which we normally do in Minerva Coffee Shop. Finally, after years of planning we decided and went to the Grand Kakatiya a couple of weeks ago and enjoyed a fine coffee (Minerva's is better) and some bajjis (again, no great shakes). But the restaurant was quiet, there was no one else around and we sat and chatted for a long time. The bill was three times the Minerva one but we ticked off the item off from the list. Interestingly we saw the Saurashtra Ranji team in the hotel - these days Ranji Trophy players get such luxuries - a far cry from the hotels we stayed in those days.


Then yesterday, after the second hand boom shopping by Anjali we dropped in at Grand Hotel at Abids for some nice Irani chai and enjoyed it too. Anjali ate some cup cakes and seemed to like them as well!


  

Coaching Stories No 6 - The Importance of 'Why'

 I often start most of my sessions with Simon Sinek's 'Start with Why'. In class today we quickly looked at why knowing the 'Why' was important. Like Simon says - everyone knows 'what' they are doing but very how know 'how' they are doing it and even fewer (the successful ones) know 'why' they are doing it. Though it requires honesty and courage and clarity to spell out your 'why', it is well worth the effort.



To illustrate it I shared two stories - one of Disney World and another of stone cutters. The Disney story goes a bit like this. A pastor takes his two young children to Disney World (Disney's why and its vision is 'Making people happy'). The kids go to buy gifts for their parents and the boy drops the vase which breaks. With no money left he is crying when a passerby says they should go back to the Disney store and tell them what happened. The kids do that and the young saleswoman, guided by the company vision or purpose of 'making people happy' says it was her fault she did not pack it right and gives them a free replacement. The kid is happy and goes and tells his parents what happened. 

Identifying his values with those of the company, the pastor decides to take every single congregation to Disney World and for that small gesture of acting out on its vision, Disney got millions of dollars of business, which is not the most important thing. What's important is that smile on the kid's face! A clear vision gives you the power to decide, to strategise.

The second story is that of three stone cutters - the first is unhappy and doing shoddy work and leaving on time. When asked what he is doing he says he is cutting stones. Then another who is slightly happier - and when asked what he is doing he says he is happy to be cutting stones with his friends. Then they come upon this guy who is working all by himself with full concentration after everyone has left and when asked what he is doing he says - I am building the greatest cathedral in the world.

The first stone cutter knows what he is doing, the second knows how and the third knows why and that's the difference in the kind of work they do.

Knowing your why helps you make decisions clearly, helps you make strategies that are in alignment with your vision. it guides you. It even helps you pick the right values which you need to achieve your vision. A team that is clear about its why and wants to win will make the right decisions about who to pick, how to go about it, what are the values they espouse to achieve that vision etc.

So get honest and find your why. Some things to keep in mind while writing your why or your vision - keep a 10 year window atleast, think of the biggest possibility, think success, infuse energy, passion - stuff that makes you want to get up and do it now.    

Brother K M Joseph's 75th Birthday - A Wonderful Celebration of His Life

 When Brother Joseph called me and said that there was a birthday party hosted by his younger brother at the Country Cub on the 22nd, I expected it to be a small affair. Brother's birthday is on the 21st of January and I realised that he shares it with Baig sir, another of my great teachers! I remember that Joseph. Joel and me were out there at Joseph's house in Habsiguda  celebrating Brother Joseph's 70th five years ago. Seems like a long time has passed.

Me, Brother Joseph. D Ravi and Joel

Joel and I went early and had a cup of chai outside, before going in. Not many people were there, some family members. Brother Joseph is the third in a family of eleven siblings (eight brothers and three sisters I think), a couple of them are here in Hyderabad. 'We are a cricket team, with a coach and a manager,' he smiled broadly. Brother came soon after and Joseph Fernandes as well. 

A lovely pic

Ananya Brother Joseph's niece who is studying medicine (and works at the ESI Hospital now) was compering the show and she told me I had to raise a toast. I never raised a toast in my life and all my plans of hanging in the background and doing my own thing vanished. I quickly pulled up all the old blogs I had written about Brother to refrsh my memory about some old stories and found quite a few.

