Anjali - A True Feminist

 A small discussion triggered by the money discussion we were having and I told Anjali that I have told many of my females students to invest 10% of their earnings and grow their reserve. I also told her that many of them feel that they cannot take away what they earned and believe they have to give all their money to their husband or father or the male of the house.

 

Anjali is quite vocal on women's rights and patriarchy so she was rightfully upset. 'How can they not even take 10% of their earnings?' she asked. These are all signs of how deeply patriarchy is practiced. 

I thought she would look at them like victims and sympathise with them. But she surprised me with her views.

'They are to blame,' she said. 'Who asked them to bend over backwards? If they do, people will take advantage. Until they assert themselves they will be taken advantage of. They had better explain, convince others about what they want to do else they will be stuck like that forever.'

Now, that is what I call progressive. Assert yourself and make a start. Things change when you change yourself. Not by wanting others to change.

Good one Anjali. 

Anjali - A Discussion on Real Estate

 This was an interesting conversation we had the other day. Mansi's father Ramesh had dropped in and we were chatting about his real estate business and he explained how one of his friends' had invested in real estate and earned a lot of money. He said some of his friends pooled in money and developed land and shared the profits.

After they left, Anjali and I were discussing something and  she suddenly asked - 'Correct me if I am wrong but is this how real estate works,' she said. 'They buy a piece of land and pool in money together, develop it with that money and sell it at a higher price and share the profit.'

Absolutely right, I said. It was interesting that we spoke of real estate so we continued in that same vein. We looked at buildings while going to school the next day and how the owners of those buildings would have conceived the idea and built commercial complexes and collect rent. We also discussed how sometimes people with foresight or information invest in land near projects where highways are expected to come up or any sort of development like airports, IT Parks is expected, and reap the benefits of the increase in price. We even discussed insider trading while at that. I also told her about the book on money I was toying with and the general ideas it would contain. She was quite encouraging - 'I know you're think of fiction but you should write that next,' she said.

I liked the discussion. I would like her to develop a healthy relationship with money (unlike me who has not had a good one until a few years ago). Its a simple matter of seeing it in the right perspective, of developing the right behaviors and right attitudes and you are in good space.      

Donate to Build a Library in Gandhigram

Gayathri sent me this link about a couple who are building a library for school children. It costs about 3 lakh and they have raised about 80k by last count. 

More details and the donate button in the link below.

https://milaap.org/fundraisers/support-gayathri-50

Information from the link:

"This appeal is by Chophado Yobin, and Khiodo Yobin, pastors and leaders of the Lisu community, living in Gandhigram, Changland district, Arunachal Pradesh. My name is Gayathri Sreedharan, I'm an applied anthropologist based in India. I spent 7+ years studying the Lisu in that geography - one of the most difficult in the world - during which they saved me and supported me countless times. Now it's my turn to support them.

Gandhigram is one of the most remote, isolated villages in the world. The people who live here, the Lisu, are members of one of the smallest tribal communities in the world. Very, very few Lisu children get to start and finish school, and quality health care, groceries, supplies, infrastructure and local government - everything that makes for a developed society - are scores of miles away. The more isolated the Lisu feel, the more they feel neglected and rejected by the mainstream.

Chophado Yobin and his colleague Khiodo Yobin want to change this trend, by starting a library in their village! There is a primary school in Gandhigram, and the local church runs a weekly Sunday school there too. Studies show that, alongside classroom learning, reading stories and looking at photos, designs, illustrations go a great way in developing child and teenage minds. Chophado, Khiodo and I want to contribute to this, as well as the local teachers' efforts, by giving them additional materials, and giving the children the opportunity to look through different books and learn stories from other cultures.

I've collected more than a thousand English & Hindi children's and picture books and magazines for this effort. After several years of work, Chophado and Khiodo finally built a library structure in 2017, but it's made of wood and needs waterproofing so that the books can be protected during the monsoon (which runs from March/April to October).

Please help us in this effort. For the cost of one small coffee, you could help us insure this library, and nurture the children's natural curiosity, expand their horizons and change their learning outcomes for the better."

Every little helps so if you feel like it - pitch in.

Artist Date 4 - NTR Park and People's Plaza

 The idea was not to pan too much ahead and go with the flow. Options were Public Gardens. Vengal Rao Park. KBR, Durgam Cheruvu, a coffee shop ...with Public Gardens being the strongest contender. As the time drew closer I decided to take the Metro, get off at Public Gardens and walk around. But it decided to rain so I took the car out and went Public Garden ward.

Giant Wheel in NTR Gardens

The traffic was quite thick even at 330 in the afternoon. At Public Gardens I saw a huge battalion of police and media vehicles and wondered what was happening. One way to find out is to try to get in and I almost did - until an alert cop stopped me and asked if I had a pass for the assembly. I said i want to go to the Public Gardens. He said I cannot. Apparently the Assembly has taken over the entire Public Gardens because even the other gate was shut.

Lovely place to sit and chill

I drove back wondering what to do. Indira Park and Ramakrishna Mission came to mind but I had missed the turn. Quite by chance I saw this board for parking at the NTR Garden and I swung in. After paying 40 bucks for parking I hopped over and saw the NTR Memorial. Apparently one has to take off footwear before entering so I decided to skip it.

