Friday, July 8, 2022

Thought for the Day - Judgment Leads to Attachment (and to Pain)

 To get attached to something we must first judge it. We have to separate it and identify it, give it a name and a role and make it different. Then once it has a name - whether a person, or a car, or a pen- we will soon get attached to it because it will start taking on a life of its own - in our mind.


But if can stop judging and naming and calling it out and stuff, there's nothing to get attached to. Life is simpler and easier. Simply because it is easy to let go. And when it is easy to let go, it is easy to be light hearted, to be in the present, to enjoy it in its entirety- minus unnecessary drama.

Stop judgment. Stop separation. Stop naming. Stop attaching.

You're sorted. For life. 

Thought for the Day - Do Not Attach to Name and Form

 In the throes of hurt? Is the mind messing with you and playing havoc? Do you feel someone hurt you or played with your feelings?

Pic Satish Nargundkar

Relax. It's our mind at play, wanting to be the victim. The mind is a master storyteller, better than the ones who write web series, and can conjure drama from anywhere. Fact is nothing need to really hurt us - unless we want to hurt. What anyone does need not be accepted or even taken seriously. One has one's own life to life and a million possibilities to look at.

But no. Our mind wants its pound of flesh. It wants to cry and throw a tantrum. So what do we do?

I loved this thing I picked up from the book 'Dropping Ashes on the Buddha' where the Zen master says simply - do not attach to anything, to any name and form. Nothing is good or better, and nothing is bad and worse. There is no past and future, there only is what is.

He betrayed me - betray becomes a word, a name. We expect this in a relationship - becomes a name and form. 

Take out all names and forms and there are no rules, nothing to attach anything to. Things just are. There's nothing to get hurt about - nothing to cling to. And the mind drops off. Once it drops off there's no hurt. There's nothing really - just what is. 

What is is reality, the present. In the now, as Eckhart Tolle says, there is no pain.

Cut out name and form and you cut out much drama in your life. In fact the moment you sense pain or heaviness, check where you have been attaching to name and form in some way, the slightest way.     

Name, Place, Animal,Thing - Vrinda Baliga

 I love Vrinda's short stories and bought all three of her books. One of them (Mix Tape) has not reached me - thanks to the Amazon delivery chap who left it someplace else and it lies there - hopefully giving some happy reader great satisfaction. I read 'Arrivals and Departures' and reviewed the same and here I am with NPAT now. 


It's a collection of 10 stories - one of which, 'A Holiday in Goa' I read in the other collection - fascinating story. The other stories in this collection are equally intense, beautifully structured and crafted, and touch a very vulnerable part of you. As usual she strings together two threads, two parallel stories where one draws from the other, and I love the ease with which she does that. 

'At Loose Ends' is about a puppeteer family from Rajasthan and how the older generation treated their art form like a sacred art and how the younger generation has no time for it. It ends rather painfully with the young man throwing away the puppet - the narrator - and putting the old man into serious trouble. 'Name Place Animal Thing' is about growing up pains - how a new girl in class disrupts the peace of two friends and their private club, moves things around and in the desire to right a wrong, or even to push what she sees as meekness, incites a tragedy. 

'Stranger Anxiety' leaves you feeling a sense of loneliness as a widowed father welcomes his daughter and granddaughter home when the daughter has a domestic issue. His bonds with the granddaughter develop and one sees purpose and happiness return to his life, when the couple makes up and the daughter goes back. The granddaughter leaves behind a toy. Again, heavy on the heart as Vrinda explores spaces that are difficult to access otherwise, heavy stuff.

'Siege' is about a tour guide at Golconda Fort and his increasingly strained relationship with his son. In one moment he feels - when has my son stopped showing me his paintings which he used to as a child and he realises that he did so when he had made light of those paintings. It's a moment that tugs at your heart - I experience that when I suddenly realise Anjali has grown up and there are things she does not share with me like she would when she was a child. The strained relationship between the father and son changes - perhaps with the father's change of heart, his acceptance that the child has grown. All's well that ends well but as in all her stories Vrinda leads you on an emotional roller coaster. 

'Preparing for life in a dead man's home' is this incredible story of a young girl who has access to a neighbour's house who she believes died in the tsunami and whose house she uses to escape from her own and prepare for her exams etc - until one day he returns after an year. The way Vrinda takes you on a tour of that house makes it comes alive with a dead man's possessions - incredibly sharp and sensitive writing.

'Bonsai' ends on a chilling note - a paying guest, an ambitious and controlling daughter in law, a reclusive, reticent mother in law who grows bonsai plants that are worth a lot of money - and a son whose growth somehow got stunted just like the plants. When the paying guest returns after eight years much has changed - the old is not there anymore, and the new has come. But has it happened the way it should have or did someone hasten the process? 

'Packers and Movers' is a moving story of a friendship that starts when a family moves to Hyderabad from Bangalore and all that happens between the time the neighbour helps the lady of the house to unpack and the time when she packs to move again. Much happens in that time and Vrinda beautifully brings out the subtle emotions one feels - a single mother looking for a relationship, a young wife looking to be a mother, two children with growing up pains. 

'Fifteen Minutes of Fame' is about an extra in film shoots who finally gets her fifteen minutes of fame rather accidentally which redeems her prestige in her family's and her neighbour's eyes. 'The  'Everlasting Car' is as much about the good old Standard car that the narrator remembers and how it shared so much of their lives, as it is about Bangalore of the old. Again Vrinda connects the subtle emotions of the past that seem to be gradually fading away and brings them to the present and it does bring up thoughts you perhaps do not want to stay with when you're lonely.  

Once again I am left amazed at the kind of stories Vrinda puts together and I am very interested now in interviewing her to get a sense of how she approaches her stories and constructs them, how she researches for them, how she makes herself the character - nowhere can we see her appear in any story - the characters simply hold the stage with their drama. Most importantly I would like to know how she gets into the soul of those characters, understand their pain and show it in such simple ways that absolutely hit home. She has a rare talent. 

Superb work again Vrinda and now to get my second copy of 'Mix Tape'.  And for readers who want to read some wonderfully well crafted stories, I fully recommend this book.

Wednesday, July 6, 2022

Feedback on the Leadership Program - Cracking the Leadership Code

 We did several of these open programs in 2016-17. Some feedback from those. Thanks everyone. I'll enjoy looking at these!


























Feedback - Champion's Mindset

 This was a program on personal excellence we had done for Gap Miners and others. Some feedback.












Tuesday, July 5, 2022

Jug Jug Jiyo - Movie

 Young couple wants to divorce. But they want to hold breaking the news until the boy's younger sister is married. The boy wants to tell his father and realises that his father wants to divorce his mother. Its fun and stuff till then and suddenly becomes all moral and drama in the second half. I liked the first half. Anil Kapoor was brilliant.  Neetu Singh as well. Varun Dhawan and Kiea Advani do their bit.

I'd walk off after the first half if I had to watch again.


 

Feedback - Leadership Program @ Infiniti

 We did a series of workshops within one month - a cricket based outbound one and a leadership one. Some feedback after the leadership program. Thanks guys!