Me, Brother K M Joseph and Joel

The event got underway soon, some talks, prayers, my toast where I spoke about Brother and his contribution to holistic education because he believed in sports being a part of our education. He was our 'Cricket Brother', someone who was always there, who was better than us at most sports (he can whip us even now on most fields). I recalled stories of his humility (how he wrote to a parent with he he had a fight and apologised, something which the parent can never forget), his love for his students (how he arranged special classes for a particularly notorious classes and they studied everyday from 3 pm to 11pm and most passed), his tough love (dropping Shahid Akbar for some poor behavior), his ways of growing children (how his students raised money for a leper colony), his philosophy of separating the act from the child (never make the person wrong, correct the action). I read out the poem I wrote to him when Suresh wanted to honour him with a plaque and ended it. Of course I would not be able to do justice to his contribution to our growth how much ever I spoke! One thing I forgot to mention - he always treated us equally - whether it was Azhar or me or Joel - the same!

Dr Arun, Joseph Fernandes, Brother K M Joseph, me and Joel

Apart from his family, some students, some Brothers from Montfort, there were some celebrities like PR Man Singh, manager of the 83 World Cup team who came with his son Vikram, D Ravi, Secretary, Economic Relations, Arun, ortho surgeon. We raised a toast and Brother and I got to drink some wine while we watched an AV on his life with wishes from family and friends and pictures from his life. Then some speeches and songs and then drinks and socialising. It was a lovely evening and I was so happy to be part of it.

I had to leave a bit early owing to a situation at home when some guests were waiting but what a lovely evening! Thank you Brother for all the guidance and the great times and  like your family members said, a hundred is yours for the taking.

While on the subject, here are some of the old blogs I wrote about Brother K M Joseph.

https://harimohanparuvu.blogspot.com/2019/01/happy-70th-birthday-brother-joseph.html 

https://harimohanparuvu.blogspot.com/2012/06/bro-km-joseph-cricket-brother-of-all.html

https://harimohanparuvu.blogspot.com/2017/12/honoring-brother-km-joseph.html


Swimming Against the Tide - Madhavi Latha

Madhavi Latha Prathigudupu is the founder of 'Yes we to can' a trust committed to help the disabled improve their health by participating in sports. A Paralympic champion herself, she overcame severe disability to and a time in life when she was told she had a year to live, to become the national Paralympic swimming champion, an ambassador for Paralympic sports persons (and for human spirit), President of the Wheelchair Basketball Association, of Paralympic Swimmers. As a sports administrator conducting events for the disabled she has done what most cannot even dream of. To top it all she has been an executive in a MNC bank, a speaker, an author and a wonderful example of what human spirit can do when driven by a cause.  


Madhavi Latha was born in 1970 in a village called Sattupally as the youngest of five siblings, 3 older sisters and one older brother, to Pardhasaradhi Raju, the much respected and loved Head Master of the village school,  and Varalaskshmi Devi, a homemaker. When Madhavi was seven months old she had high fever, a polio attack, which was not treated right. Her entire body except her left hand was paralysed, she struggled to keep her head steady in the worst of times. Over time she regained some control but her left leg remained fully paralysed. When the doctors at the Guntur Hospital diagnosed her later they felt that her survival was considered a miracle. Despite her circumstance, she remained cheerful and happy and detested the sympathy she got. With the loving care of her parents and her siblings she went to school, had supportive friends, and showed an aptitude for academic study, topping her class.  

When she was 7 years of age an ortho surgeon from Hyderabad operated on her - one surgery on one leg went well and other did not. Her description of Hyderabad its double decker buses, Charminar etc is one thing but there's perhaps a greater motivation from that trip- a memory of a woman scooterist who wore dark glasses waiting at a traffic signal -  a sight that made her make up her mind that one day she would also drive a scooter in Hyderabad like that lady. She did, twenty years later. Sometimes we wonder where such inspirations come from, who that lady was and whether she even realises how much she has impacted Madhavi and through her hundreds. Life indeed is amazing.