The seats - there's a gazebo to the right

 I walked around to the other side where the actual gate to the park was. A 20 rupee entry fee and I was inside. The gate and the stuff out there was tacky. Upfront is a place where there's a train station. I went over the station and found a fountain - must be the central place. I headed right and found some sad looking shops with no merchandise and no customers. There were many rides at 60 bucks apiece and some kids were lining up. I saw a couple of old ladies sitting with their grand children. Many Muslim families had come out as a group and were enjoying themselves, playing in the lawns etc. There was another enclosure with indoor games, shops selling pearls, a canteen selling sandwiches.

Tunnel for the train

It rained and I stopped a bit. Then I followed the outermost path around the park. I came upon another water body with some dilapidated boats - the men were overturning them and emptying the water.But even if the boats were fine, there was no water in the artificial lake. Beside that was a huge giant wheel which seems to be on vacation. 

Boys playing kabaddi

Large moulds of earth with green grass and some seats to sit provided much respite to many lovers. Some hung behind trees hugging one another passionately and breaking off when they saw me. Why, I wondered? Anyway this part of the park was exclusively for the couples and it was beautiful and deserted. I noticed that some couples would be sitting and the girls would be talking to someone on the phone - sounded like their mothers - while the boys patiently waited holding their hands. 

Tree House

I also saw many families from out of town - speaking languages I didn't know - not too well off by the looks of it. Public parks are such a boon to them I realised - for the price of 20 bucks you can enjoy the luxuries of wel kept lawns and rides and some food. Their pleasure at taking pictures together in front of water or a fountain was so beautiful to see.

Fruit themes 

On the pavement were many interesting vendors. The pani puri guys were there fully engaged, then I noticed some women who looked like Banjara women, good looking, lean, young, with a small child (like the beggar mafia types) selling some wooden curios. I was fascinated by two gentlemen who sat next to one another on the pavement with their parrots and cards - and one even had a Phone Pe! One sad looking Chinese stall caught my attention - maybe his business will pick up later. 

Cricket at People's Plaza

I walked out of the park after an hour or so and decided to walk to Prasad's to check out what's happening there. It was deserted. The normally busy Food Court was empty - only three stalls were open - fruit juice and salad, biryani and CreamStone. The booking counters for movies seemed to have moved down. The shops upstairs were also closed mostly. The people were about a tenth of what we used to see. Good time to watch movies.

Grand vista

I waled out and went to the People's Plaza by walk. I saw a bunch of young boys playing cricket. I bought myself a butta but it was the American corn one so I threw it off. I walked along the periphery of the Plaza. A group of policemen and women suddenly came to enjoy the view. 

They have the best view of the lake

A lovely breeze blew. A small family of a young boy, his father (left arm bowler) and mother (wicket keeper) played cricket in the middle. I looked behind me and saw the slum - having the best possible view of the lake and the best experience of the breeze. I bought some bhel sat down and ate it and then noticed many legislator types coming to enjoy the place. The assembly session must be over.

Sitting in my car listening to 'I'd die without you' and 'Thousand Years' 

And then I headed back in the rain and sat in the car. It was playing superb rain songs - Rhim Jhim Gire Saawan, I'd die without you and such. I had walked some 4.8 kms in over two hours and it felt good. Lots of sights and sounds and experiences. Good one.              

Thought for the Day - When You Understand Yourself You Don't Need Others to Understand You

 It often happens - we feel misunderstood by others. It causes a lot of issues in relationships. It happens when we don't understand ourselves and our actions clearly.

Most times we have an idea in our mind, several possibilities and options open to us, and say or do something in this hazy manner. Good intentions but no clarity in our own thoughts. Others do not understand us because our thoughts and actions seem different. We know the answer but they don't. And we get upset that they do not understand our intentions.

It may be so that the other person may not fully understand your intentions and motives - noble as they are. But one need not get upset that the other person is not understanding your intentions. It's enough that you understand and avoid the drama of wanting them to understand you.

When caught in that loop ask yourself - do I understand myself? If you do, good. That's enough. All further clear and loving action will flow from that.   

Thought for the Day - When You Fully Own Your Space, You Have Self Love

 This was an interesting thought - when we fully own our space, our thoughts and actions, it is self-love at its best. No other person or perspective can upset us anymore when we own our thoughts and actions.

All that matters is - what do I think and what do I want from this - and every thing falls into perspective. I want something from someone - as simple as going out there and asking instead of getting into a drama about - what will they think, what if they treat us badly, they didn't treat me well last time etc It just becomes a simple case of 'I want this' and I will ask this person. No grudge, no ill feeling. Simple action.

Own your space and things become crystal clear. It brings in self-love and cuts out drama and the control others wield over us.  

55th Birthday - Another Lovely Day

 I am loving these birthdays - the way they are getting better each year. This year it was 14 gifts, money form Mythily and Chanti, a party thrown on the birthday eve by Ram, cake by Kiran, dinner by Prarthana, 36 calls and 132 messages. Lots of love and I soaked in it fully.