Shobha's mom fell ill and we got an SOS call from Milind. 'I think you should come,' he said. So we booked our tickets for Sunday and gritted our teeth for the journey not knowing what to expect. After all the precautions of all these months, not moving out, not meeting people etc, we finally had to bite the bullet and do many things we hadn't. Like booking a Uber for instance!
So the flight tickets were not too expensive even for the next day. We booked our tickets with no idea of what to expect. Then we booked a Uber put on our masks and headed off to the airport which was completely empty. The CISF chap asked us to show our Aarogya Sethu app which is a crazy exercise because no one knows what it means (one wonders if having the app slowly cures you by leaking in through the phone). Then we show our boarding passes etc and then we get in and do our security stuff. At the gates the airline gives us a kit - mask, shield, sanitiser and stuff and you are asked to wear and sit with those inside. The middle row which used to be empty earlier now is full and the person sitting there has to wear a PPE which is primarily a white coat that makes you look like a doctor. I don't see how the white coat will prevent the virus from moving one seat to another sideways but well, perhaps we can fool it by looking like doctors.
A few rebels tried various things - like not wearing face shield and trying to hide their face when the hostesses came around, not wearing PPEs, wearing PPEs but not sitting in middle seats etc. After they were pacified the next thing was to eat. The girls served us some nice sandwiches and stuff and we felt it was better than what we ate before.
When we finally landed in Pune, the girls told us to alight row after row, which is something we could do when there is no pandemic situation as well. But the moment the flight stopped everyone got up and tried to bring down their cases in a rather violent manner, endangering people around. People tried to get ahead of their row in a desperate bid to get ahead in life but overall some semblance of order prevailed and we got off.
Uber at Pune airport and home. Piece of cake. You can take the face shield home because it is quite useful, something Anjali did, but I didn't. More on the situations here in COVID times soon!
Beauty Green is a resort set in lush and sylvan surroundings near Shamshabad. We have been going there thanks to Koni who has now got management stake in it. It's a great place to hang out, play table tennis and spend a day there. After a few such outings, we decided to spend one evening there - Vasu and me to begin with - and then Shobhs and Anjali joined in.
At dawn
So we went late in the evening on the 22nd and headed straight into some table tennis and carroms.
Ping pong - Vasu vs Anjali
After a couple of hours of serious work out we sat out there under the stars and drank some rum and coke as soft fog enveloped us. Some hot biryani polished off a fine day and we crashed out at midnight or so with promises of waking up early and going for a job. 6 am was the promised time.
The sylvan setting
We did make it - Vasu, me and Anjali - and jog we did for a 5.4 kms length through the entire layout - enjoying the sunrise, the slight mist and the fresh air.
Anjali, Vasu and a faithful doggy
Anjali and Vasu in the background
Shobhs at breakfast
Breakfast and then some more table tennis and then some lunch before we headed back home after a very fruitful outing.
This was a topic I really looked forward to reading about because I'm terrible at making choices - can't pick shirts, shoes, nothing. Sheena is obviously very well-read and well researched, so she quotes from many sources and studies in a patient and gentle tone that helps us to understand the theory, principle and practice. To get her point across she goes into history, culture, biology, business, psychology and delves deep into why people choose the way they do. In her epilogue, she also explains how many readers have told her that the book is so deeply researched that it somehow confused them a bit about what exactly the art of choosing was all about - culture, psychology - what. Sheena responded to their feedback and explained the seven chapters briefly in the end which helped me integrate the many thoughts she shared.
Sheena starts with wondering whether destiny, chance and choice contribute to where we end up in our lives. However, she says that choice alone gives us some level of control, the power to make the most of whatever comes our way through destiny and chance. And even when things go wrong, choice allows us to recover, survive and even thrive. Though some feel there's a greater force determining our lives, most find strength in the idea that we can design and construct our lives. We believe that choice allows us to be the architects of our future.
Clearly, humans are wired with the need for control and choice is a powerful way of exercising control. However, we all do not want the same choices or want choice in the same way because of our cultural backgrounds and personal experiences. People benefit from choice only when it enhances our sense of control. We need to be open to learning how others speak choice - and not assume that since we experience it a particular way, they will too. Culturally choice is spoken of differently.