Back to the surgery - the second surgery on the other leg was unsuccessful and the doctor suggested that she wear callipers (for the rest of her life). That disappointment that she  would not be normal despite the surgeries, the doctors rather unemotional and distant behaviors, the pain of wearing callipers, all led to her never really wearing them. Madhavi went back to life in the village with a cheerful disposition. But she remembers the nurse Raghavamma at the NIMS Hospital where she had the surgery being kind to her (never can underestimate the power of kindness). She remembers reading books by the dozen, getting the one toy that her parents bought - ever.

In her memories of her childhood she remembers the house they built vividly and I really wished I could see a picture of it, the new Humber cycle they got, the radio, the cinema hall behind their house, sleeping under the sky and stuff. Then, incredibly, they lost their house to a fire and then again suffered during the cyclone which threatened to blow their half constructed house away. They survived it all though. She remembers being curious about death - what happens after we die etc.

Madhavi was always a good student and her progressive father encouraged her to study - he wanted all his daughters to study and they studied and acquired high qualifications. Despite doing well in school she could not study in a regular college because there were no facilities for the disabled and unlike school, she could not crawl from class to class. She chose to study Math, Economics, Logic (MEL), privately and scored well in an exam with no formal tutoring. She recalls that she had invigilators only for her for that exam. Madhavi started taking tuitions, even teaching students older to her. 

When she wanted to study BA (Math) in Osmania Univeristy her supportive parents moved with her for the exam period to Kodad, and she successfully completed it. Her father wanted her to be independent (she herself had a strong desire to be financially independent) and they applied for jobs at LIC as an assistant - and was told she was ineligible. Then some relative told her that there were exams for bank jobs. The exam that she wrote had her seat on the fifth floor and her father , fifty years old then, carried her for five floors. Madhavi says how moved she was by the sight of her father who was very tired with the physical effort but it went well and she was selected - only to be told that she was medically unfit. They appealed to the bank, got letters from a doctor that she was fit and finally got the coveted job. One can see how much of a struggle she had to face at every stage and how unhelpful and biased people and institutions were towards the disabled. That she never gave up nor did her parents was the difference. 

Madhavi learned at every job she was assigned- dispatch onwards. She writes about how helpful and friendly her colleagues and officers were, how much she learned from the good officers and their methods of working. One lady boss told her that she should leave her  desk everyday in such a fashion that if she does not come the next day, the work should not suffer! She wrote more tests and got promoted. One more disappointment because despite acing the exam, the chairman of the committee rejected her because she was disabled. She wrote again, cleared it and got her promotion. This time she had to move to Hyderabad where she worked in the Nallakunta, IFB and OU branches. Here she bought a scooter with the required adjustments, and rode it in the OU campus, to work. She writes about how once she and her colleague Neeraja got drenched in the rain on their way back and it was fun. It is with such love for life that she carried on. While at the Industrial Finance Branch she picked up a lot. She planned to do her MBA from IGNOU. This was the time when they also bought a flat. She got her room painted with radium on the roof so it looked like the sky. That was how particular she was about what she wanted. Sometime then she got herself a car too.

After writing and passing a particular exam she was eligible for a promotion - when she got an offer from an MNC in Chennai and she took it up. It was a big move, new place, new language, no security of a government bank. But by now we know that Madhavi is not one to back away from challenges. One of the first things she mentions in the new office is that there were separate rest rooms for the disabled and how she loved it. All her life she had to hold herself because toilets were not accessible and suffered immensely. Finally she felt some people understood. One interesting thing here is the story of how a trainer from a foreign country came to take a session for her office and since it was on another floor that was not accessible they left her behind. After the program the trainer saw her sitting at her desk and when he found out why she had not attended, proceeded to  repeat the entire session for her.

Sometime then her pain increased and the X ray showed a spine that was curved badly.  The doctor pretty much gave her a death sentence and told she has 365 days to live. After the initial fear and the discomfort of her pain,breathlessness she and her family tried everything, explored surgery, ayurveda and homeopathy. That was when they met a physiotherapist Ananda Jothi who told her that she should go back to work and take up sports. (Her question to him was - can I work till i  die?) He told her to use a spinal brace, to take up hydrotherapy and taught her how to walk in water, swim, do exercises with dumbbells. Then she learned about Post Polio Disorder and wished she had known these things before.