Most also think of choice and freedom as being associated. We can choose to be free, to do our own thing. But then choices are also about who we are. We can find out more about why we behave in a particular way by using a 360-degree feedback system that may help us understand ourselves better. I also found this a very useful tool - to keep a "choice diary". Make entries of your most important choices. What you did and why you did etc. The record will help you understand yourthoughts and behaviour better. It could help you become aware of your biases and rationalizations.
Though we have reasons for making choices we must realise there are other factors involved too. We must be aware that we may be avoiding making choices colored by outside limitations which might note the best strategy. Instead, we are better off focusing on becoming more aware of hidden biases and preferences which push us to make choices we might not approve of if we were conscious of our underlying motivations. (It helps to go through the Implicit Association Test (IAT) she says so take it)
It is known that having a large amount of choice is frustrating. To help you decide in such cases,
1) Cut your options to a manageable number (seven plus or minus two is considered a manageable number of options to choose from)
2) Cultivate confidence in your choices by taking expert advice and personalised recommendations.
3) Categorise choices available to you because it enables you to simulate expertise and see clearly.
4) Condition yourself by starting out with fewer and easier choices and build more complex choices as you get better. Gradually increase the challenge, you'll feel more confident, build skill and improve your performance in the long run.
Sheena sums it up beautifully when she says choice gives us permission to imagine a better self. It holds the promise that we can create that better self through our own volition. Choice is possibility. Choice, however, is not the answer to everything. We must acknowledge that we don't always know how to choose and that choice has its own limitations. Be choosy about choosing she say. Less choice is ok. Choosing not to choose is fine.
Sheena says Choice is the responsibility of separating the meaningful from the trivial, the disheartening from the uplifting. We must focus on the choices that matter, The art of choosing she says finally is this - balancing hopes, desires, and an appreciation of the possibilities with a clear-eyed assessment of the limitations.
For those who want to hear it from her directly, here's her TED talk.
Very interesting book with a lot of research and experiments into why we choose the way we do. I did get lost in all the research and data and points she was making to build up the case but I liked the primary ideas of keeping a choice diary, becoming more aware of why we choose the way we do, knowing the cutting options helps choose better, getting expert advice and personalised recommendations, than relying on your rather unreliable choosing instinct, categorising choice to add clarity and to learn the process of choosing assiduously. Fine read.
One of the interesting things that happened yesterday during my visit to the NISA (National Industrial Security Academy) to deliver a talk, was meeting young Amit J, Asst Commandant, CISF. Apart from being the perfect host and taking care of me, he was also a very interesting person, curious to know about the writing process, the books I read, authors I like. He told me about how he got over the fear of not being good at English and how he got so good that he delivered a JOSH talk 'Failure to Success' which has, hold your breath, 17 lakh views! (I gave TED talk which has 2k views!)
It is full of energy, conviction and power and there's enough reason for it to get more views too. Amit told me about his interests, books he reads (Tony Robbins, Robin Sharma), his interest in Kalaripayattu which he is learning, fitness, among other things. Here's his JOSH talk and one I will remember and take inspiration from - that energy is wonderful. Good going Amit.
Sushmitha Tallapalli was at Gap Miners, my friend Ramaraju's company where I would train his employees on a weekly basis. I would share all my ideas with them, come up with new exercises and even do workshops. Then she left and got married.
The other day ti was her birthday and I wished her on facebook and he replied with a nice little story about Golconda High School.
It is something we all do but some of us take it to the next level. Almost to the level of gaslighting. To make ourselves right, we make everyone wrong in every way and have justifications for everything. Whatever it is, I am not wrong. I am wronged.
I'm right, You're Right!
Fact, our experience is our creation. We cannot blame anyone else for it really!
I didn't know such numbers existed until Pallavi pointed it out to me today. I wish there were numbers like this for animal care and such stuff too because I see animals on the road and I cannot do much except to feel bad for them.