As she started doing hydrotherapy she began to feel better. She could sit without a brace. That was when she gave her name for a swimming competition, and despite her apprehensions, completed it, and got an award. Everyone congratulated her on her gumption and spirit. That was when she decided she had to create awareness to children and people with disabilities that sports can change their lives. She started her 'Yes, We Too Can' movement inspired by Obama's "Yes we can". Her aim is to set up a sports school which she still hopes to at some point.

After that her life went into a hyper drive, driven by her purpose to help others and to spread awareness. She started the Trust, got help from the government, asked IIT Madras to design a pool lift. She participated in the State Paralympics (SDAT) and won gold. At the Kolhapur national Paralympics she won three golds and was a national champion at the age of  forty. At work she was awarded 'Woman of the Year' by her office. She got involved in organising the Swimming Nationals with support from her office (in her early attempts to raise funds she and her friend would visit jewellery stores!). Finally her office stepped in with their CSR Funds and they conducted it wonderfully. 

In 2013, she saw two other sports and was impressed by them - wheelchair basketball and blind cricket. This was also the time when she was very busy - she participated in a blind car rally (she drove). attempted rifle shooting successfully, gave a TEDx talk, joined the Toastmasters club, took up yoga. started going to the gym, doing aqua dance. She was on the Selection Committee for Khel Ratna and Arjuna Award with Sehwag and PT Usha. That same year she met Tendulkar, Dravid, Abhinav Bindra. 

Sometime then she met Rajasekharan, my friend from  IDBI who now runs this wonderful NGO called V-Shesh (and who is now part of the wheelchair basketball committee), attended an international conference, conducted camps for swimmers, saw swimmers lives being improved thanks to the confidence they got from sports. In the Wheelchair Bsketball she saw international coaches telling players to do their own thing including serving their own food and behave like normal people as much as they can and found that hugey empowering. They conducted camps for the wheelchair basketball players and to develop technical expertise. When they got the recognition from the world body of Wheelchair Basketball she was invited to Japan where she and Kalyani, the Secretary of the WBFI -and she wrote her experiences there very nicely. They conducted the nationals, took the team to Thailand where she swam in the sea at the Pattaya beach. She and Kalyani went to Hamburg to attend another event, to the USA with the team where she remembers ringing a bell in a temple for the first time. She addressed policy makers in Mussoorie. and wrote about her experiences in the Himalayas, at being able to touch the waters of the Ganga.

Madhavi has achieved much and sees herself doing much more. She writes about how people speak to the wheelchair and not her, about the lack of facilities and sensitivity among people and institutions (including many temples). At the same time she writes about every single person who has helped her on her journey (she has this amazing gift for thanking everyone in her life), including the tea boy who stopped traffic to help her drive easily, the truck driver who gave her a thumbs up sign for driving her car. The role of her parents, her siblings, her nieces and nephews, her friends and students, her colleagues and teachers - the whole world in fact goes to show that if we begin something with the right intent, the whole universe will help us to manifest it. Madhavi stresses on the importance of fitness and exercise. That sport is a powerful tool and can change lives. And from her life we can see that if we have a purpose, nothing can stop us.

Madhai wrote the book with a lot of care, honesty, sensitivity and detail. Her entire life comes alive and she describes small incidents - her joys, her disappointments, her anger, her frustration - with an openness and vulnerability that is endearing. The vision of her parents taking her to a male nurse who offered to treat her, in a bullock cart with their family dog following them all the way, reaching that place at 2 am, her joy at riding her scooter and going to Necklace Road, at being able to swim, at leading the movement comes through almost physically. She did a great job at writing it down well and has received letters from the Prime Minister Narendra Modi on her book as well. I was pleasantly surprised to see my name mentioned in the acknowledgements though my contribution has been next to nothing. But that's how she is, generous, thoughtful and with an eye for detail. Wonderful effort by Madhavi. This book is a must read for anyone who wishes to learn about the triumph of human spirit.